Loneliness: How does it affect our mental and physical health?
Loneliness is a phenomenon of the modern world. How does it affect our thoughts, our feelings and our routines in life?
LONELINESS… A feeling that we have all experienced at some point in our lives, whether being on our own or in the presence of others.
Loneliness is a feeling reinforced by modern society. Autonomy and independence are encouraged as qualities we should all have in order to survive and achieve more in the modern world. The use of technology as a medium of communication has also made the feeling of loneliness more frequent and more intense. We do not meet our friends and family as often anymore.
We nowadays rely a lot on our phones in order to get in touch with significant others. A lot of the time, we even choose to text rather than talk to people at the other end of the line. It is faster, easier and it allows us to multitask. Podcasts have also become very popular which, according to studies, is linked to our need to hear a human voice more often.
Before you start thinking that life would be better without difficult feelings, such as loneliness, it is worth mentioning that loneliness has a function in our lives, as every feeling does. No matter how unpleasant it is, loneliness is there to protect us from getting isolated and it pushes us towards developing connections with others. Being with others in the same space does not necessarily stop people from feeling lonely. Research shows that people who feel lonely do not actually spend less time with others. Also, it is worth noting that loneliness does not depend at all on people’s characteristics, such as their attractiveness, age, education and intelligence.
Loneliness often leads to symptoms of depression and anxiety
(rather than being the consequence of them). When we feel alone, we tend to experience emotions of sadness, disappointment and hopelessness. We might experience reduced levels of motivation to complete tasks and to follow a structured routine. We might start skipping meals and use substances (e.g. smoking, alcohol) to self-medicate. Chances are that we will worry about the future and whether we are going to feel alone forever. In regards to physiological responses, loneliness leads to elevated stress levels and the release of hormones (e.g. cortisol) that can lead to ageing and mortality.
In regards to the association with physical health conditions, loneliness contributes to the development of high blood pressure and obesity.
It also predicts the progression of Alzheimer’s disease. Since loneliness is a form of social pain (i.e. pain of being separated by a social group), it is processed by the brain in the same way as physical pain. When we experience pain, it is harder to appreciate the positives in life. A feeling of being unsafe is getting reinforced and, therefore, it becomes harder to relax and sleep.
When we feel lonely in social situations, we tend to interpret the behaviour of others as an attack. We might think, for instance, that others ‘do not understand how we feel’, ‘have better lives than us’ or ‘do not like us and have negative thoughts about us’. We usually overestimate the social threat and underestimate our ability to cope with social situations. We tend to forget that we have managed similar situations in the past and we survived them with success.
It is likely to be more sensitive to and misinterpret social signals (e.g. people’s facial expressions, gestures or tone of voice). As a response, a more defensive attitude is adopted as a coping and survival mechanism.
For example, we might keep ourselves distant and hesitate to be open and honest with others. We might try to put a brave face on in order to hide our difficult emotions. Loneliness does not let us think clearly. The distortions in our thinking in social situations (e.g. comparing ourselves to others and trying to mind read) lead to difficult feelings, such as anger, guilt and shame.
If you are wondering which factors contribute to the development of loneliness in social situations, it is important to underline the fact that our early experiences in life, our genetics and our attachment with our carer is associated with:
- our social expectations of others
- our vulnerability towards social disconnection
- our ability to regulate our feelings of loneliness
Click on Idyli Kamaterou's profile picture to learn more about her and her practice.
Idyli is a qualified CBT Psychotherapist, based in Morden, United Kingdom.
With a commitment to mental health, Ms Kamaterou provides services in English and Greek, including Online Counselling / Phone Therapy, Psychotherapy (CBT) and Stress Management.
Ms Kamaterou has expertise in Agoraphobia, Anxiety Disorders, Anxiety Disorderss (Panic), Obsessions and Compulsions (OCD), Stress Management and Worry.
Click here to schedule a session with Ms Kamaterou.
Important:
TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
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