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Find Marriage & Couples Counselling in , New Zealand
Revitalise Your Relationship
Marriage and long-term partnerships face unique challenges that can strain even the strongest bonds. Whether it's communication breakdowns, recovering from infidelity, struggling with intimacy, disagreeing about parenting, or simply feeling disconnected, marriage counselling in offers a proven path to reconnection and growth.
Research shows that couples therapy is effective: couples who attend therapy show large improvements in relationship satisfaction, communication, and emotional intimacy, and these gains are maintained over time.1 In fact, 70% of couples who complete Emotionally Focused Therapy are symptom-free at the end of treatment.2
Whether you're in crisis or want to strengthen your relationship, finding the right marriage counsellor can help you rebuild trust, improve communication, and create the partnership you both want.
Use the Filters
Think of the filters like a sentence: "I'm looking for a psychologist who identifies as female, and helps with anxiety. Then, use the advanced filters to narrow down to your ideal match, e.g., someone who also speaks German."
Consider profiles mentioning your primary concern:
- Communication problems, Infidelity recovery, Sexual intimacy, Parenting conflicts, Considering separation, Pre-marital counselling, Blended family issues
Learn about the therapist's approach (if you have a preference):
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method, Integrative Behavioural Couple Therapy (IBCT), Cognitive-Behavioural Couple Therapy (CBCT)
Consider practical factors:
- Location (in-person in or online anywhere in New Zealand), Insurance acceptance, Fee range, Availability, Language preferences
Tip: Many couples find online therapy more convenient for scheduling, especially with work and childcare responsibilities. Use the "Online Therapy" filter to expand your options beyond .
FAQ
Does marriage counselling actually work?
Yes. Research consistently shows that marriage and couples therapy are highly effective for improving relationship satisfaction, communication, and emotional intimacy.
A comprehensive meta-analysis of 58 studies involving over 2,000 couples found that couple therapy has a large effect on relationship satisfaction (effect size 1.12), with gains maintained over both short and long-term follow-up.1 This is a substantial improvement—couples who attend therapy show significantly greater gains than those on waitlists who don't improve on their own.
Even more encouraging: 70% of couples who complete Emotionally Focused Therapy are symptom-free at the end of treatment.2 This means the majority of couples who commit to the process experience meaningful relief from relationship distress.
What improves:
- Communication: Both self-reported and observed communication patterns
- Emotional intimacy: Feeling closer and more connected to your partner
- Partner behaviors: How you treat each other day-to-day
- Relationship satisfaction: Overall happiness and fulfillment in the relationship
Who benefits most:
Interestingly, couples experiencing more distress at the start of therapy tend to show larger gains.1 This means even if your relationship feels very difficult right now, therapy can help.
Evidence-based approaches include:
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Gottman Method
- Integrative Behavioural Couple Therapy (IBCT)
- Cognitive-Behavioral Couple Therapy (CBCT)
All of these approaches have strong research support and proven effectiveness.4
The bottom line: Marriage counselling works. The research is clear, the effect sizes are large, and the gains last. If you're willing to commit to the process, there's strong evidence that therapy can help you build the relationship you both want.
Why choose an independent marriage counsellor?
Independent marriage counsellors in work for you and your relationship—not corporate platforms or investor interests. This matters because:
- Tailored approach: Your therapist can adapt their methods, session length, and frequency to what works for your relationship—not what a corporate policy dictates.
- True privacy: Your relationship concerns aren't sold to third parties or used for corporate analytics. Independent therapists are bound by professional ethics, not business models.
- Continuity of care: Your therapist isn't reassigned or replaced to meet productivity targets. You work with the same person throughout your journey.
- Flexible pacing: Some couples need intensive weekly sessions; others benefit from bi-weekly or monthly check-ins. Independent therapists can adapt to your needs.
- No commission pressure: Because we don't take commissions on sessions, therapists have no financial incentive to extend or shorten treatment. They follow clinical judgment.
TherapyRoute connects you with independent practitioners who maintain full autonomy over their clinical work. You browse, compare, and contact therapists directly.
For more on how therapy works, read our guide on What is Therapy?.
What happens in marriage counselling sessions?
Marriage counselling provides a structured, safe space for both partners to address relationship concerns with the guidance of a trained professional.
