The Third

'The third' links to numbers, geometry, mathematics and the dimensions of objects and space. Further exploration of 'the third' reveals laws of nature, structure and relating, both in the internal and external world. Historically, 'three' as a concept has been significant in many contexts and has inspired thinkers throughout the centuries. 'The third' therefore does not grow out of a vacuum and it may be interesting to reflect on the overlaps of what 'three' means within varying contexts and perspectives. Three as a symbol or metaphor is certainly something psychoanalytic minds could free associate with. This essay will briefly introduce the term ‘third’, focussing more specifically on its use in the field of psychoanalysis.

To share a few examples, Pythagoras, 570 BC, saw 'three' as a perfect number, symbolising harmony, perfection and sacred proportion. According to the Pythagorean school, it is only the number 'three or triad, which equals the sum of all the terms below it, and whose sum with those below equals the product of them and itself (Hemenway, 2005).

''Three" also features in ancient sciences such as European alchemy, in the form of the three Primes or 'Paracelsus Tria Prima', related to the Law of the Triangle, in which two components produce the third (Helmenstine, 2020), and in Indian Ayurvedic medicine, the three 'doshas' or 'weaknesses' and their antidotes form the foundation for diagnosis and treatment. All body types are said to fall in these three categories, each of which are governed by two of the five elements, air, ether, fire, water and earth, which though different may in some way link to psychoanalytic drive theory which Mark Solms (2021) describes as being the root of all consciousness and linking the psyche and bodily experiences. Freud's personality structure consists of three parts: id, ego and superego.

In philosophy threefold divisions or trichotomies have played an important role, such as Hegel's dialectic of Thesis + Antithesis = Synthesis which creates three-ness from two-ness. Further, three features as triple deities or a trinity in many world religions (Three, 2023). Perhaps the Third in the psychoanalytic session, although not understood as ‘divine’, may be metaphorically linked in that two minds meet and the Third ‘is born’. Mystics refer to 'the third eye' and if I may once again stretch the metaphoric bow, in psychoanalysis there has been reference to the third ear, though not ‘all hearing’ in the mystical sense, may be related to the hearing of a hidden and hitherto unheard ‘inner voice’. Holistic thinking about the human being in popular culture refers to three aspects, body, mind and spirit which are understood as pillars of the complete being. Triads play a role in music and in fine arts there are three primary colours from which all other colours are derived.

In psychology the concept of three features in several areas. Going back in time, Aristotle's ‘three unities’, logos, pathos and ethos, in his writings on rhetoric have influenced public speaking, for example. 'Logos' refers logical argument, 'pathos' to emotional connection and 'ethos' to credibility and trustworthiness (Dlugan, A, 2010). Bowen's family systems theory includes the triangle as a three-person system, considered the smallest stable unit of human interaction. Thirdness, triadification or triangling involves a third person entering a dyadic relationship, bringing stability to the system (Wetchler & Hecker, 2015).

The concept of the Third in psychoanalysis includes: the separating third; the third that reconnects; the third that creates distance or the third which brings hither when separation had seemed irreparable; Freud’s third as Oedipus; the third as Lacan’s ‘the name of the father’; the third of Klein’s depressive position; the third of Winnicott’s intermediary space; the third of Hannah Segal, the internal symbol that connects an aspect of ‘the ego with the representation of the abandoned object’ and Ogden’s ‘analytic third’ arising from reverie, interpretation as an intersubjective third (Coelho, 2016). Perspectives on the Third have also been written by a authors such as Winnicott, Lacan, Britton, Gerson, Green and others who used variants of the term such as, 'thirdness', 'triangular space', and 'the third subject' (Diamond, 2007). Some of these perspectives will be explored in this essay.

