Overcoming the Empty Feeling: A Guide to Meaningful Living

By Team TherapyRoute

Feeling empty is hard to put into words. Many people know this feeling, and it deserves to be taken seriously.

The word covers several different experiences, not just one, and working out which one fits you is a useful first step.

What "empty" really means

The same word covers very different states. For one person, it is numbness after a loss, for another it is a flat mood that will not lift, and for a third it is a hollow feeling that has lasted for years.

Each of these has a different meaning and each also has a different way forward.

When emptiness follows loss or change

Big changes can leave an empty space behind them, and a death, a move, a new baby, or a new job can all do this. Feeling hollow while you adjust is a common human response.

As the NHS notes, grief is natural after loss, while depression is an illness.²

Grief usually softens with time, and if it does not lift, it is worth a closer look.

When emptiness is part of depression

Sometimes emptiness is one face of depression. In depression, people often lose interest or pleasure in things they once enjoyed.² Days can feel grey, slow, and low on motivation.

This loss of pleasure has a clinical name, anhedonia, and it is one of the most common signs of depression.

One rough guide can help you judge it: when low mood lasts most days for over two weeks, see a doctor.

When emptiness runs deeper and longer

For some people, emptiness is not a passing state; it sits in the background for years and feels like part of them.

Chronic feelings of emptiness are one of the recognised features of borderline personality disorder. The NHS lists long-term feelings of emptiness among the emotions that can come with it.¹

For a person living with this condition, the hollowness can be constant and painful, and the pattern is often linked to early trauma and tends to ease with age. If this is familiar, a therapist can help you make sense of it.

Emptiness and the search for meaning

Not all emptiness points to an illness; sometimes it is closer to a question about meaning.

Some clinicians read it as anxiety tied to aloneness, meaninglessness, and mortality.³ These are concerns most people meet at some point.

This view is not as bleak as it sounds, and it also points to our freedom to make our own meaning in life.

Existential approaches are used for many difficulties, including depression, bereavement, trauma, and adjustment problems.³ The focus is on how you live now and what matters to you.

Why "just stay positive" often backfires

Well-meaning advice often says to think positive and reach out.

Pressure to think positive can make conversations shallow and can deepen a sense of isolation.⁴

There is real comfort in being understood, and realising that others carry the same feelings can reduce shame and isolation. Seeing others cope can also quietly instil hope.⁴

Reaching people is worth it, even when loneliness makes it hard.

Finding support that helps

Emptiness is workable, even when it does not feel that way, and talking therapy is one of the main ways people make sense of it.

One option is person-centred therapy, and in this approach the therapist works to understand you and to clarify what you feel.

Other approaches focus on meaning, loss, or long-standing patterns. A good fit matters more than the label.

If you want to talk to someone, this guide helps you find the right therapist. It is fine to try more than one before you settle.

Emptiness can be a signal worth listening to. With time and support, many people find their way to something steadier.

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This article is for general information and learning. It is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If emptiness weighs on your daily life, please speak to a qualified professional.

References

1. [1] NHS (2022). Symptoms - Borderline personality disorder. nhs.uk.
2. [2] NHS (2023). Symptoms - Depression in adults. nhs.uk.
3. [3] Kaplan & Sadock's Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry (10th ed., 2017). Section 33.11, Other Methods of Psychotherapy (Existential Psychotherapy).
4. [4] Yalom, I. D., & Leszcz, M. The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy (5th ed.).