Parenting And Healthy Use Of Technology And Social Media

Raising children in today’s digital world can be challenging. With technology evolving so quickly, many parents struggle to keep up and to find the right balance between its benefits and potential risks. Author and digital parenting specialist Dr. Jacqueline Nesi offers expert advice on how families can build a healthy and balanced relationship with technology.

Communicate early and often about the role of technology in your family’s life

1. Start conversations about devices.

Talk with your child about their technology use just as you would ask about school, hobbies, or friends. Ask what they enjoy, what they dislike, how frequently they use their devices, and what feels helpful or challenging.

2. Talk openly about risks.

Be honest about your concerns, such as devices interfering with other activities, exposure to inappropriate content, or unsafe online behaviour. Help your children understand both the benefits and potential dangers of technology.

Let your children know clearly and repeatedly that you want them to come to you if something online confuses or upsets them. You might say: “Sometimes things online can be confusing or upsetting. I want you to tell me when that happens so we can figure it out together.”

When your child does come to you, stay calm and supportive. Even if what they share surprises or worries you, begin with appreciation rather than punishment, something like, “Thank you for telling me.” This builds trust and encourages future openness.

3. Look beneath the surface.

Avoid assuming technology is always the problem. Sometimes device overuse signals deeper issues such as low self-esteem, peer pressure, or academic stress. If your teen is constantly checking social media, use it as an opportunity to explore what might be going on emotionally or socially.

Set boundaries that make sense for your family

1. Define clear “yes” and “no” rules.

“Yes” rules outline positive behaviours, how to be respectful online, what healthy tech use looks like, and what it means to be a responsible digital citizen. “No” rules clarify unsafe or unacceptable behaviours, such as cyberbullying or sharing personal information. Reassure your children that mistakes are part of learning and that they won’t be punished for coming to you honestly with concerns.

2. Designate tech-free zones.

Create device-free times or spaces, such as during meals, family time, or before bed. Consider a family charging station where devices stay overnight. Protecting sleep is especially important, as screens can disrupt rest.

3. Set expectations about content.

Ensure your children have access to age-appropriate content. Ask them to seek permission before downloading apps or joining platforms, and consider parental controls like screen-time limits, content filters, and restrictions on in-app purchases.

Be aware of your children’s device use

1. Use technology together.

Practice co-viewing and co-use by watching shows, playing games, or exploring apps together. Invite older children to show you what they enjoy online. This builds a connection and helps you understand their digital world.

2. Know when to monitor, and when to step back.

For younger children or those new to devices, some monitoring may be necessary (with transparency). As children mature, gradually offer more independence while staying generally informed about their online activities.

Model healthy habits for your children

1. Work as a team.

Be mindful of your own technology habits. Collaborate with your children to create shared rules and boundaries. Frame it as a joint effort, “We’re in this together”, rather than a power struggle.

2. Keep it fun.

Use technology as a tool for connection and creativity. Play games, explore hobbies, watch tutorials, or discover new interests together, from cooking and music to sports and crafts. This helps children see technology as a positive, shared experience.

While managing our children's screen time is vital, we must also examine our own digital habits, specifically, how we share our children's lives online.

Parents Sharing Posts of Children on Social Media (Sharenting) and Protecting Their Privacy

Parenting in the digital era can feel overwhelming. With social media, smartphones, and new technologies evolving so rapidly, often faster than our children are growing, it can be difficult to know how to use these tools wisely and safely, even with the best intentions. Many parents and caregivers share pictures and stories about their children online to celebrate milestones and keep loved ones connected to their family life. Yet, it’s important to recognise the potential risks associated with posting children’s content online, a practice often called “sharenting.” Author and sharenting specialist Stacey Steinberg offers the following guidance on safeguarding your child’s privacy, honouring their preferences, and teaching them meaningful lessons about consent in the digital world.

What is sharenting?

Stacey Steinberg describes sharenting as the act of parents sharing information about their children outside the private family circle, such as posting photos on social media, writing blog posts about their child, or sending videos through platforms like WhatsApp. When parents share details about their children online without involving them in the decision, they miss an important opportunity to teach and model the concept of consent. It’s a chance to show children that their voice and privacy matter.

