Why Boys Flunk Out in Relationships? Why Men Do Not?
We are all social beings. We cannot live without the company of somebody. We would love to meet someone interesting – whether we share the same passion with them, we share the same ideologies and profession, or simply because we clicked.
We are all social beings. We cannot live without the company of somebody. We love to meet anybody who seems interesting to us – whether we share the same passion with them, we share the same ideologies and profession or simply because the two of you clicked. In this concept, looking for someone to share your whole potential to love and care is not far-off!
We are loving beings – we all have the potential to give love, and to be loved. We really love it when we are involved in a mutual relationship with our partners. But it seems that not everyone is entitled to be in a relationship because of a few things! One of the few things that women are adamant about is that there is a clear line between finding a rock or a gem. In this case, it is about looking for a real man and landing on a boy. While both are males, meaning their chromosome is XY and they show physically-structured bodies shown really in just males, their ways in handling women is what is separating the two.
Do you agree? Or maybe you think that there is a reversal in this situation? After all, these are some of the rants of our loving ladies. Let’s find out!
Argument #1: “Boys are immature. Men are very much mature. ”
A lot of women tend to say that a lot of boys these days are immature. A little drama may already affect them in things unforeseen. They get angry at the simplest things. They cannot handle stresses in life that they resort to things that are unproductive including playing games, gambling or drinking non-stop till the wee hours. Men, on the other hand, have fortitudes as sturdy as diamonds. It would take all the efforts for them to be angry, and if ever they go angry, they are easy to deal with. They face problems with a whole front, no other personas.
On a personal note, I guess there really is a discrepancy between eating a sweetened dough and a deliciously-made bagel.
Argument #2: “Boys cannot handle financial things. Men are as prepared as soldiers in battle.”
You hear a couple fighting about something. As witty as we are, we excitedly go and eavesdrop. We found out that it is a basic thing about finances – there is a shortcoming on the part of the boy because he does not have work and is relying on his parents for the milk, diaper, vitamins and other needs of his very cute kiddo. His partner, “The Nagger” as he calls her, rants about him finding work. You can also feel that his partner is indirectly comparing him to an ideal man who is pretty much involved in managing investment portfolios, has a good income and is insured and prepared.
Well, it sucks. But all this woman can do is to settle and find work to provide for her baby boy and, her “boy”.
Argument #3: “Boys hate the word “responsibility” and Men just dance with it.”
In business, in work environments, in families, in social gatherings or in family relations, the male species tend to have the upper hand in the overall management. But according to the females, boys are never responsible. They just want to sit and eat a few spring rolls while they sip some wine. Men are involved in programs and they can be seen hosting or making it easy for guests. Boys are not keen on entrepreneurship while men consider other business options. Boys slack off, while men even work overtime if needed. In relationships, this is also true. Boys are pathetic to relationship roles and goals while men do whatever they can to commit and finish all these.
What do these women think of me, or the other males they interact with, then?
Argument #4: “Boys do not fully know themselves yet. Men know everything about themselves.”
Life is so complex that you can compare it to a puzzle one square kilometre in area and with like 5 quadrillion pieces to fit into complete the puzzle. Life is hard to “finish”, but men know that much is at stake if they do not work for it. Another to be considered is that men find real women to share life’s complexities but boys, in general, are not up to the task of finishing what they started. They are clueless about their potentials as humans and they cannot even capitalize 10% of their talents. They do not know where to put their energies except in their fantasies and games, while men pretty much know where in the areas of life can they start so that other areas can also be covered.
How exactly do I play a puzzle which has 5 quadrillion pieces to fit?
Argument #5: “Boys take relationships as games. Men take relationships as a sacred bond.”
Back to the main topic of relationships, women consider boys as jokers when it comes to it. They think of it as a personal mission, like if they win the girl they want, they consider it as a trophy in which they can put under their mental trophy room compartmentalized within the very depths of their playful brains. Men, on the other hand, take women as angels of God and that they should be given the right treatment. If they fall in love with them, they consider it sacred and that they should be serious about all the responsibilities encompassed in having a relationship.
It is never easy to play games, to begin with, but “…play games with my heart?” Now that sounds like a song, right?
Argument #6: “Boys are only after sex. Men know the difference between it and making love.”
Now, we are into the hard part. Many women believe that boys are only after releasing their body tensions to them. Boys are lustful, are destroyers of families and only know whatever will benefit them in the long run. Men will love you and show you that there is nothing to fear. They give pure love and take whatever you give them back. They build families and make them strong with love. Men are guided by God and, as some women say, boys are from Hell. Boys are pathological liars and men are truthful to the bones.
Sounds like I will be judged. Well, some of the male readers may feel like they are also being judged right? (Sympathy please!)
Boys do not conquer relationships like men do because of these many arguments which women consider. They think that boys should be mature and be responsible enough to handle them. Boys may lack the enthusiasm and the drive to reach their goals. Men are on the pedestal, but they are not perfect. Men may still have things to develop but this does not mean that they are “boys” like how it was discussed here. The main point here is that boys should develop themselves more, and men should improve their weaknesses. Women should consider that boys and men may have very similar qualities, and with this, they should take all their time deciphering whether or not they should be with them or not.
Jose Angelo P. is a qualified Psychotherapist (Integrative), based in Manila, Metro Manila, Philippines.
With a commitment to mental health, Dr Culala provides services in English and Tagalog, including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Coaching, Coaching (Life), Counselling (General), Individual and Couple Therapy, Information / Resource Service, Online Counselling / Phone Therapy, Psychology, Relationship Counselling and Support Groups.
Dr Culala has expertise in Life Balance, Life Transitions, Mental Health, Relationships and Marriage Problems, Relationship Counselling, Relationship Problems, Self-Love, Suicide, Telephone Counselling and Young Adult Issues.
Click here to schedule a session with Dr Culala.
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TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
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