First session:
In your initial session, the therapist will typically:
- Ask each partner to share their perspective on the relationship and what brought you to therapy
- Explore your relationship history, strengths, and current challenges
- Identify patterns in how you communicate and handle conflict
- Discuss your goals for therapy as a couple
- Explain their therapeutic approach and how sessions will work
Most therapists will meet with both partners together for the first session, though some may also schedule brief individual sessions to understand each person's perspective privately.
Ongoing sessions:
Typical marriage counselling sessions (50-60 minutes) involve:
- Check-in: How has the week been? Any significant events or conflicts?
- Focused work: Exploring a specific issue, practising communication skills, or processing emotions
- Skill-building: Learning techniques like active listening, expressing needs, or managing conflict
- Homework: Exercises or practices to try between sessions
- Planning: Setting intentions for the coming week
What to expect:
- Both partners are heard: A skilled therapist ensures both perspectives are valued, and neither partner dominates the conversation.
- Difficult emotions surface: It's normal to feel vulnerable, angry, sad, or frustrated during sessions. This is part of the healing process.
- Progress isn't linear: Some sessions feel productive; others feel stuck. This is normal in couples' work.
- Active participation required: Therapy works best when both partners engage honestly and complete between-session exercises.
Session frequency:
Most couples start with weekly sessions, then move to bi-weekly as progress is made. The total duration varies based on your concerns and goals.
For more on what to expect in your first session, read What is Therapy?.
What issues can marriage counselling help with?
Marriage counselling addresses a wide range of relationship concerns. Research shows that couples therapy is effective for many different issues, from everyday communication struggles to complex challenges like infidelity or trauma.3
Common issues couples bring to therapy:
- Communication breakdowns
- Conflict patterns
- Infidelity and trust
- Sexual intimacy
- Parenting disagreements
- In-law and family tensions
- Life transitions
- Financial stress
- Blended family challenges
- Considering separation
- Pre-marital preparation
- Emotional distance
Infidelity and trust rebuilding
Recovering from infidelity is one of the most challenging issues couples face. Research shows that couples therapy can help rebuild trust when both partners are committed to the process.
Effective infidelity recovery therapy typically involves creating safety for the hurt partner, understanding what led to the affair, rebuilding intimacy gradually, and developing new boundaries. Recovery takes time—typically 12-18 months of consistent work. A therapist trained in infidelity recovery can guide you through this process with evidence-based strategies.
Communication and conflict patterns
Poor communication is the most common reason couples seek therapy. Research identifies specific patterns that predict relationship distress, such as criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. Couples therapy teaches you to recognise these patterns and replace them with healthier communication strategies, such as expressing needs without blame and active listening.
Sexual intimacy concerns
Sexual intimacy issues like mismatched desire or emotional disconnection are common and can be addressed effectively in couples therapy. A skilled therapist can help you communicate about sex more openly, understand the link between emotional and physical intimacy, and address underlying issues like stress or trauma.
Not sure if your issue fits? If you're uncertain whether marriage counselling can help with your specific concern, most therapists offer brief consultations. You can describe your situation and ask whether they have experience with similar issues.
For guidance on choosing the right therapist, read How to Choose a Therapist.
Real choice. Authentic, independent, clinician-led care.
TherapyRoute is a clinician-led directory that champions independent practitioners who answer to you and their professional ethics, not to investors or corporate interests. We don’t take commissions, sell your data, or assign therapists by algorithm. You browse, compare, and choose.
— Vincenzo (Enzo) Sinisi, Clinical Psychologist (HPCSA), Psychoanalyst (IPA/SAPA), Group Analyst (IGA)
References
[1] Roddy, M. K., et al. (2020). Meta-analysis of couple therapy... Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 88(7), 583-596. Source
[2] Spengler, P. M., et al. (2024). A comprehensive meta-analysis on the efficacy of Emotionally Focused Therapy. Psychotherapy Research, 34(1), 1-15. Source
[3] Wiebe, S. A., & Johnson, S. M. (2016). A review of the research in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Family Process, 55(3), 390-407. Source
[4] Lebow, J., & Snyder, D. K. (2022). Couple therapy in the 2020s... Family Process, 61(4), 1359-1385. Source
[5] Schofield, M. J., et al. (2012). Short and long-term effectiveness of couple counselling... BMC Public Health, 12, 735. Source
TherapyRoute is not for emergencies and does not provide medical advice. All of our content is informational and cannot replace professional healthcare. In an emergency, contact a local emergency service. For immediate support, consider a local helpline.