What should parents and caregivers consider before sharing content about their children online?

There are two key issues parents should reflect on when sharing information about their children online.

First, the potential real-world risks. Children can be exposed to harm when personal information is shared publicly. Some individuals may misuse online content to target or exploit children. In certain countries, data companies also compile digital profiles based on shared information, predicting future behaviours, interests, or even health risks. Another growing concern is the misuse of images. Photos can be altered, repurposed, or turned into harmful memes. While such incidents may not be widespread yet, advances in technology, especially artificial intelligence, could increase these risks in the future.

Second, the opportunity to teach consent and respect for privacy. When parents involve children in decisions about sharing, they model respect and boundaries. This helps children learn to honour others’ privacy and to expect the same respect for themselves. As children grow older and begin using social media, we hope they will seek permission before sharing images of others, including their parents and peers.

How do children feel about sharenting?

People of all ages value autonomy, and children are no different. Even young children care deeply about how they look and how they are represented, whether it’s choosing a favourite outfit or deciding who they want to be seen with in photos. These details may seem minor to adults, but they are meaningful to children, and their feelings deserve acknowledgement. Young children cannot fully understand or give informed consent, so parents must consider how their children might feel if they could express their opinions more clearly.

Sharing too quickly after an event can also shape or even replace authentic childhood memories with digital versions. Parents are encouraged to stay present with their children rather than focusing on capturing and posting moments. This helps children build genuine memories independent of screens and social media.

How can parents protect their children’s privacy in a digital world?

Parents can start by avoiding sharing highly personal or embarrassing stories and images, even if they seem humorous. It’s important to view posts from the child’s perspective. Photos showing children in any state of undress should never be shared, as they can be misused by harmful individuals. Parents can also involve children in conversations about what they choose to share and explain their decision-making process. This transparency teaches children critical thinking and digital responsibility, similar to showing the steps when solving a problem, not just the final answer.

However, parents should not bear this responsibility alone. Policymakers and digital platforms also play a crucial role in creating safer online environments for families. Technology evolves rapidly, and it is unrealistic to expect parents to fully understand every digital risk without systemic protections in place.

How can parents ask others not to post pictures of their children?

Parents can start by having open and respectful conversations with friends and extended family about their preferences for sharing their children’s images online. Remember that social media sharing is still a relatively new practice, and not everyone has thought deeply about its implications. Approach these discussions with the belief that clear and ongoing communication will increase the likelihood that others will respect your wishes.

For schools, churches, and other organisations, parents can inquire whether there is an existing social media or media-sharing policy. If none exists, parents can suggest creating one, recognising that other families may also want greater control over how their children’s images and personal information are shared.

How can parents and caregivers safely share photos and videos of their children?

Sharing online can never be completely risk-free; it always involves weighing potential risks against perceived benefits. For families who choose to share, it’s important to think carefully about who can see the content (privacy settings, followers, and how well you know them), how much identifying information is included (such as locations, school names, or recognisable landmarks), and whether the content could be embarrassing or harmful now or in the future.

While children are an important part of parents’ identities, they are also individuals with their own emotions and rights to privacy. Sharing personal content about yourself is different from sharing details about someone else in your home. As one expert notes, today’s children are the first generation to grow up with their lives documented online, and today’s parents are the first to navigate raising children in the age of social mediamaking this a uniquely complex challenge.

What if you’ve already shared a lot and now have concerns?

First, stay calm. Most parents who overshare do so out of love, not harmful intent, and may not fully understand the long-term impact of a child’s digital footprint. If you’re reconsidering past posts, begin by reviewing what you’ve shared and removing anything you can. On some platforms, you can also request the removal of content you cannot delete yourself.

Around ages 9–10, parents can involve children in reviewing social media posts and deciding what should stay or be removed. Make it a regular practice, every few months, to review and clean up old content together. Children often appreciate being included in these conversations and decisions. Navigating digital sharing is challenging for both parents and children, especially since this is the first generation growing up with such extensive online documentation.

References

Steinberg, S. (2020). Growing Up Shared: How Parents Can Share Smarter on Social Media—and What You Can Do to Keep Your Family Safe in a No-Privacy World. Sourcebooks.