Step 1 - Clarify Your Goals and Concerns
Make a brief list of the issues you want to address—communication challenges, recurring conflicts, lack of intimacy, or trust problems. Having clear priorities will help you recognize counsellors who specialize in those areas.
Also, being clear about your concerns helps rule out the need for a different type of therapist, e.g.,:
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Step 2 - Verify Credentials and Experience
Look for licensed or registered professionals (e.g., marriage and family therapists, clinical psychologists) who have focused experience with couples. Read their profiles or websites to see if they address similar problems and have a track record of helping couples in situations like yours.
Step 3 - Understand Their Therapeutic Approach
Therapists may use Emotionally Focused Therapy, the Gottman Method, or another evidence-based model. These approaches differ in style and emphasis. Ask how they adapt their techniques to address your relationship’s specific needs.
Step 4 - Consider Practical Factors
Consider the location: is the therapist closest enough for in-person sessions in Cape Town, or does online therapy suit your situation? Online therapy can be more accessible but isn’t always the best fit—especially if you need intensive hands-on support. Still, online sessions allow greater flexibility and access to therapy anywhere in South Africa.
For many couples, the convenience of online sessions outweighs the desire for face-to-face contact, especially if work schedules or childcare responsibilities make it challenging to attend in person.
Consider which format offers you the most comfort and consistency—and confirm with potential therapists whether they provide both options.
Consider fees and affordability:
The cost of couples therapy in Cape Town can vary based on factors like the therapist’s credentials, their location (downtown vs. suburbs), and whether sessions are in-person or online.
Some therapists offer sliding scale fees or package deals, particularly if you plan to attend weekly over a set period. Be sure to ask about discounts, insurance coverage, or any flexible payment options to make therapy more affordable.
Don’t hesitate to reach out and ask about costs, frequency of sessions, and payment options. If a particular therapist can’t accommodate your budget, request a referral to someone more affordable who can still meet your needs.
Step 5 - Gauge Compatibility and Rapport
Book an initial session or consultation. Notice whether the therapist listens well, respects both partners equally, and fosters a safe environment. It’s okay to speak with more than one counsellor if you’re uncomfortable—you want someone who both of you trust to guide meaningful progress.
Many therapists also offer a brief initial consultation, either by phone or online, which lets both partners gauge how comfortable they feel. If it seems like a solid match, you can arrange ongoing sessions. If not, consider trying another professional.
Finding someone who aligns with your relationship values and goals is essential to meaningful outcomes.
