WHEN THINGS ARE TOUGH IN A RELATIONSHIP

When issues are tough in a relationship, it's important to approach them with care, empathy, and effective communication.

• Admit it — Acknowledge the differences between you.

• Face it — Don't avoid conflict.

• Confess it — Admit when you are wrong.

• Value it — Honor the privilege of marriage.

• Laugh at it — Keep your sense of humour.

Emotions can run high during difficult times. Stay calm and composed, as reacting impulsively can often worsen the situation.

Give your partner the chance to speak and listen actively. This means paying attention to what they're saying without interrupting or becoming defensive.

Instead of blaming each other, focus on the issue itself. Use phrases like "Let's work on this together" rather than "You're the one who always..."

Collaboratively brainstorm solutions to the problem. This can help both of you feel invested in finding a resolution.

Be willing to compromise and find the middle ground. Not every issue will have a perfect solution, but finding a compromise that both parties can live with is a positive step.

Respect each other's personal boundaries and emotional limits. If one of you needs space or time to think, honour that request.

Even during tough times, make an effort to maintain love and affection in the relationship. Small gestures of kindness can go a long way in maintaining a strong connection.

Sometimes, emotions can become overwhelming. It's okay to take a break from the conversation if you're not progressing or getting too heated. Agree on a time to return to the discussion.

Understand that no relationship is perfect. Every relationship will have its ups and downs. Setting realistic expectations can help you navigate tough times more effectively.

Always remember that all relationships face challenges, and how you handle them can greatly impact the outcome. By behaving maturely, empathetically, and constructively, you can increase the chances of resolving issues and strengthening your relationship.

If the issues persist and you're finding it difficult to resolve them on your own, consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or counsellor. They can provide guidance and facilitate communication. Seeking help in resolving issues in our marriages is not a weakness but a strength we all should be proud of.

Peter Mugi Kuruga | Counselling Psychologist/Marriage and Family Therapist.

Dip. In Counselling, B.Com. M.A., PhD in Marriage & Family Therapy (On going).