How to Improve Your Parenting Skills
Great parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Here are six simple yet powerful skills to help you raise happier, more resilient kids.
Parenting is often one of the toughest jobs a person can take on. No one starts out knowing exactly how to handle every situation—but great parents are always seeking ways to grow and do better.
If you're here to learn more about parenting, you've already made an important move toward becoming a more knowledgeable and intentional parent. That shows you genuinely care about how you relate to and raise your children, which is at the heart of good parenting.
To support your growth, the author Katherine Reynolds Lewis lists six practical things you can start doing today to strengthen your parenting skills.
Table of Contents | Jump Ahead
- Improve Your Listening
- Stand by Your Rules
- Be a Model They Can Copy
- Manage Your Emotions
- Embrace Flexibility
- Express Your Love Often
- Final Thought
Improve Your Listening
Have you ever been so caught up in everything going on that you didn’t even notice your child was talking to you? You're not alone—it happens to all of us at times. The next time you're with your child, try to set aside distractions, including those persistent thoughts about work, chores, or your phone. Make it a priority to understand what your child hopes for, what they’re afraid of, and what causes them anxiety. Take time to listen and ask questions, even if they seem disinterested or reluctant to respond. When you show genuine interest, it communicates that you care deeply about them and value what they think and feel.
Make active listening a habit in your home. This involves truly focusing on what your child is saying instead of thinking about how you'll respond right away. Strengthen your listening by physically getting on your child’s level—this might mean kneeling or sitting so you can meet their eyes. Give them your undivided attention and maintain meaningful eye contact.
Stand by Your Rules
Part of your role as a parent is to guide your children in understanding right from wrong—which also means you need to model that behaviour yourself. When you make a mistake, lose your temper, or fall short, own up to it. Show your kids how to apologise, take responsibility, and make things right. Be consistent with your discipline, but also allow room for flexibility. Sometimes a firm “no” is necessary, while other times you might realise you were too strict. If you decide to adjust your stance, be honest and say, “I was wrong,” and explain your reasoning. Keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s okay to admit them. But when a consequence is fair and appropriate, stand firm. Kids quickly pick up on inconsistency and may try to take advantage of it.
Also, once rules are set, they need to be followed and enforced. And unless there's a valid reason, the rules that apply to your children should apply to you as well.
Be a Model They Can Copy
In the same way, avoid doing anything in front of your kids that you wouldn’t want them to copy. If you notice yourself acting in ways you wouldn't want them to imitate, it’s a good reminder to rethink how you respond in those moments. Keep in mind that your children are always watching—they see you going to work, handling household tasks, cooking meals, and managing finances. That’s why it’s important they witness you taking care of your responsibilities. The goal isn’t perfection, but rather showing them what it looks like to practice hard work, accountability, and integrity.
Manage Your Emotions
When you lose your temper in front of your kids, it can make them feel anxious or even afraid—especially when they're young. Whether you're upset with a customer service rep or having a disagreement with your spouse, try to stay calm and avoid reacting in a harsh or immature way. Every time you yell, argue, or lose control, you're teaching your children that this is how people respond to stress. Instead, aim to model how to handle difficult emotions with patience and self-control. This helps them learn emotional intelligence by example. And if you do have an outburst, own up to it. Apologising and taking responsibility shows your kids how to be accountable for their actions—even when emotions run high.
Embrace Flexibility
At times, parents can become overwhelmed by setting unrealistic expectations for both their children and themselves. If you often feel this way, it might be a sign that it’s time to take a more flexible approach—with your parenting, your kids, and yourself. Perfectionist parenting creates unnecessary stress. These parents often fear making mistakes that could negatively impact their child’s future and place intense pressure on their kids to be perfect. They also tend to demand too much of themselves. If you lean toward perfectionism, you might find yourself worrying about how others view your parenting or feel embarrassed if your child isn't meeting certain milestones—like potty training quickly or excelling academically. This kind of pressure can backfire, leaving your child feeling like they’re not good enough.
It’s important to pause and reflect on whether your expectations are truly reasonable. Learning to let go of the small stuff and adopting a more relaxed mindset will benefit both you and your children, making the parenting journey far less stressful.
Express Your Love Often
There’s no question that you love your children—but how are you showing it? Do you regularly offer hugs, kisses, or gentle touches like holding their hand or brushing their hair? These simple acts of affection can go a long way in helping your child feel secure and deeply loved. Spending quality time together is another powerful way to express love. It tells your kids they matter to you. But make sure you’re fully present—put down your phone and engage with them in a meaningful way. Showing interest in what excites your child is another great way to show love and build connection. For example, if your child is into basketball, shoot some hoops together. If they enjoy art, paint with them or take them to a museum or craft fair. Whatever their interests, use them as an opportunity to connect and show that you care about what matters to them.
Final Thought
Keep in mind, being a loving parent doesn’t mean being a perfect one. Focus on growing in your parenting, but don’t dwell on mistakes. Everyone slips up now and then—it’s how you respond that counts. Apologise, when necessary, make it right, and move forward. What matters most is being consistently present, setting healthy boundaries, and showing your kids—through your words and actions—that they are truly loved.
References
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2019). Effective discipline to raise healthy children. Pediatrics, 142(6), e20183112.
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2023). Serve and return interaction shapes brain architecture. https://developingchild.harvard.edu
Eisenberg, N., Spinrad, T. L., & Eggum, N. D. (2010). Emotion-related self-regulation and its relation to children’s maladjustment. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 6, 495–525.
Hibbard, D. R., & Walton, G. E. (2014). Perfectionistic parenting and its impact on child development. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 23(8), 1465–1475.
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