HUMAN DIGNITY AND PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH

It is often asked: “How does a normal and happy person look? What are the qualities of a person who has managed to develop his human dignity fully?” It is necessary for every committed Christian to be aware of the answers to these questions because it is one of his tasks to lead people to spiritual and psychological health. It is also necessary for the pastoral counsellor to ask himself: “How is my own spiritual and psychological health?”

A Christian counsellor is always tempted to see only spiritual problems and psychological disorders in those who consult him. It is, after all, the goal of pastoral care and counselling to help people to operate optimally on a spiritual and a psychological level and to enjoy life. We must, therefore, know the goal towards which we are working.

Psychological wrecks

An easy answer to the questions above is: somebody who functions well on a spiritual and psychological level is somebody who does not suffer from some or other psychological disorder. He is, therefore, not a psychological wreck.

But that does not say very much. Medical doctors often struggle with the question: When is somebody physically healthy? Is it only when there is an absence of pain, fever or other medical complaints, or is it more than that?

Physical health is more than just the absence of an ailment. It might be that somebody does not have a fever, does not feel any pain and does not suffer from some or other physical deformity, but it might also be that he does not have much energy, sleeps badly or complains of shortness of breath. In that case, one may say that that person’s health is not what it should be. To be really healthy one has to have enough energy and strength, one has to have a functioning immune system and one must be able to enjoy life.

And in the same vein, psychological health is much more than just the absence of psychological problems and complaints.

Defining qualities

The following nine qualities or characteristics may be regarded as defining spiritual and psychological health:

1. Control over emotions

2. Control overdrives and impulses

3. Self-knowledge

4. Realistic optimism

5. Self-confidence

6. Empathy

7. Compassion

8. Humour

9. A fixed philosophy of life

Control over emotions

The first characteristic is control over emotions. To control your emotions one has to know your own emotional state. You must recognise whether you are angry, disappointed, irritated, glad, stressed or bored. And then one also has to be able to judge whether these emotions are fitting in the situation in which you are. People very often have very inappropriate emotions in certain situations.

If your friend arrives late for an appointment it might be inappropriate to be furious; it would, perhaps, be more appropriate to be merely irritated or disappointed. Should you be furious and you tell him in no uncertain terms what a bad specimen of the human species he is, your friendship will definitely be ruined. If you inform him in a calm way that you are disappointed and inconvenienced by him coming late then you also give him the opportunity to explain why he could not make it earlier and even apologise for his failure to be on time. Should you act in this manner then you will have demonstrated control over your emotions without acting in a childish or egotistical manner.

In other words: die person who is functioning well is somebody who can control his feelings and knows how to give vent to these feelings in certain situations. A human being is, after all, a free being who can choose how to act and react.

Jesus certainly had this characteristic. We read very little in the Bible regarding his emotions. We know that he wept when He heard about the death of his friend Lazarus. He became justifiably angry when money lenders and retailers abused the temple complex in Jerusalem to make dishonest profits. We also read that He had much time for people who did not count for much in those times – women, tax collectors, cripples, blind people and children. Jesus must have had excellent control over his emotions.

Control overdrives and impulses

The second quality is control overdrives and impulses. To state it somewhat differently: the ability to withstand temptations and practice self-control and restraint. We all have certain drives. We need nutrition, water, rest and oxygen to live. We need relaxation, sleep, company and excitement. But it is not always possible to satisfy these needs immediately – except for the need to breathe and get oxygen. That is something that has to be satisfied constantly. But the satisfaction of the other needs can usually wait if need be.

And the mature, balanced person knows how to satisfy these needs in an appropriate way. You do not fall asleep in company – you wait until it becomes bedtime and you can reach your own bed. You will not seek relaxation in front of the television while you have visitors – you switch the television off in order to pay attention to your guests.

Therefore – the mature and balanced individual is somebody who takes control over his life and drives and is able to postpone the satisfaction of his needs.

