Shay Rees-Davies, BSc

Sexologist

Verified

“Let’s be honest: talking about sex, intimacy, and how that all impacts and is impacted by our thoughts, our biology, our cultural and religious upbringing, and the society we live in can feel rather complicated! It is my greatest privilege to help you reclaim your sexuality and relationships in the context of your own lived experience through compassionate enquiry and curious exploration. ”

About Me

I am a Sexologist and Certified TRE Provider based on the beautiful South Coast of KZN in South Africa, working with clients both locally and internationally. I am also a yoga instructor, a scuba diver, a volunteer, a sister, a daughter, a wife, a woman—and above all, a human being. My life has been a full and interesting journey so far. Having had the privilege of living and working in many different communities and countries all over the world, I am deeply grateful to have experienced diverse cultures and ways of life. The human condition—what we do, when we do it, how we do it, and why—fascinates me. This curiosity forms the foundation not only of my work, but of my entire life. I firmly believe that everything must be considered within the context of the situation and your own particular lived experience. There is no template for being human. While labels can be deeply important for finding a sense of belonging and articulating our needs and wants, I am a big fan of creating your own label. Together, we work on learning how to embrace and communicate your personal truth, instead of feeling "stuffed in a box."

Approach

My approach is built on a few core pillars: Understanding the role of human physiology: We cannot separate our psychology from our biology. Whether you are dealing with physical pain (like vaginismus), functioning difficulties (like erectile dysfunction), performance anxiety, trauma, or the impact of a chronic illness, we look at how your nervous system and body are responding. Practical skills and active collaboration: Therapy with me is a team effort. We will work together collaboratively, and you will leave sessions with real, actionable tools, reflections, or "homework" to try out in your day-to-day life. Integrating mind and body: I blend traditional talk therapy with somatic tools, including TRE (Tension, Stress, and Trauma Releasing Exercises). By using both "top-down" (mind) and "bottom-up" (body) solutions, we work to help your body actually feel the safety your mind is striving for. Honoring your unique timeline: There is no "one size fits all" pacing here. I understand that some things can be shifted or resolved in a single session with the right information, while other deep-seated patterns, relationship crises, or traumas require a longer, gentler journey. We move at a pace that respects your process.

Contact Shay

Ask a quick question or arrange a time to meet.

Basic Information

Scottburgh, South Africa

In-person & Online

Services

Psychosomatic Support for: Sexual shame (associated with religious indoctrination, substance abuse, compulsive/risky sexual behavior) Performance Anxiety Sexual Dysfunction and Pain Disorders "Taboo"/A-typical Sexual Preferences & Lifestyle Compulsive Sexual Behaviors Relationship Conflict Resolution Navigating Perimenopause Sexual Trauma Exploring Sexual Identity (including sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, gender roles) Stress & Anxiety Forensic Reporting for RAF cases (South Africa only) Facilitation of workshops (corporate & private)

Services Offered:

Psycho-Legal
Psychological assessment and expert reporting for court proceedings, legal disputes, or regulatory matters.
Advocacy
Services that help individuals navigate healthcare, education, or social systems to ensure their mental health needs are recognised and met.
Learn more about Advocacy
Conflict Management
Structured approaches to resolving disputes and improving communication between people in conflict, whether in relationships, families, or workplaces.
Counseling
A form of talk therapy providing a safe, confidential space to explore feelings, thoughts, and behaviours with a trained professional.
Learn more about Counseling
Trauma Counseling
Counselling specifically for people affected by traumatic events, focused on processing what happened and reducing symptoms like flashbacks and hypervigilance.
Learn more about Trauma Counseling
Sex Therapy
Specialised therapy addressing sexual concerns such as low desire, performance anxiety, pain during sex, or mismatched needs between partners.
Learn more about Sex Therapy
Somatic Psychotherapy
A form of therapy focused on the connection between mind and body, using body awareness and movement to release held tension, trauma, and emotion.
Online Therapy
Therapy sessions conducted over video call, phone, or secure messaging, using the same professional methods delivered remotely.
Learn more about Online Therapy
Personal Development
The ongoing process of self-awareness, self-improvement, and reaching one's potential, pursued not because something is wrong but to live more fully.

Works With:

Adults
Communities
Couples
Organisations

Area of Expertise

Scope of Practice:

Anger
An intense emotional response to perceived threat, injustice, or frustration that, when persistent or uncontrolled, can damage relationships and well-being.
Learn more about Anger
LGBTQI+ Support
The unique psychological experiences of LGBTQI+ individuals, including identity exploration, coming out, discrimination, minority stress, and relationship dynamics.
Relationship Counseling
Counselling for couples or partners focused on improving communication, rebuilding trust, and strengthening emotional connection.
Trauma
The lasting psychological impact of deeply distressing events, such as violence, abuse, accidents, or disasters, that overwhelm a person's ability to cope.
Learn more about Trauma
Shame
A deep, painful emotion involving the belief that one is fundamentally flawed or unworthy, which can affect self-perception and relationships.
Learn more about Shame
Anxiety
Persistent worry, nervousness, or fear that is disproportionate to the situation and interferes with daily functioning.
Learn more about Anxiety
Intimacy Issues
Difficulties with emotional or physical closeness in relationships, including fear of vulnerability, avoidance of connection, or sexual concerns.
Learn more about Intimacy Issues
Sex Addiction
A pattern of compulsive sexual behaviour that feels out of control and causes harm to one's relationships, work, or well-being.
Pornography or Sexual Behaviour Concerns
Sexual behaviours, including pornography use, that feel compulsive, out of control, or are causing distress or harm to oneself or relationships.
Relocation / Expat
The psychological challenges of moving to a new country or city, including loneliness, culture shock, identity shifts, and loss of social support.
Learn more about Relocation / Expat