To start at the beginnings, with the beginning of life and introducing a third in a literal sense as ‘an other’ who enters an arena of two, the father joining the mother-infant dyad. The term ‘father’ or 'father function' in this essay refers to the person or persons in the role of father function, or 'good enough father of whatever sex' (Kamau & Davies, 2018). Similarly ‘mother’ can be read in this essay as interchangeable with ‘primary caregiver’, ‘maternal function’ or those who play the role of primary caregiver.

Thinking of the mother-infant dyad and the father, there are first two and then three. Benjamin (2018) points out that the father needs to be accommodated by the dyad and be dyadically connected to the child, if he is to play the role of a Third. ‘The only usable Third, by definition, is one that is shared... Thirdness is not literally instituted by a father (or other) as the third person; it cannot originate in the Freudian oedipal relation in which the father appears as prohibitor and castrator. And, most crucially, the mother or primary parent must create that space by being able to hold in tension her subjectivity/desire/awareness and the needs of the child’... The process of creating thirdness’ is about building ‘relational systems and how we develop the intersubjective capacities for such co-creation’. Thirdness is ‘a quality or experience of intersubjective relatedness that has as its correlate a certain kind of internal mental space’ (Benjamin, 2018).

'Two is company but three is a crowd', is a common saying linked to relationship dynamics. In keeping with a psychoanalytic perspective, we start with a primary caregiver and infant dyad, a relatively simple, symbiotic relationship. The father enters the scene of the mother-infant dyad and as the infant becomes aware of an other person in the mother's life and over time in their own life, things become more complicated and complex.

Three is considered the smallest number to constitute a group. While any number beyond three can be referred to as ‘many’ (Gribbin, Gribbin, Edney and Halliday, 2003). In a sense the introduction of ‘an other’ in the role of father function is the infant's first experience of a group, preparing for later groups such as school, the work place, community, society, and the larger world.

The Oedipus Complex in Freudian theory is a stage of psychosexual development when the infant’s ‘love object’ evolves from the breast to the mother, which leads to hatred of the father. In turn this rivalrous relationship gives rise to the anxieties of the Castration Complex (Felluga, 2016). in Jungian theory, the father is an archetype, a universal concept drawn from the collective unconscious. Lacanian theory views the paternal function as a specific abstraction which Lacan referred to as ‘the name of the father’ which links to Freudian theory as ‘laws and restrictions that control both your desire and the rules of communication’ (Felluga, 2016). Contemporary object relations theorists position the father or father function in the pre-oedipal period (Davies, 2014). Donald Winnicott held that a father plays a significant maternal role, almost but not quite equal to the mother from the beginning of the infant’s life (Winnicott,1964).

Davies (2014) understood there to be four key functions of a father's role in the life of his infant which will be expanded below: A separating third; a facilitator of mental structure and the capacity to think; a facilitator of affect management; and a provider of psychic safety.

As a separating third, father draws the infant from the symbiotic mother-infant dyad, to a larger, more varied world, interrupting potential enmeshment with the mother. Not everyone shares this perspective, for example Rottman in Kamau & Davies is of the view that thirdness is not required as a separating function because a healthy mother and infant naturally evolve to separate out and encompass relationships outside the dyad. The father in the role of separating the mother-infant dyad, re-establishes the parent's relationship with each other while the father-child relationship also takes its place (Kamau & Davies, 2018) .

The external triadic structure created by the inclusion of the father into the dyad opens up a more complex internal space creating complexity in thinking, thus the father plays a role as facilitator of mental structure and the ability to think (Kamau and Davies, 2018). Thirdness presents a complex set of relationships, in which thinking about and relating to the self and the other expands to a triadic system in which each individual has a relationship, both individually and also with the two other people collectively. Each couple in the triangle has a relationship which is discreet from the third person. The triangle provides the opportunity of being a participant in relationships, of being observed by others, and of being an observer of the relationship between the other two people. These variations allow for an experience of the self as both subject and object (Flaskas, 2012). A range of potential complex constellations are possible within this psychic triangular space, including absence and presence, satisfaction and dissatisfaction. Differences between the parents, how they each relate to and respond to their child, in turn creates the possibility for their child to 'experience herself in the mirror of the object and find herself in a relationship with differing objects'. Integrating the third enhances a child's development and capacity for individuation, symbolisation and mentalisation (Baradon, 2019). 'The third' involves intricate relating, having to tolerate 'inevitable interactive shifts from alignment to misalignment and back' (Benjamin, 2018). Ronald Britton adds the third as self-observation within the triangular space, as a bearable experience of observing oneself while observing the other two members relating (Coelho, 2016).

