Three Ways To Move Through Grief and Loss

Whether it's the loss of a person or something that was special to you, grief can be an all-consuming experience.

Unfortunately, as much as we may want to "get over it", or are told to "get over it", grief is not something that we can fix or get over.

It is a universal experience and a part of our lives.

Sometimes when people are grieving, they find themselves lacking motivation, struggling to get out of bed, and even shower or eat.

Depending on their existing coping skills, they may turn to unhelpful ways of dealing with grief or worse, try to suppress their emotions around the loss.

If this is resonating with you, please know that you are not alone. These habits are far more common than you think.

Whilst grief can feel lonely, it doesn't have to be. In this article, I am going to share with you three ways that can help you process grief in healthy ways.

1. Lean into your emotions

Emotions are a big and complex web in the face of grief. They can range from regret, sadness, and guilt, to even relief, joy, and confusion. There is no right or wrong here. What you feel about your loss, is valid for you and your experience.

Emotions are not the enemy. Just because the person is gone, or the opportunity was missed, does not mean that the emotions around it will go away too. They might, but they might not.

You may have heard of the saying, "grief is love".

Grief is love.

Grief is all the love that you felt towards the person or situation that is no longer around. Where will it go now?

Lean into those emotions. Find ways to give that love back to yourself because perhaps, right now, you need it more.

2. Forgive yourself and accept the loss

This can sound like an overwhelming phrase but forgiving yourself is often the first step to acceptance of the loss.

Often, we are so consumed by all the things that we could have done differently, that we struggle to accept that the loss has even occurred.

We keep thinking that we could have saved the person or that we could have held onto that opportunity that was missed.

And sometimes, deep down, we know that we are right. However, the longer we hold onto this feeling, the worse we feel about ourselves, resulting in a ripple effect in our lives.

So, find ways to forgive yourself. Perhaps remind yourself that you did the best you could with what you knew/what you were capable of at that moment.

Perhaps, you could have done things differently back then, but you did the best you could and whilst you could have given more, you gave what you gave.

Sometimes there is a certain helplessness about acceptance, but there is also a sacred surrender. I hope that you can find ways to lean into this.

3. Surround yourself with people who "get it"

If the first two ways are difficult, let this third one be your anchor in healing your grief.

It is a sad truth that often people who are experiencing grief are imposed "time limits" by society whether this is in the form of limited time off work, a silent expectation to stop talking about the loss of the person, or a push to replace their loss with something "happy".

When you surround yourself with people who "get it", they will support and encourage you to move through grief in your own way.

Whether it has been a year, many years, or even a few weeks, you will be able to talk about your person or the situation without feeling judged or given advice and opinions on how to fix your grief.

These people are everywhere. They could be close friends, acquaintances, and even therapists and counsellors.

Your sense of grief around your loss matters. I hope that as you move through this journey, you find hope, love, and connection.

"I promise you can get through this. If this moment seems hard, remember that this moment will pass. And then the next moment will come and that will pass too. With each breath, moment to moment, you are living. You get to hope and you get to remember. Choose to live through grief, love through grief, and laugh through grief. You can. I promise." - Fouz Fatima.

May this article reach those who need it. Please do share it onwards.