Self-knowledge

The third trait is self-knowledge. The person with a mature, balanced and well-rounded personality knows and understands himself/herself. He knows what his strong and weak points are. He knows what he can do and cannot do. He is informed about his own abilities and restraints and he will, therefore, not make a fool of himself by trying to do impossible things. He also knows, though, whether he has a realistic chance to tackle a certain challenge and make a success of it.

He acknowledges his guilt if something goes wrong and he does not try to hide behind feeble excuses. Somebody with self-knowledge is, therefore, aware of the sources of his problems and failures – also when he contributed to these problems and failures. He will, therefore, not blame other people for his problems and failures.

Jesus must have had this quality. We often read in the Gospels that He performed miracles. He healed sick people. He restored the sight of blind people. He resurrected dead people. He walked on water. He commanded storms to quiet down. He fed a multitude of people. But there also were opportunities where He declined to perform miracles. That was when the people with whom He was dealing at that moment did not trust Him or when people asked Him only for the sake of sensation to perform signs and miracles. Jesus, therefore, knew when He could perform a miracle and when He could not do it. He knew Himself well.

Realistic optimism

The fourth characteristic is realistic optimism. The person who functions well psychologically is also an optimistic person. Somebody who is chronically pessimistic and always expects bad things from the future most probably has one or other psychological problem, such as depression, an anxiety disorder or a personality disorder. The mature and balanced human being always sees the bright side of life. For him the proverbial glass is always half full – not half empty. He is also able to look at life realistically. He makes certain of his facts and does not jump to overhasty conclusions in order to prevent himself/herself from making a fool of himself/herself.

Jesus was also such an optimistic and realistic person. He must have had a very good insight into human nature and He could easily see when people acted with hidden agendas. Although He made a number of predictions about the future regarding calamities and tribulations in his prophetic sermon and warned the faithful that they must expect persecution and suffering He was generally an optimist. He had great trust in his Father in heaven and, therefore, He continuously did good to people in need.

Self-confidence

There also is self-confidence. This is to a certain extent related to self-knowledge. The person with self-confidence knows that he can weather any number of storms in his life, that he will be able to solve problems in his life and that he will be able to handle most situations. This type of person is self-sufficient and does not need to rely constantly on other people to help him. This is somebody who can act independently and stand on his own feet.

There are people with a so-called dependent personality disorder. They constantly seek the approval and assistance of others. They do not see their way clear to do anything on their own and others must push them to achieve something. The adult and balanced person does not need this. He is able to tackle challenges, to take initiative and to remain standing when the storms of life threaten to blow him over.

Throughout the Gospels it becomes clear that Jesus acted with self-confidence and without fear. He did not shy away from anybody, although there were enough people who tried to obstruct Him. One can hardly think of a better example of self-confidence. Please note that self-confidence must not be confused with haughtiness, arrogance or aggression. Although Jesus demonstrated much self-confidence He never became haughty or arrogant. He always acted with love and thoughtfulness.

Empathy

One cannot forget empathy. That means that you are able to imagine yourself in the situation and feelings of somebody else. You are able to interpret the feelings of others accurately. You can discern whether they are frustrated, angry, sad, disappointed, depressed or afraid. And then you can understand how that person feels. You know how it must feel to be standing in that person’s shoes. Paul wrote in Rom 12:15 – “Take part in the joy of those who are glad, and in the grief of those who are sorrowing.”

One can be sure that Jesus had this characteristic of empathy. He understood the feelings of others. He know when people were feeling lonely, sad, rejected or guilty – and then He had fitting words for that person. That is why the crowds followed Him and wanted to hear every word from his lips. They must have felt that He was somebody who understood them in their poverty and suffering, who had a message for them in their situation of oppression, despair and neediness.

Compassion

The seventh quality is the quality of compassion. This is something akin to empathy because it is the action that follows empathy. Somebody who really has empathy with others will inevitably also have compassion and that means that he also something about that person’s situation.

If you have compassion you are willing to make your time and energy available to others – people who have some or urgent need or who cannot help themselves. The person with compassion is able to reach out to others, take their hands and help to find solutions for their problems and pains.

This was, without doubt, one of Jesus’ characteristics. We read in the Gospels of three aspects of his life. The Gospels devote much space to his trial and death on the cross. His death and his resurrection from the climax of each of the four Gospels. In the second place, the Gospels devoted much attention to his sermons and stories.

