Double death at Novena condo
A few years ago, in a Singapore news paper, I read of a 46-year-old man that fell to his death from a Novena Suites condominium block here in Singapore. At the same time, a 44-year-old woman believed to be the man’s wife was found dead in a residential unit within the same block. Every time I read this already too frequent news from around the world, where a husband kills his wife, sometimes his wife and himself, and in some other cases his wife, his children and himself, my heart breaks. I feel distressed because I know how immense the tragedy is for that family, and I also feel frustrated because I know a better alternative is available.
More education is needed in marriage. I am not sure what the real reason was that led this couple to death, and I am not making any speculation for those cases I read about, but in many cases, there is too much pain in the marriage. Pain brings anger, jealousy, resentment, solitude, depression, desperation, separation and divorce.
When a marriage is in serious trouble is like cancer, it can destroy everything, but if it is diagnosed in time, in many cases, it can be cured; you are not the only one facing the challenge!
We need to acquire more knowledge and skills in the business of marriage because we don’t know all, and there is a lot we need to learn. The real work needs to be done before getting in trouble, not after, because too often it is too late. And let me tell you, very often, even couple counselling doesn’t work. It could be that the heart of one or both partners is already too dry. There may be too much resentment and anger. Or, sometimes another alternative; a new partner on the horizon seems like a better deal. Trust and the willingness to fight for it, endure, and find a way out, is gone. Partners are unhappy, and daily life becomes meaningless; a multitude of negative emotions takes over and they feel trapped and in constant pain.
For many, asking for help is also a problem because of the stigma surrounding this area. Many people fear that others will hear about their problems. In addition, people feel shame because they believe they are the only ones facing the problem, without realising that more than 50% of the world married population is consistently divorcing and I'm guessing another 30% is struggling.
Waiting does not help improve your marriage! Instead, successful couples develop through a process of self-study, education, trust, respect, commitment, love, effective communication, forgiveness and sustained healthy intimacy.
Love is not only a feeling; it’s a work in progress!
Leonardo Talpo | Marriage / Relationship Therapist
Leonardo is a qualified Counsellor, based in Singapore, Singapore.
With a commitment to mental health, Mr Talpo provides services in English and Italian, including Counselling (General), Counselling (Marriage) and Relationship Counselling.
Mr Talpo has expertise in .
Click here to schedule a session with Mr Talpo.
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TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
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