DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: FACT FILE FOR NIGERIA

I am currently working on a presentation on domestic violence. As part of my research on the Nigeria fact file, I stumbled upon a nationwide research poll before Covid 19 that revealed that about 54% of Nigerians have suffered a form of domestic violence or know someone that has experienced domestic violence in their homes. One out of every three admitted to being a victim of domestic violence, and that blew me away. Gosh… is this for real. Are things that bad...

I know domestic violence is on the rise globally, especially after Covid 19 but to discover that even before Covid, one out of every three Nigerians reported having experienced or currently experiencing domestic violence is shocking for me. I don’t know about you, though. 95% of Domestic Violence perpetrators are male, while 84% of the victims were women and children… Wowww

However, I am also conscious that this data would be much higher than this, considering that many people do not know the breadth of domestic violence. When asked in the opinion poll, the apparent physical, sexual and perhaps emotional domestic violence would most likely come to mind. Many do not realize that many things seen as usual are actually domestic violence.

Post-Covid 19, not surprisingly, 48% of Nigerian women experienced some form of violence against them. This data is so huge I am almost in denial of the fact file. For real ??!!!

What disheartens me the most, however, is the fact that most of the victims rarely take any action about their cases and the reasons they gave included “to avoid stigmatization”, “emotional attachment to their spouses and partners”, and “fear of threat or insecurity”.

Come to think of it, why should I be so surprised when we live in a patriarchal system in which it’s a so-called man’s world? The victim usually gets blamed even when they get the courage to speak out loud, while the perpetrator goes scout free.

Someone close to me shared her personal experience of which her ex-husband would get angry with her and beat her mercilessly, then carry a blade to tear her up for her so-called misbehaviour and sometimes lock her out of the house. She never publicly complained for fear of any backlash. The family always supported the man when he went complaining. They never knew the depth of the violence against her until the couple separated. She then dared to tell her cousin all about her experience.

Even though some families know the depth of her horrible experience, people still blame her for the divorce.

It’s worthy of note here, however, that the responsibility for violence without a doubt belongs to the abuser and by no means is it the victims’ fault. No one deserves abuse of any sort.

Domestic violence includes

1. Physical Abuse, e.g. slapping, kicking, hitting, shoving, punching, scratching, acid baths etc.,

2. Sexual Abuse, e.g. rape, sexual harassment, insisting on perverse sexual conduct, exposing a partner's body to friends, secretly recording a sexual encounter etc

3. Emotional and Psychological Abuse, e.g. verbal abuse, name-calling, blaming, gaslighting, bullying, scapegoating etc

4. Economic Abuse, e.g. Denied or restricted access to money, Having to account for every kobo, paying off debts accrued by their partner, denied access to bank accounts, denied decision-making rights regarding family finances etc.

5. Spiritual Abuse e.g. The abuser using scripture or beliefs to humiliate or embarrass you, using beliefs or the scripture to make the victim feel pressured or obligated to do things against their will, the abuser using the victims’ spiritual aspirations as a means of attack, throwing scripture at the victim, bombing the partner with accusations that the partner isn’t complying with the spiritual values that the partner holds dear etc.

Many individuals experience a mix of these types of abuse, which makes things complex. Domestic violence transcends tribe, age, and socioeconomic boundaries. Victims of domestic violence are diverse. They are educated, uneducated, poor middle class, wealthy and from every ethnic origin or religious orientation.

Domestic violence has severe short-term and long-term consequences. Domestic violence causes trauma responses in victims. Effects on the victims include poor physical and mental health such as sleep problems, chronic health issues such as hypertension and diabetes, headaches, chronic pain, depression, anxiety, PTSD, homelessness, shame, drug abuse, suicide etc. The ultimate consequence of domestic violence is physical disability and death. Domestic and family violence is the leading cause of death, illness and disability for women under 45. The consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and do genuinely last a lifetime.

Children exposed to (see/hear/feel their parent or loved one experience) domestic violence generally show cognitive functioning, behavioural and emotional problems. The exposure alters brain chemistry and causes trauma response. It weakens their coping skills and makes them prone to drug abuse, anxiety, depression, delinquency, conduct problems, academic problems, low self-esteem, hyperactivity etc.

Suppose all of these consequences are not enough to begin advocacy to stop this uprise in domestic violence. In that case, I don’t know what will!

Do you relate to any of the forms of abuse above? Feel free to drop an anonymous comment on the site. Let us remove the silence from Domestic abuse.