Why Do Men Feel It Is God-Damn Hard to Share Their Feelings to Women?

Disclaimer: As humans, we are busy talking about finances, family, religion, social life, activities and love. But for girls, have you ever wondered how your boyfriend went through hell to tell you what they felt at the start? I suggest that women readers sit back, relax and laugh at this one as you try to backtrack the beginning of your solid relationships with your partners. After all, these are just my opinionated thoughts. Men, this is your chance to take a good look at where you are now and improve! Good luck and enjoy reading!

The Problem

“What kind of personality does your girl have? Do you feel that you are being loved? What was your approach? What was your solution to that feeling of incapability to speak whenever you are in front of the woman you have feelings for?” – One way or another, these are some of the questions of those guys who have trouble approaching the girls they want to be with. Let us assume that these guys are real with their intentions and that they are not the losers in our society. Nevertheless, being real and good does not make them advantageous over those who have bad intentions!

How does it feel to confide a top-class secret to a few people who you think can help you with the girl you have feelings for? Does it feel like you can blabber about it for a day? And how did it feel like when you told her your feelings? Did you flunk out? Did you succeed? The sure thing is that this is a 50 – 50 wager. It is either winner takes all, or losers go home. What a bargain!

While it is natural for guys to start things off, it is also natural for guys to wobble a bit with their “strategies”. Men are naturally feeble-minded when it comes to these kinds of things. Every guy has his own approach. But a wrong approach may mean the end of the game for these guys if they mess up, even for once! It is just that men always do not get it right the first time, but they need to!

We know that men, in general, are not good at expressing their emotions. But we also know that men like to keep his head above water, and that he will do everything to be successful. But now, let’s see why men are like kids whenever they are to reveal the truth about their emotions to the love of their lives:

1) The Concoction of Emotions

Have you ever tried mixing chemicals in your chemistry class? This is what happens to men – anxiety, fear, excitement and expectation all swell upon them. So much for emotions, this will surely result in a blow-up if this does not get the attention it needs! Men tend to be crazy about their science-backed emotions, and the professors are not really pleased with all the breakages in the laboratory! Bam!

2) The “First Impression” Scheme

“This guy looks cute.”, “This guy is the one I want to be with.” or “I dislike this guy because he is wearing an average shirt.”  It is a normal routine for humans in general to have their first impressions expressed. We are very much entitled to our impressions, but is this really a good basis whether we let a guy express himself or not? Surely not! There is so much more than just a simple impression!

3) The Great Wall of China

We all know that the Great Wall of China is an impenetrable wall made for defence against colonizers before. For men, the woman they like is a fortress as high and as tricky as the Great Wall – impenetrable indeed! A monumental effort is first needed for men to climb it up, but can they guess what lies at the other side of the wall if they are successful climbing it?

4) The First Law of Thermodynamics

It was stated by the First Law of Thermodynamics that energy is constant, and that it cannot be created or destroyed. Well, it looks like this law is not applicable to this problem. While men are busy creating opportunities to approach their women, women in return either inadvertently or consciously destroy these chances. Does this mean that it is a highly structured equation just for women?

5) The Checklist Regarding Job Application: Boyfriend

Ever been to one job interview and application? While some women can be lenient with their bullet-type checklist, others can be very detailed with it. For men, saying their feelings may feel like applying for their dream job – and their employers are very keen on quality applicants. Men should get past a long list of job qualifications before being hired as a “boyfriend”. As to what benefits await them, they do not even have the slightest idea!

6) The Bankruptcy of Investments

Investors love it when their investment medium is going nuts in its performance. This means a higher passive income. For men, they love it when the women they like reciprocate the feelings back. The thing is – investments are not always easy for investors since the market and the economy fluctuate. Continuing the analogy, this also means that men can lose all their invested sleepless nights planning for that one day, the building blocks of pure emotions and the golden time they can never get back!

7) The 80% - 20%

Humans are natural communicators, and communication is largely known to be expressed through speaking. Social psychologists say otherwise! Only about 20% of the whole communication process is conveyed through words, while the other 80% is entirely non-verbal – gestures, facial expressions, emotions, timbre and audibleness of voice, shaking hands, eye contact, fashion. Women tend to say that they are open to the truths, but do they send men the right signals to capitalize?

8) The Mischievous in Disguise

If I, the author, will be criticized in this article, I think I would be because of this next one.

Women like to keep their options open. They take time picking the best guys. But there are times wherein women still lose because of a wrong pick. Why? It is because there are bad guys in the selection process – and often, these guys win the hearts of the women because of their shady façade! They slip past critical criteria and they leave the good guys in the dust. The good guys lose all the fighting chances they need to win! And believe it or not – this is the reason why girls have this feeling of general animosity towards guys – because they equate all the guys to be bad and deceiving!

9) The “Yes Man” and the “No Woman”

Guys like to please their girls in ways that they can. They make it a point that they can be seen and that they are given attention. Girls, in return, dislike being given this sort of “experimental treatment” because they feel like they are being tested. Women tend to say “no” to men if they feel like they will be jeopardizing something. Men in return, are slaves to their conscience, so they say “yes” at all the words of their dream woman. If the girl says “Leave me alone. Do not approach me again.”, this is undoubtedly an Earth-Is-Falling-Down scenario, but hey, men will accept it as they mean it!

10) The Game

Being in a relationship is like playing a game. The bad guys like to play it sleazy and easy, while the honest ones always think of the ethically and morally correct ways to approach women. Women are more cunning than men feel about them. Women can be deadlier on being “sleazy and easy” so that they can bring down these bad guys. The bad thing about this is: they also bring down the honest ones, because they are far too advanced in thinking about what steps guys undertake. It is a bloodbath out here!

11) The Happily-Ever-After

The general girl population, if asked about how they would want their debut to be, they want it to be a great night – and by great night means they would be or be treated like princesses. This is very linear with finding their partner. They want the perfect prince charming a.k.a. the knight-in-shining-armour, along with all their sidekick friends and supportive parents, to be there in the delivery of the finishing kiss. A fantastic fairytale indeed. But, even an astronaut trying to reach the stars with his hands will tell you that this idea is too far-fetched and idealistic. These guys are on a lower level than that of princes, but we do still hope for them to appear, yes?

12) The Dine-in, Take-out

Eating out is a daily thing. We order meals that we think can satisfy our cravings and hunger. It is the same for many girls – they try to embed all the things they want their food to have: no lettuces, no mayonnaise, no bones but still, yummy, cheap and can make them full. Remember that meals may have similarities, but they have varying differences as well, and these differences are their distinct characteristics! Men can only offer a few things which are unique to themselves which is not present in other guys. Whether he is Agnostic, 100 kilos, fair-skinned, hairy, boastful, intelligent, rich, with a sense of humour, it all boils down to weighing what’s important, and what’s the point on being involved in things like this, just like how you eat your favourite meal.

The Conclusion

Men and women coexist despite the pipeline-like complications and differences between them. Approaching a woman because a man like her is just one of the many social things that happens every day. Men should be more confident in accepting who they are and what they are capable of. Moreover, they should accept that they cannot please everyone. They need not change themselves to be accepted.

Women, in return, should be a bit more of a risk-taker to find out who the good and the bad guys are. They should not be too picky and hasty with all the guys they meet. It takes a series of failures for things to work. They should let these guys express themselves and just tell them how they feel in return after some time, so that both can move and live the lives that they are destined to live.