How to Heal From Emotional Abuse in Relationships
❝Learn how to recognize and heal from emotional abuse. Learn about the signs, effects, and steps to recovery after surviving emotional abuse.❞
According to the CDC , over 61 million women and 53 million men in the United States (over one-third of the population) have reported experiencing emotional abuse from an intimate partner.
It can result in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) , anxiety, escalation to physical abuse, and potentially damaging future relationships due to one or both partners' past experiences. Recognising the signs of emotional abuse and working towards healing oneself is essential. Let's look at how to recognise emotional abuse, its effects, and how to begin the healing process.
Therapy should be personal. Therapists listed on TherapyRoute are qualified, independent, and free to answer to you – no scripts, algorithms, or company policies.
Find Your TherapistRecognising Emotional Abuse
There are many types of emotional abuse, including:
- Verbal abuse, including name-calling ("You're worthless, and you're lucky I'm willing to put up with you")
- Distrust ("I don't want you to talk to him/her because I don't trust you not to cheat")
- Gaslighting ("That never happened, and you're crazy for making it up" in response to an actual event)
- Minimising a partner's feelings ("I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I'm not going to stop")
- Threatening to self-harm ("If you don't marry me, I'll kill myself")
These tactics aim to manipulate a partner into doing whatever the abuser wants and to lower their partner's self-esteem. It can damage a person's well-being, as they can start to believe the negativity about themselves and might genuinely think they are good enough or deserve to be happy, which can lead to depression, PTSD, anxiety, and other mental distress.
The Importance of Professional Help
If these behaviours sound familiar, it's a good idea to seek help from a licensed therapist or counsellor who can help you navigate your feelings and recover from emotional abuse. No one deserves to be emotionally abused, but many victims blame themselves or excuse their partner's abusive behaviours even after realising that.
Phone, email, or text helplines and support groups also help you process your feelings and trauma. Sharing your experience and listening to others who have gone through the same thing can be helpful on the road to recovery.
Self-Assessment and Acknowledgment
If any of these traits sound familiar, self-assessing your relationship may be a good idea. It can be as simple as starting with questions like "Does my partner make me feel good about myself?" or "Am I being manipulated?"
As with many problems, the first step is acknowledging that abuse is taking place, allowing you to begin remedying the situation, although many psychological barriers can make it difficult. Victims may blame themselves or love their abuser so much that they can't accept they'd do anything harmful.
Setting Boundaries
The next step is to set boundaries in the relationship by outlining unacceptable behaviours and letting your partner know what's okay and what isn't. Even a simple statement like "Please don't talk about my weight like that; it hurts my feelings" can cause the other person to evaluate how they talk to you.
Enforcing these can be tough, especially if you prefer to avoid confrontation. However, it's important to let someone know if they're crossing the line to prevent allowing further abuse to take place.
Emotional Self-Care
One of the best tools for any healing journey is emotional self-care, the practice of doing activities you enjoy that can help your emotional and physical state. These include journaling, exercising, meditation, spending time outdoors, speaking with a therapist, and many other activities. In addition to making us happier, these activities can also help us
regulate our nervous systems
, which can help improve the way our bodies work and help us feel at peace.
Rebuilding Trust and Self-Esteem
The many consequences of emotional abuse are reduced self-esteem and a lack of trust. People who have been hurt can become distrustful or even believe that the abuser was telling the truth with their negativity. It's important for victims to rebuild trust in others and themselves on the road to recovery because it will help them better navigate their feelings and have more successful future relationships.
Common ways to rebuild trust include using communication techniques to help you and your partner better express your feelings, forgiving those who have wronged you, and deciding how to move forward instead of focusing on the past. These are perhaps the most critical steps for any healing journey, as dwelling on past events can be emotionally harmful.
Moving On and Future Relationships
A healthy relationship should be based on love, trust, and mutual respect, among other positive traits. People who have experienced emotional abuse in the past may end up with trust issues, PTSD, or other issues that can hamper new relations. By emphasising clear and direct communication with your new partner and establishing safe boundaries, you'll have a better chance of maintaining a healthy relationship with your new partner.
Conclusion
Unfortunately, emotional abuse in relationships, including distrust, lying, gaslighting, and similar things, is widespread today. However, by acknowledging the problem, speaking to a therapist or counsellor, setting boundaries in future relationships, and engaging in regular self-care, you can take control of the situation and begin your healing journey. Today is the perfect time to take that first step, and we wish you all the best!
Frequently Asked Questions on Recognizing and Healing from Emotional Abuse
What are the signs of emotional abuse in a relationship?
Signs of emotional abuse can include verbal abuse, distrust, gaslighting, minimizing a partner's feelings, and threats of self-harm. These tactics aim to manipulate and lower a partner's self-esteem.
How can professionals help assist in healing from emotional abuse?
Seeking help from a licensed therapist or counsellor
can guide in navigating your feelings and recovering from emotional abuse. They offer a safe space for healing and growth.
What is the first step to address emotional abuse in a relationship?
Self-assessment and acknowledgement are critical. Ask questions like "Does my partner make me feel good about myself?" Acknowledging the abuse is the first step towards healing.
How can setting boundaries help in dealing with emotional abuse?
Setting clear boundaries by communicating what behaviours are unacceptable is essential. It helps both partners understand limits and prevents further abuse.
What role does emotional self-care play in healing from emotional abuse?
Emotional self-care, including activities like journaling, exercising, and speaking with a therapist, can help you regain emotional well-being. It aids in regulating your nervous system and finding peace.
Sources
1. Fast Facts: Preventing Intimate Partner Violence: www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html
2. The Silence of Self-Care: www.osc.org/the-science-of-self-care/
Important: TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
Creating Space for Growth: How Boundaries Strengthen Relationships
Setting boundaries in relationships is one of the most important yet often overlooked aspects of maintaining healthy connections with others. Boundaries are personal limi...
International Mutual Recognition Agreements for Mental Health Professionals
Table of Contents | Jump Ahead Executive Summary Part I: Bilateral Agreements Part II: Multilateral Frameworks Part III: Profession-Specific Frameworks Part IV: Assessmen...
Jumping to Conclusions
Table of Contents Definition Key Characteristics Theoretical Background Clinical Applications Treatment Approaches Research and Evidence Examples and Applications Conclus...
About The Author
“I am a Registered Psychometrist (Independent Practice) with experience in medico-legal report writing and a vast array of psychometric assessments.”
Kerstin Holtzhausen is a qualified Psychometrist, based in Bedfrodview, Johannesburg, South Africa. With a commitment to mental health, Kerstin provides services in , including Child Psych & Diagnostic Assessment, Psych & Diagnostic Assessment, Intellectual Psych & Diagnostic Assessment, Medico-Legal, Psychometric Testing and Child Psych & Diagnostic Assessment. Kerstin has expertise in .

