Wife and Mother - Home's Heartbeat
A wife's attitude can make a home warm and welcoming or tense and stressful. Through positive influence and prayer, she can transform her marriage, fostering love and growth for both partners.
Most of us agree that a wife and mother can soften or toughen the home's atmosphere, as author Melanie Chitwood suggested. She emphasizes that women serve as the heart of the household, with their attitudes shaping the emotional tone of their families.
A wife's positive demeanour can infuse the home with a delightful fragrance akin to freshly picked flowers, while a negative one can taint it like unpleasant garbage.
Regarding the impact of a wife, the Bible extols the virtues of a woman of noble character, emphasizing her incomparable worth and the trust her husband places in her. She consistently brings goodness rather than harm throughout her life.
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. “(Proverbs 31:10-12).
The Bible offers various insights into a wife's influence within the household. Proverbs 31 highlights the immense value of a wife of noble character, emphasizing her trustworthiness and the positive impact she brings to her husband's life.
Conversely, Proverbs warns against the detrimental effects of a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife, comparing her presence to constant irritation and suggesting that it's better to live in solitude than to share a home with such a spouse. These passages illustrate a woman's significant influence on the atmosphere and dynamics of her household.
Writer Juli Slattery further emphasizes the power wives hold in shaping their husbands' perceptions of themselves. She suggests that wives serve as mirrors, reflecting either their husbands' strengths or weaknesses. Every action and word from a wife has the potential to either build up or tear down her husband. This underscores the importance of considering how wives utilize their influence within their marriages.
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down “. (Proverbs 14:1)
In the realm of a wife's actions, reactions, and influence within the household, it's crucial to recognize certain principles:
Gary Thomas, in "Sacred Influence," emphasizes the importance of resisting the temptation to respond in kind to a spouse's wrongdoing. Responding to irresponsibility with more of the same only exacerbates the situation. Instead, he advocates for a counterintuitive approach rooted in love and responsibility.
Conquering evil with love and responding to irresponsibility with responsibility can lead to more constructive outcomes. Thomas further highlights the spiritual efficacy of kindness over negativity. He underscores that just as God won over humanity with grace despite their rebellion, spouses are called to respond with love even in the face of their partner's failings.
In "The Power of a Positive Wife," Karol Ladd emphasizes the transformative power of a positive attitude. Drawing from Jesus' teaching to let one's light shine before others, she encourages wives to radiate the gospel's truth, joy, and hope in their lives. This radiance, she suggests, can draw others closer to God.
These insights underscore the significance of a wife's demeanour and approach within the home, highlighting the potential for positive influence through love, responsibility, and positivity.
Indeed, frustrations within a marriage are not uncommon, and they can arise from both partners. However, it's crucial to maintain perspective:
Gary Thomas, in "Sacred Influence," acknowledges that no man is perfect; therefore, every wife will encounter disappointments in her marriage. He urges wives not to define their husbands solely by these disappointments but rather to seek out and appreciate the blessings their husbands bring, which imperfections can often overshadow.
In "Your Husband Your Friend," Bob Barnes addresses the common desire for spouses to change each other. He reminds wives that actual change comes from the Holy Spirit, not their efforts. He advises wives to communicate positively with their husbands and to entrust their areas of concern to God through prayer.
By doing so, they invite the Holy Spirit to work in their marriage, knowing that transformation may also occur within themselves. These perspectives emphasize the importance of maintaining realistic expectations, practising gratitude, and trusting in the power of spiritual guidance within the context of marriage.
Michael and Diane Fanstone, in "Praying for Your Unbelieving Husband," offer a reflective exercise for wives to evaluate their interactions with their husbands:
They encourage wives to listen carefully to themselves during time spent with their husbands, paying attention to their behaviour and words. Following this, wives are prompted to imagine themselves in their husbands' shoes and assess whether their actions and words helped draw them closer to themselves as their wives and to God's kingdom or whether they had the opposite effect, pushing them further away.
They suggest repentance for these behaviours and attitudes, followed by a prayerful request for God's help in making the necessary changes. This guidance encourages wives to be mindful of their influence on their husbands and to strive for behaviours and attitudes that foster closeness and reflect the love of Christ.
Stormie Omartian, in "The Power of a Praying Wife," emphasizes the true nature of the power of prayer within marriage. She clarifies that praying as a wife is not about gaining control over one's husband. Instead, it involves relinquishing personal power and relying on God's transformative power.
Omartian stresses that prayer is not a weapon to dominate or control one's spouse. Instead, it's a gentle restoration tool employed by a wife who prioritizes doing what is right over being right and seeks to give life rather than seek vengeance.
According to Omartian, prayer is a means of inviting God's power into one's husband's life for his ultimate blessing, which in turn benefits the wife as well. This perspective underscores the humility, faith, and selflessness required in prayer within marriage, emphasizing its potential for healing, transformation, and mutual blessing.
Peter Mugi Kuruga | Counselling Psychologist/Marriage and Family Therapist
Peter Mugi is a qualified Family Therapist, based in Kasarani, Nairobi, Kenya.
With a commitment to mental health, Mr Kuruga provides services in English and Kiswahili, including Counselling (Career), Counselling (Divorce), Counselling (Family), Counselling (Marriage), Individual and Couple Therapy, Marriage and Family Therapist Associate, Mediation, Online Counselling / Phone Therapy, Relationship Counselling and Stress Management.
Mr Kuruga has expertise in Addiction (Drugs and Substances), Adolescent Counselling, Behavioural and Emotional Problems, Bereavement and Loss, Divorce and/or Separation, Family Problems, Parenting Issues, Pre-Marital Counselling, Relationships and Marriage Problems and Suicide Ideation / Survivor.
Click here to schedule a session with Mr Kuruga.
Important:
TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
Find a Therapist
Find skilled psychologists, psychiatrists, and counsellors near you.
