Overcoming 10 Barriers for Starting Therapy

Perhaps you are contemplating psychotherapy as a potential solution, but you are hesitant to take action in that direction due to the difficulty of making such a decision. This is likely that barriers or dysfunctional thoughts are preventing you from moving forward.

I cannot stand being a vulnerable person!

Sometimes, people may believe that seeking therapy means that they are unable to handle their situation on their own, and this can lead to feelings of weakness and unworthiness. An internal voice may criticize them, saying things like, "You're terrible!" or "Don't show your vulnerability, you'll be a loser!"

Alternative realistic thinking: Just like any other person, I am currently going through a tough time. However, I am accepting the situation and also have the bravery to seek help. Rather than enduring an unbearable circumstance, I am choosing to stand up for myself. This requires courage, not weakness.

Psychotherapy takes time and money!

Considering that therapy is expensive and time-consuming, you postpone or refuse it, remaining in a burdensome situation. Although you think you save money and time, you could spend even more time and money because of some dysfunctional coping mechanisms that bring you relief in the moment but guilt in the long run.

Alternative realistic thinking: I deserve the best for me! My health and well-being are invaluable; without these, money wouldn’t be an asset anymore, because I couldn’t enjoy those things I could buy. Instead of running away from my emotions, using alcohol and gambling – an illusory aid, I can invest time in therapy, taking steps towards the life I dream of.

I want to be the person in charge!

The thought of going to therapy scares you because you think you will not be in control. The idea of getting out of your comfort zone makes you anxious, and that’s why you avoid leaving it.

Alternative realistic thinking: The therapist is only the specialist guiding me in my journey of personal growth and I have the right to choose what I do, decide about the objectives, tell her/him if there is something that doesn’t resonate with me if the pace is not the right one for me and so on. Even if stepping out of my comfort zone is scary, as long as I am committed to making small steps, my comfort area will expand.

What will others say?

You are preoccupied with others’ opinions and any idea that you will not have their approval or, even worse, they will blame you, is tormenting you.

Alternative realistic thinking: Is it worth looking for others’ approval at the expense of my authentic self? I can choose the best things for me and start learning to tolerate others’ disapproval, under the therapist’s guidance.

I don’t want another person to judge me!

You are afraid that the therapist will judge you. T his could be the more scary, the more you have been criticised in your childhood.

Alternative realistic thinking: The therapist is not a judge for me, but an ally, helping me heal the old wounds, and guiding me to find the best solutions. She/he is also a human being with strengths and weaknesses, and he has already travelled to personal growth to become the professional she is today. That means he knows this process from the inside, better than anyone.

How could a therapist offer me solutions when she/he doesn’t know me?

You question the therapist’s ability to help you because you are a stranger to him. In addition, maybe you tried so many solutions, and you are so disappointed that they didn’t work, that you refuse to choose another one.

Alternative realistic thinking: Indeed, at the beginning of therapy, the therapist doesn’t know me, but if I talk sincerely about my problems and life history, my personality unfolds, and she/he will know me better and better. Moreover, the specialist will not offer me solutions but will support me in making my own choices.

My life is such a mess now! How could “talk therapy” help me?

From your perspective, things are so bad, that therapy wouldn’t be of much help. Probably you consider that if it isn’t something concrete (a pill, a specific medical procedure) couldn’t be efficient.

Alternative realistic thinking: Instead of remaining in this mess, being like a hamster on its wheel, I can do something different! Even if the therapy is not a magic solution, something fast forward, it’s important to begin this process of healing the emotional wounds, of using my resources to reach well-being. Even if at first glance it seems that talk therapy couldn’t be so efficient, it’s worth trying because it offers me the opportunity to talk about my fears and to have on my side a specialist listening to me and guiding me through the challenges maze.

I’ve got used to this situation. Why should I bother to change something?

Thinking this way, you can continue to endure the situation. But does this sound like giving up, like being a drifting boat, not using its sails in stormy weather?

Alternative realistic thinking: I can go to therapy, allowing the therapist to be my lighthouse. This way, I offer myself the opportunity to have guidance for sailing even in turbulent waters and at the end of this process the helplessness, pain and sadness will be replaced by hope, healing, and joy.

No one understood me until now. Why, this time, things should be different?

It sounds like you have the feeling that no one was there when you needed it, and this was so painful for you, that now you don’t want to take the risk of not being understood again.

Alternative realistic thinking: Even though I have this feeling now, things could be different because this is the role of the therapist – to help me make sense of my experiences and become aware of some patterns that I cannot see without the specialist’s help so that I can weaken them and have the life I want.