The Power of Belief: Challenging the Stories We Tell Ourselves

“We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.” - Anaïs Nin

The Power of Our Beliefs

Beliefs are ideas we've decided are true. We’ve decided that they represent reality. And so they become our reality. They are the foundation for how we understand and respond to the world around us and they shape how we feel about ourselves, about our challenges and about others. They create a self-fulfilling prophecy: we think something is true, we act based on that truth, and then we prove it to ourselves over and over (and over) again.

Beliefs → thoughts → feelings → behaviours → results.

But here's the catch: just because we believe something, doesn’t mean it's true. And that’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it? Beliefs don’t have to be “true” to shape our reality. They just have to be believed. What is true, however, is that every belief we hold has a consequence. It either helps us grow and supports our dreams or it works against us, limiting us, keeping us stuck and preventing us from fulfilling our potential.

Some beliefs are incredibly empowering: “I am capable” or “I am worthy of love and success”. But other recurring beliefs, often those we don’t even recognise within, can be limiting and destructive: “I’ll never be good enough”, “No one really cares whether I am alive” or “I’ll never be loved”. Often, these beliefs become so engrained in us that we don’t even question them anymore. And yet some of these beliefs might not even align with, be relevant, to who you are today.

If the way we see the world is so coloured by our beliefs, if what we tell ourselves about our experiences is so crucial in shaping our experiences, and changing them could bring real transformation to our lives, then why are we not being taught to spend more time reflecting on and questioning our beliefs?! How often do we pause to question those beliefs? How often do we stop and say, “Is this belief still serving me?” or “Does it contribute to me being a happier or healthier human?”.

Now what?: What to Do with Your Beliefs

This might lead you to the following thoughts: But what on earth do I choose to believe then?! How do I know what is real or not?! Before you start pulling out tufts of hair in frustration, let me just say: Yes, I know that this can feel confusing! Having beliefs saves us a lot of decision-making time and when aligned with our core values, they can be a really positive guiding force. I’m definitely NOT saying you need to throw out all your beliefs or question them all! But a good place to start is with a belief that keeps showing up and is causing you suffering, dis-ease, real conflict or confusion. A belief that brings to the surface that nagging, familiar, negative voice and is generally accompanied by really intense and unpleasant emotions. If a belief repeatedly leads you to believe that you're not good enough, are weak or are broken, is it really useful to hold onto it?

If these words resonate with you, it might be time to pause and consider: What beliefs do you hold about yourself or others that might be limiting your growth?

Placing a Belief in Doubt

Something I find really useful in my practice is knowing that you can choose to put a belief in doubt. Doubting your beliefs doesn’t mean rejecting them entirely. It means giving yourself space to explore them. It’s about putting a belief on hold, looking at it from a new angle, and asking: Is this still true for me?

The next step is finding that nurturing, empathetic and compassionate internal voice that can support you. Changing our beliefs and finding more useful, positive or compassionate messages for yourself is so important that I dedicate a whole section of my website to “Love Notes”, where my clients can find more supportive and beneficial beliefs that resonate with them and help to replace those negative internal voices.

This transformation isn’t easy. If it was, we would all be doing it and I wouldn’t be talking about this here. The process requires connecting with yourself and learning to regulate your emotions too, as beliefs are generally accompanied by a wave of emotion that can feel painful or mobilise your entire body to move into action. Sitting with your mind and your emotions is tough, but it is a skill that you can learn in therapy. I know this to be true. I’ve experienced it myself and seen it happen in clients. With awareness, breath and emotional support and guidance in therapy, you can learn to sit with your beliefs and emotions and develop the resources to manage them, without rejecting, fighting or running from them. When you stop fighting or running and examine them, you’ll see that they no longer seem so threatening and no longer hold so much power over you.

Emotional Support

As a therapeutic counselor, my role is to help you identify and explore these beliefs in a safe and supportive space, to challenge the beliefs that hold you back and replace them with those that support you. If this resonates with you, and you’re ready to begin examining the beliefs that may be limiting your emotional wellbeing, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can explore the powerful impact that your beliefs have on your life and begin the process of change.

About the Author

My name is Danielle. I am a therapeutic counsellor from South Africa living abroad, specialising in emotional support for expats and foreigners living away from home and in other cultures. I create a safe, transformative space where my clients can get to know themselves deeply, reconnect with themselves, confront their obstacles, experience change and authenticity, and develop emotional tools and resources to manage stress and navigate the challenges of today’s often imbalanced and unhealthy world. Visit my website at therapyspain.com for more insights and resources.

If you’d like to know more about my Love Notes project - uplifting messages that can keep us on track and connected in moments of suffering and doubt - take a look at the section on my website or send me a message and I'll point you that way.

With love, Danielle