The internal triangular structure is crucial for creating capacity for mentalisaing which is necessary for successful relating. Additionally, a 'port of psychic safety' is provided due to the option of an alternate caregiver who can provide safety and support when the mother-child dyad is experienced as disturbing. Furthermore the father provides a container for the negative parts of the mother-child dyad to be projected into, allowing psychic safety and protection of the mother-child relationship (Kamau and Davies, 2018).

The father's role as a facilitator of management of feelings and emotions, brings variety to the infant's experiences. Differences in the parents' roles influence the infant, impacting on affect regulation. For example, the mother may focus more on containment and soothing, while relating to the father may contrast and present an experience of a different level of arousal. A non-threatening increase of positive and negative affect evoked and tolerated by the father enriches and advances development of affect regulation ( Davies, 2014 ) .

According to the Freudian perspective of child development, the Oedipal Complex occurs around the ages of three to five, during the phallic stage where boys feel drawn to their mother and wish for her complete attention, giving rise to feelings of defiance toward their father. Ultimately this period is resolved when the son solves his problem by identifying with his father. More is known about the son in the context of psychoanalytic developmental theory, however recently some authors have written about the daughter. One of my own explorations was my master's thesis on the influence of absent fathers on the identity of women (Varney-Wong, 2019).

Tessman (Cath, Gurwitt & Ross, 2009) touches on thirdness in the context of the excitement of a daughter's response to her father. Around the age of two, 'endeavour excitement' influences individuation from the mother. The existence of father opens an inspiring and enticing world beyond the maternal influence which ultimately leads to independence (Kamau & Davies, 2018). Benjamin interprets symbolic 'penis envy' as a daughter's yearning for her father as a figure to identify with in order to individuate from her mother with whom she has great similarity and thereby accessing experience her independence and autonomy (Benjamin, 1991). Around the age of three to four, a daughter experiences 'erotic excitement'. For Freud and Lacan, desire is the subject's longing for an essentially lost object (International Dictionary of Psychoanalysis). A healthy relationship with her father transforms erotic excitement into an appropriate companionship where she is appreciated as she grows and learns (Cath, Gurwitt & Ross, 2009).

There is more that can and has been said about early childhood and the third, but moving on to the analytic session, there are linkages that can be made. For example, the above mentioned’ Third as creating the capacity for mentalising’ (Kamau and Davies, 2018) and the Analytic Third as a psychic space of reflection (Ogden, 2004). In early childhood the third develops when the literal third person (or persons) enter the scene and thereby the mind is opened to a more complex world of possibilities, and in the analytic session, the meeting of two minds (or more if it’s an analytic group) gives rise to a space where complexity arises, can be metabolised and interpreted. Ogden (2004) explained this space, drawing on Winnicott’s statement that ‘there is no such thing as an infant [apart from the maternal provision]’ that his ‘conception of analytic intersubjectivity [is that] in an analytic context, there is no such thing as an analysand apart from the relationship with the analyst, and no such thing as an analyst apart from the relationship with the analysand’.

