How To Talk To Someone You Trust
Talking to someone we trust can be difficult when it comes to tough or sensitive topics. We might overlap or over load topics and miscommunicate. This leads to feeling lost and miss understood.
It's not that simple. At the end of the day, the most difficult part is to talk to someone we trust.
When I say talk, I mean sharing something personal, traumatic or heartbreaking. Before we understand how to talk, let's first discuss who we trust.
We all have an inner circle of people we trust and can reach out to. They form our support system. People we trust are the ones we can open up to and share most things about our lives. They are the ones we know will keep all our secrets and look out for us. We can depend upon them.
These people can include our parents, siblings, best friends, teachers, cousins or significant others. They would welcome our reaching out and sharing our thoughts and feelings, and would offer advice, insight or reflection. Now that we are clear about who we trust, let us come back to our topic….
“HOW TO TALK”
There are five steps to talking to someone we trust. Let's understand them and I hope it will help you become better communicators.
The first step is to decide who to talk to. It is important to decide who to talk to in your circle of close people so that you get the help you need from the correct person.
The second step is to work out what to say. At times when we talk about our feelings and thoughts, we overlap and overload the information. So it is always better, when you want to talk about something very personal and sensitive, to first think through what is bothering you. For better clarity, write it down and narrow it to exactly what is troubling you.
The third step is to choose the right time to Talk. It is important to have a time when you can have their undivided attention. So that they can help you and understand what you are sharing. It does not have to be face to face …it can be over the phone, a video chat but select a time when they can pay that full attention.
The fourth step is to have a conversation. When talking about a tough topic or sensitive issue it is important that you are specific and to the point so that the person knows you want help, advice, practical support or just someone to listen to. When having this conversation use ‘I’ statements and short direct sentences.
For example: try saying
“I am bullied at the workplace by a colleague, need your advice on how to handle this. ”
The fifth and final step is to not give up on yourself. If you are not able to talk once try again. Also keep talking and trying till the time you get the help, advice and support you are looking for. It can appear to be a tedious and daunting task to do but remember it's not impossible.
Because unless you talk and reach out you won't understand help is available and it's ok to seek support and help.
Next time you have something serious on your mind remember these steps and reach out to some you trust.
Priyanka is a qualified Counsellor, based in Sector 45, Gurgaon, India.
With a commitment to mental health, Mrs Charan provides services in English and Hindi/Urdu, including Corporate Workshops, Counselling (Career), Counselling (General), Mediation, Online Counselling / Phone Therapy, Psychotherapy (CBT), Training (Communication Skills) and Training (Life Skills).
Mrs Charan has expertise in Adjusting to Change/Life Transitions, Adolescent Counselling, Adoption Issues, Anxiety Disorders, Infertility Counselling, Online Counselling, Parenting Issues and Stress Management.
Click here to schedule a session with Mrs Charan.
Important:
TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
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