Helping People Who Self-Harm

Learning that someone you care about self-harms can be very upsetting. However, there are many ways to offer support and make a difference.

Self-harm is more common than many realise. It's estimated that about 2% of people self-harm, with higher rates in young adults and teenagers. Understanding this can help us see that we're not alone in facing this challenge.

Why Do People Self-Harm?

Self-harm is often misunderstood. It’s not just about seeking attention or being dramatic. For many, it's a way to cope with overwhelming emotions or stress. It might start as a way to distract from emotional pain, but it can quickly become a habit. People who self-harm might be dealing with issues like anxiety, depression, trauma, or a sense of helplessness.

Recognising the Signs

It can be hard to spot self-harm because those who do it often try to hide their injuries. Look for signs like wearing long sleeves in hot weather, unexplained bruises or cuts, or avoiding social situations. Knowing these signs can help you offer support sooner.

How to Offer Support

The best way to support someone who self-harms is by listening and showing empathy. Start with light conversations and slowly move to deeper topics. Building trust and showing that you’re there to listen without judgment is important. Avoid ultimatums or forcing them to stop, which can push them away.

Recovery from self-harm takes time, especially if it's been a long-term habit. It's about more than just stopping the self-harm; it's also about dealing with the emotional issues behind it.

Alternatives to Self-Harm

While professional help is important, suggesting alternative coping strategies can be useful. This could be anything that helps them feel without causing harm, like holding ice cubes, using an elastic band on the wrist, or other less harmful methods. These alternatives can give a similar sensation to self-harming but are safer.

Seeking Professional Help

It's crucial to encourage seeking professional help . Therapists who specialize in self-harm can provide crucial support and strategies tailored to individual needs. Having a list of resources or contacts for mental health services to share with your loved one is helpful. This step can be a turning point in their journey towards healing.

Understanding and Patience

Understanding and patience are key. It's important to remember that recovery is a process, not a one-time event. Be patient and remind your loved one that you are there for them, no matter how long it takes. Celebrate small victories and progress, no matter how minor they may seem.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive environment involves more than just conversations. It's about being present, showing unconditional love, and reinforcing the person’s worth. Make sure they feel safe and understood without fear of judgment. A supportive environment can make a significant difference in their healing process.

A Journey of Healing

Healing from self-harm is a journey. It involves learning new ways to cope with emotional distress, addressing underlying issues, and building resilience. Each person's journey is unique, and what works for one might not work for another. It's about finding what helps them cope healthily and supporting them through their journey.

Encouraging Healthy Communication

Healthy communication is vital. Encourage open discussions about feelings and experiences, but respect their boundaries. If they're not ready to talk, let them know you're there when they are. Sometimes, knowing someone is willing to listen without judgment can be incredibly comforting.

Educating Yourself and Others

Educate yourself about self-harm. The more you understand, the better you can support your loved one. Educating others in your circle is also helpful in creating a broader support network. Misconceptions about self-harm are common, and educating others can lead to a more understanding and supportive environment.

Remember, your support can make a huge difference. It’s about being there, showing empathy, and offering help without judgment. Self-harm can be a complex issue, but with love, support, and professional guidance, it's possible to overcome it.

What Does Science Say?

Studies indicate a significant increase in self-harm behaviours in adolescents, with hospital admissions rising and the average age of those engaging in self-harm becoming younger. Factors such as the overuse of mobile phones, stress in learning environments, and strained relationships with parents have been linked to these increases. Self-harm is a harmful way of coping with emotional distress, often hidden due to feelings of shame or guilt. Psychotherapy is highlighted as an effective treatment to help people find healthier coping mechanisms ( source )​.

The average age for starting self-harm is around 13, and research shows that females are more likely to self-harm than males. The most common reason cited for self-harm is to find relief from overwhelming thoughts or feelings. Many who self-harm also suffer from other mental health conditions, with depression, personality disorders, and substance use disorders being risk factors.

Being a victim of cyberbullying significantly increases the risk of self-injury. Mindfulness can act as a buffer against the effects of cyberbullying, suggesting the need for interventions that reduce emotional reactivity and enhance mindfulness in youth. Preventative efforts are crucial and should start as early as puberty, with a focus on helping adolescents manage negative emotions and developing support systems among peer groups.

These scientific findings underscore the complexity of self-harm and the necessity of a multifaceted approach in treatment and prevention. Addressing the underlying emotional and mental health issues, understanding the demographic factors, and acknowledging the impact of external stressors like cyberbullying are key in effectively supporting individuals who self-harm.

Key Takeaways

• Prevalence and Causes: Self-harm is more common than many realize, especially among youth and young adults, and often stems from emotional distress, mental health issues, and external stressors like cyberbullying.
• Recognizing Signs: Identifying signs of self-harm early, such as unexplained injuries or behavioural changes, is crucial for timely intervention and support.
• Support Strategies: Effective support includes open, non-judgmental communication, understanding the individual's struggles, and suggesting healthier coping strategies.
• Importance of Professional Help: Seeking professional help, like psychotherapy, is vital for addressing underlying emotional and mental health issues related to self-harm.
• Recovery and Hope: Recovery from self-harm is a gradual process, but with the right support, understanding, and professional guidance, individuals can overcome the urge to self-harm and develop more effective ways to handle emotional distress.