While exploring writings of authors on the Third in the context of the psychoanalytic session, an association of cubist painting comes to mind, a kaleidoscope of angles pieced together forming a larger perspective. The term ‘analytic third' was coined by Thomas Ogden in 1994, referring to 'the intersubjective experience which is a product of a unique dialectic generated between the individual subjectivities of the analyst and analysand within the clinical setting. The analytic third is a creation of the analyst and analysand, and at the same time the analyst and analysand are created by the analytic third’ (Akhtar, 2009). 'The analytic third is often defined as the psychological (triangular) space between self and other, subject and object, fantasy and reality – the third dimension that emerges from two persons fully engaged in the exploration of unconscious meanings, reasons, motives and actions' (Diamond, 2007). Minds meet in the reflective process of psychoanalysis birthing the third psychic space, therefore In a sense ‘the third’ describes the process of a psychoanalytic session.

A potential process of transformation grows from reflective participation and dialectical interaction, both internally and interpersonally. These social and psychological processes consist of ‘creative and destructive tensions, regressive and progressive actions, paralysis and movement, social and psychological structures, conscious and unconscious motivations, and fantasy and reality’. Within these tensions, the third dimension emerges as an intermediate or psychological space where real development and growth take place. Thus the analytic third is where the work of ‘repairing and integrating fragmented and broken human systems occurs.’ Thirdness arises when two people immerse themselves in the seeking and investigation of unconscious experiences (Diamond, 2007).

For Klein and Lacan ‘the third’ grows from a sense of hopelessness which stems from the deep seated difference that comprises ‘the other’. This despair is the first sign of the appearance of ‘the third’ or ‘other’. The third requires a triangular setting, generating the enriching posterior gaze which emerges from negotiating representations and reflections, which are abstract and require interpretation. The analysand lies on the couch whom the psychoanalyst sits behind, thus ‘posterior gaze’ links both to physical position and to reflection (Hadar, 2013).

Theodor Reik (1956) wrote about the ‘third ear’, which he said listens for the unsaids of others, that is, what they feel and think, and also that which underlies one’s own conscious thought processes. ‘The goal, then, albeit a difficult one, is for an analyst working from an interpersonal perspective to be a skilled participant observer, and to develop the facility of participating while still maintaining his perspective of the entire analytic field-including his own participation in it’ (Bromberg,1984). ‘The third ear’ apparently is an everyday phrase in German, which is understood as having a fine-tuned sensitivity to, and ability to pick up subtle and underlying meaning. Reik poetically referred to the psychoanalytic process as being the ‘twilight region between reality and fantasy’, suggesting the unconscious, from which deep insights surprise one but cannot be willed or sought after - it is best to wait ‘until a conclusion jumps to' one. Reik recommended that one forget what one has learned and rather, using the ‘third ear’, ‘listen to the inner experience or observation of one’s own response’ (Lothane, 1981). Bion (1978) too spoke of not focussing on the already known when he said, ‘every session attended by the analyst must have no history and no future. What is ‘known’ about the patient is of no further consequence: it is either false or irrelevant. If it is ‘known’ by patient and analyst, it is obsolete ... The only point of importance in any session is the unknown. Nothing must be allowed to distract from intuiting that. In any session, evolution takes place. Out of the darkness and formlessness something evolves.’

I will end this essay with Donald Winnicott who inspired many thinkers on the concept of the third. Winnicott’s ‘third area’ is an intermediary space​ of ​'in-between two' (Coelho, 2016)​. This ‘third area’ points to the wellspring of potential, something of promise. Winnicott referred to play as ‘the third area’ which he found significant because he felt that play links into creative expression and the cultural lives of humans. He wrote that this third area ​is neither internal nor external but an 'intermediate' existence within a 'potential' space, a space of creativity. ‘I have located this important area of experience in the potential space between the individual and the environment’ (Winnicott, 1971). Andre Green was in agreement and stated, ‘thirdness was the right solution, because it is true that the analytic space is under the sole sovereignty neither of the internal nor of the external world’ (Abram, 2016). In closing and in keeping with the theme of the third, Freud the father of psychology, noted that when the child stops playing, she or he does not give anything up but simply exchanges physical objects for fantasies and daydreams ( Freud, 1908) .

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