Trapped first time mother!

Every mother starts growing attached to her baby the moment she knows it is conceived. She is aware that she is responsible for its nourishment, sustenance and growth.

The moment news gets out that she is pregnant, she finds herself between plenty of suggestions and advice from family and friends about what or what not to do for her baby’s health and safety.

The first time mother may perceive this situation as overwhelming. She may feel mentally burdened, pressured, worried, and overly responsible for keeping her baby safe inside her womb. She may feel compelled to judge every situation with concern for her baby’s health and safety. Therefore, many first-time mothers become cautious, vigilant, alarmed, apprehensive, and suspicious with matters concerning their baby during this period.

This prolonged period of stress, the accompanying changes in her hormones and body may not allow first-time mothers to stop her worrying thoughts. Many first-time mothers cope with this stress, but others may not. For these others, worrying about possible harm to their baby, feeling overly responsible, feeling hypervigilant, fearful, and overly cautious concerning the baby’s safety may dominate over other equally important household, personal, and family care activities. Worrying about harm coming to their baby impacts these mothers pregnancy, physical health, sleep, appetite, relationships and working life.

Anxious preoccupations about the baby's safety during (prenatal) and after delivery (postnatal) is a concern shared by many first-time mothers. While most mothers can dismiss these stressful thoughts, some face a more serious problem and cannot. They start to pay more than usual attention to their worrisome (intrusive and obsessive) thoughts. As a result, they may feel increasingly anxious and helpless in the face of these excessive thoughts. Daily life and functioning suffer.

Many first time mothers often centre their worry or get intrusive thoughts/images on the following themes

• Intrusive thoughts, images, doubts of harm, fears related to their baby, themselves or others catching germs

• Intrusive thoughts, horrific images, doubts of harm, fears related to baby facing abuse- sexual or physical violence.

• Fear/doubt/intrusive thoughts/images that baby bottles not sterilised properly or baby clothes not washed properly

• Things to be rigidly kept in a specific and a certain order or perfectionist attitude

• Intrusive thoughts/images/ of harming the baby by drowning, stabbing, dropping etc

• Intrusive thoughts of harming the baby by ingesting medications, certain foods etc

In addition, many first-time mothers would follow certain rigid rituals to avoid the harm falling on the developing baby and ease their anxiety feelings. However, she may feel a little relief in her feelings of anxiety. The more she follows rigid rituals, the more anxiety results. Rituals centre on following repetitive behaviours

• Excessive cleaning of baby clothes or that of others

• Excessive sterilising of baby milk bottles

• Rigidly keeping baby away from the touch of others, fearing that they may contaminate/harm the baby

• Checking baby constantly while they are on sleep

• Mentally reviewing the steps of the daily routine to make sure that harm was not committed to the baby

• Repeatedly asking others, seeking their reassurance that no harm was committed to the baby

• Hiding sharp objects like knives etc

Therefore, it is important to seek professional help from the mental health specialist so that he/she may help you to take care and spend quality time with your developing baby than on obsessions and compulsions.