And in the third place, we are informed of how He did good to others – often only by offering his attention and friendship to vulnerable people such as women, children, the sick, cripples and tax collectors. He had time for those were oppressed and neglected or were regarded as outcasts. On occasion, He even performed miracles to help people in their need. He healed the sick, fed the hungry, restored sight to the blind and brought to life the dead. One cannot think of a better example of somebody who had compassion than Jesus.

Humour

The balanced and happy person also has a sense of humour. This is the ability to laugh at yourself and at life in general. It is healthy to laugh because it helps you to forget your stresses and worries. If you can laugh at yourself and your troubles these problems all of a sudden do not look so serious and unmanageable anymore.

Few people realize it, but Jesus had a wonderful sense of humour and He often told jokes. Unfortunately, we do not always recognise his jokes for what they are.

It may be good to repeat two of his jokes. He told the story of this man who wanted to remove the splinter from the eye of his brother while failing to realize that he had a big log in his own eye (Matt 7: 3 – 5). This was, of course, greatly exaggerated. Please imagine a man with a huge log lodged in his eye! And He also said that it is easier for a camel to climb through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven. Try and imagine how big a camel is and how small the eye of a needle is and you will realize that Jesus also utilized an absurd example in this instance (Matt 19:24). We can be sure that his audience must have laughed out loud.

Fixed philosophy of life

A fixed philosophy of life is the last quality of somebody with good psychological functioning. Each of us has the need to discover meaning in life. We want to know: Where do I fit in? What is the goal of my life? What does God expect from me? How must I understand life? How must I understand all the calamities and accidents that torture me? How must I understand and overcome setbacks and disappointments?

The need to discover meaning in life is surely the deepest need in any person’s existence. If something makes sense it seems to be easier to handle. We as Christians believe that we can find answers to all these questions in the Word of God.

Every one of us also has the need to know what is right and wrong, as well as what is good and bad. The Lord gave each of us a conscience and the adult and balanced person does not like to violate his conscience by being guilty of unacceptable, ugly or bad behaviour. We also believe that we find clear instructions for our behaviour in the Bible – for instance, in the Ten Commandments and in Jesus’ sermon on the mount. But each of us has received a conscience, which reminds us of what is good and bad or right and wrong. The Lord has, after all, written his law in the hearts and minds of people (Rom 2: 14 – 16).

In other words, the adult, normal and balanced individual has discovered meaning in life and he has an explanation of how things work in creation. That person also knows which behaviours are acceptable or unacceptable and he lives according to the dictates of his conscience. He, therefore, has a clear philosophy of life.

And one can also see these attributes in the life of Jesus. It has already been mentioned that large parts of the Gospels are devoted to his sermons and stories – and also his jokes! His stories dealt with everyday events, or situations that his audience would immediately have recognized as part of their world. But He did not tell these stories only to entertain people. Every story, parable and joke had a clear spiritual message and made something clear something about God and his kingdom.

On other occasions, Jesus delivered more abstract sermons and explained certain important life principles – including his sermon on the mount and his prophetic sermon. It is, therefore, clear that Jesus had a set of clear convictions. We must remember that He was a Jew and that He enjoyed a Jewish upbringing and education. He knew the Old Testament very well and He conveyed its message in a fresh and original way to his audience. Jesus spoke a lot about the kingdom of God. That means that we have to acknowledge God as the king in our lives.

We cannot go wrong if we adopt the philosophy of life that Jesus taught.

Freedom and Responsibility

It is possible to summarise these nine qualities of a person with good psychological health with two words: freedom and responsibility.

The free person who has control over his life and who knows where he is headed in life is also a person with a sense of responsibility. Although every one of us experiences the influences of a variety of factors in his life and he in confronted by situations over which he has little or no control, he stays a being with freedom of choice. He can make decisions and make choices – although his needs, emotions and relationships, of course, also have an influence on these choices and decisions. His principles will also have an influence and that sets him apart as a responsible being that is open to the spiritual dimensions in life.