Why the “No Sex Before Marriage” Parenting Strategy Won’t Work?

Often parents of teenagers are simply not ready to meet their awakened sexuality, they don’t know what to do with it and how to control it.

And there is a dangerous temptation to “postpone” all issues related to sex at least until the age of 18, or better - before the wedding, in the hope that during this time, the child will grow up, smarter and somehow figure it out on his own.

This is what a strategy for sexual education limited to abstinence looks like.

And this is a bad strategy.

For 7 years, a large-scale experiment was conducted in the United States, during which two groups of teenagers were studied: some received a complete sexual education, and others studied in schools where they were taught that sex was only permissible in marriage.

Supporting the latter strategy is the fact that abstinence is the only 100% protection against unwanted pregnancy and STDs.

But the abstinence propaganda strategy did not produce the desired effect. The number of pregnancies, STDs and just teenagers who have already experienced sex in practice turned out to be comparable to the group that received a full education.

Why is that?

Overcoming teenage hypersexuality is not easy. It's a biological fact that you can't just close your eyes to and pretend it doesn't exist.

With an abstinence strategy, teens are missing out on critical information about safer sex practices. Often the facts are presented in a distorted form, which creates an incorrect picture of the world.

Any fear weakens over time, and the desire of adolescents to separate from their parents and search for themselves is the same biological fact as adolescent hypersexuality.

That's why the American Academy of Pediatrics, the WHO, the American Public Health Association, and dozens of other organizations are urging parents and schools to choose a full-fledged sexuality education over an emphasis on abstinence strategies.

Whether a teenager will have sex or not depends on his character, environment, personal beliefs, and dozens of other factors that you cannot influence.

But then you can give him full information on how to make your sex life safe.

What strategy do you support?