How to Say No. Be Honest.

Saying No should be simple, right? It’s a two letter word. But not only does it carry enormous weight – it means we disagree, right? – it was one of the most developmentally powerful words every toddler learns.

Master the word, and change the world.

The psychologist Rene Spitz wrote an entire book about childhood development, based on the child learning what No means. If you have ever spent time around a two-year-old, you know; they love that word. They even make songs about it. It is what the “terrible twos” are about.

No means we are an individual. That is actually good, right? How can we be intimate if we can’t see one another? To recognize the other person as different from ourselves allows for a creative space between us.

Sometimes no is dangerous. But if it is, something is wrong. If it is not allowed that you have an individual opinion, or certainly if you are in danger in a relationship, something needs to change.

But in ordinary circumstances, you having a different opinion should actually be enjoyable for the other person. They get to know you, through the differences between you.

Part of my series, Freudalicious Mind , on YouTube. Channel: HeathMD