Debunking a Few Common Myths About Anger

Anger is a faithful companion in our daily life frustrations. It’s not only an emotion but an alarm system that blares when our boundaries are crossed, or we experience unfair treatment. It’s a natural phenomenon, like laughter at a joke or tears while watching a heartbreaking movie. But unlike other emotions, anger often gets a negative reputation when mishandled.

Considering the tackling of anger with finesse, some misconceptions need to be discussed. Let's look at the truth behind anger and discuss a few common myths about anger that transform this righteous force into a villain in the public eye. Here are some of them.

Myth #1: You can’t alter the way you express anger.

A common myth is that anger expression is inherited and unchangeable. However, our facial expressions and nervous response are inherited, but the response (behaviour) is learned, and unhealthy behaviours can be unlearned and replaced with healthy behaviours. Persistent practice to stay calm is required.

Myth #2: Anger inevitably results in aggression.

Aggression is not the only way to express anger; assertiveness is the ultimate key. One can constructively control anger's spiraling by learning assertiveness skills, challenging irrational thinking, and developing “positive self-talk.”

Myth #3: Being aggressive is a must to achieve your goals.

People often mislead aggression with assertiveness. Aggression includes dominating, blaming, and harming others emotionally and physically, while assertiveness aims to win the situation while keeping the environment hostile and blame-free.

Myth #4: Expressing anger is consistently beneficial.

For many years, it has been a popular opinion that channelling anger through screaming, hitting a pillow, or throwing/breaking things safely is desirable. Recent research demonstrates that expressing anger through aggressive behaviours will strengthen anger instead of diminish it.

Myth #5: Releasing anger alleviates one's anxiety.

Those who are victims of violence often trade anxiety with anger as a coping mechanism. It does reduce anxiety but in a destructive way. Anxiety or fear can only be overcome by facing it.

Myth #6: Only saints or weaklings suppress their anger.

This myth arises from a black-and-white thinking error. People often believe that only those who are weak, hopeless, or have a glorified soul can suppress their anger, but in reality, in order to deal with situations, one must be firm and in control, or, in other words, assertive.

References

Maunder, D. L., Cameron, L., & Charlton, F. (2023). Controlling anger. Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust.

Reilly, P. M., Shopshire, M. S., Durazzo, T. C., & Campbell, T. A. (2019). Anger Management for Substance Use Disorder and Mental Health Clients: Participant Workbook. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.