I often have people ask me what the point is of speaking of past experiences in therapy sessions. After all, it's over; it’s in the past. What really is the point of spending 50 minutes every week retelling the past? Well, we don’t necessarily jump right into it or focus purely on it, unless it seems necessary. Often, we focus on the here and now, what truly matters or seems emotionally important to the client at the moment.

But if we do, then- the answer would be to achieve a sense of resolution. What is the kind of resolution we are trying to achieve? During a typical therapy session, the client and therapist attempt to address the lingering effects of painful past experiences through revisiting, acknowledging painful emotions, and making sense of one’s own thoughts, feelings, and losses in the process.

What is the rationale, and how does it work?

During sessions, I explore with my clients the rationale behind why we are going to spend time discussing specific experiences from the client’s past and what we are hoping to eventually achieve out of the process. We look at it both from short-term and long-term perspectives. The painful emotions that may emerge in the short term when we begin to process and make sense of these experiences versus the ability to claim one’s sense of self back from these past experiences in the long term. In the subsequent sessions, we try to also stay grounded and stick with the rationale or intention while we explore the client’s vulnerabilities.

What kind of past experiences are we talking about?

These could be our past hurts, humiliations, past relationships, dangers, or losses. These may be real or perceived failures or losses. Either way, these experiences can cause distress or psychological disturbances, possibly affecting the way we think, feel, and the decisions we make. Sometimes, these may be the lingering effects of traumatic experiences.

In counseling, you are revisiting these experiences with a clear intention. The reasons may vary for each individual. Following are some of the reasons one may relate to-

• To move from disintegration to integration- that is to feel like all parts of self and past are accessible, and we are able to make space for both the good and the bad.
• To feel at peace and not be limited by specific past experiences
• There may be patterns in your life that you have been previously unaware of. By connecting with your current set of emotions and looking into your past experiences, you are able to also examine the root causes for these patterns.
• To acknowledge difficult emotions linked with past experiences that may have been manifesting as excessive self-doubt, low mood, lack of interest and engagement, and more.
• To let go of self-blame and treat self with more compassion and understanding.

When should I consider counseling to deal with the past?

• If you notice that you are having strong emotional reactions to seemingly minor things.
• It impacts your current functioning and different areas of your life- work, relationships, etc.
• If you are feeling preoccupied with the past; constantly thinking and speaking of past experiences
• Or else, the other extreme wherein you find yourself going to lengths to avoid reminders. For e.g., running away from reminders of past experiences.

Irrespective of the reasons, if you are feeling confused and finding it difficult to make a decision, it might be helpful to speak with a professional to understand whether what you are experiencing is normal in your context.

I often have people ask me what the point is of speaking of past experiences in therapy sessions. After all, it's over; it’s in the past. What really is the point of spending 50 minutes every week retelling the past? Well, we don’t necessarily jump right into it or focus purely on it, unless it seems necessary. Often, we focus on the here and now, what truly matters or seems emotionally important to the client at the moment.

But if we do, then- the answer would be to achieve a sense of resolution. What is the kind of resolution we are trying to achieve? During a typical therapy session, the client and therapist attempt to address the lingering effects of painful past experiences through revisiting, acknowledging painful emotions, and making sense of one’s own thoughts, feelings, and losses in the process.

What is the rationale, and how does it work?

During sessions, I explore with my clients the rationale behind why we are going to spend time discussing specific experiences from the client’s past and what we are hoping to eventually achieve out of the process. We look at it both from short-term and long-term perspectives. The painful emotions that may emerge in the short term when we begin to process and make sense of these experiences versus the ability to claim one’s sense of self back from these past experiences in the long term. In the subsequent sessions, we try to also stay grounded and stick with the rationale or intention while we explore the client’s vulnerabilities.

What kind of past experiences are we talking about?

These could be our past hurts, humiliations, past relationships, dangers, or losses. These may be real or perceived failures or losses. Either way, these experiences can cause distress or psychological disturbances, possibly affecting the way we think, feel, and the decisions we make. Sometimes, these may be the lingering effects of traumatic experiences.

In counseling, you are revisiting these experiences with a clear intention. The reasons may vary for each individual. Following are some of the reasons one may relate to-

• To move from disintegration to integration- that is to feel like all parts of self and past are accessible, and we are able to make space for both the good and the bad.
• To feel at peace and not be limited by specific past experiences
• There may be patterns in your life that you have been previously unaware of. By connecting with your current set of emotions and looking into your past experiences, you are able to also examine the root causes for these patterns.
• To acknowledge difficult emotions linked with past experiences that may have been manifesting as excessive self-doubt, low mood, lack of interest and engagement, and more.
• To let go of self-blame and treat self with more compassion and understanding.

When should I consider counseling to deal with the past?

• If you notice that you are having strong emotional reactions to seemingly minor things.
• It impacts your current functioning and different areas of your life- work, relationships, etc.
• If you are feeling preoccupied with the past; constantly thinking and speaking of past experiences
• Or else, the other extreme wherein you find yourself going to lengths to avoid reminders. For e.g., running away from reminders of past experiences.

Irrespective of the reasons, if you are feeling confused and finding it difficult to make a decision, it might be helpful to speak with a professional to understand whether what you are experiencing is normal in your context.