Depression is Lonely: Break the Isolation

It is not always clear what causes depression in individuals. It can be influenced by genetic, environmental, or psychological factors, alone or in combination. Symptoms of depression are essential information for psychiatrists to determine medication, but how a person copes with those symptoms is a separate challenge.

While many people are familiar with symptoms like persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, fatigue, and feelings of worthlessness or guilt, depression can have a more insidious impact. Like a narcissist who seeks attention and can be manipulative, depression can consume a person’s thoughts and emotions, leading to social withdrawal and relationship strain.

Friends and family may struggle to understand the depth of the person’s pain, leading to loneliness and isolation. This can make it difficult to reach out for help, which can be scary. Depression can make a person feel like they have no control over their recovery, which can be a frustrating and overwhelming experience.

Now that we understand the crisis and the challenge, what choices do we have?

Simply put, through understanding, empathy, and support, we can help those struggling with depression to know they are not alone and that there is a path toward a brighter tomorrow. But saying it in a line doesn’t help, does it?

Let’s dive deep into one example to explain how to work with depression.

Initially, Alex (a client) reached out to me as she was tired of her family dynamics and the situation that arose because of it, her failed relationships, and work that brought no excitement. She mentioned she wanted to see if therapy would work. -- Which in reality meant, “I know it won’t work, but if I try and you fail as a counsellor, the blame is not on me.”

Can you feel the narcissistic nature of depression through this? It is so confident about its hold on Alex that the statement has a sense of challenge. Of course, Alex had no idea at the time what she was implying.

After two sessions, she said, “I am so lost, I hate everything. Instagram posts only make me feel like everything in the world is fine except for me. And for some unknown reason, I am convinced my life can’t improve. I will have to suffer. I can’t be happy for long, even when I get a promotion, because it will be taken away.”

At the moment when she gets a promotion and would have otherwise escaped depression for a bit of a while, depression had gotten her for good. It had convinced her that feeling a certain way was her truth. That’s what the first call meant. I know it won’t work! But at least no blame on me for not trying.

It’s difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there because it’s not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it’s that cold absence of feeling—that hollowed-out feeling

- J.K. Rowling

This was just one example of the struggles of those battling depression. Each person will show unique challenges and how loneliness impacts their lives.

You need to remember two things about dealing with depression:

• Every person is different and has a unique life that they have to navigate through.
• The subjectivity of the experiences in life and how one deals with them defines how things shape up for them.

These are hard facts! Yet, we are free to choose what we engage with every second. No matter how difficult it is, breaking the isolation healthily is critical in dealing with depression. We need to create supportive, loving, caring, and motivating relationships.

Can you recall when you were genuinely happy with your interaction with people? A sense of warmth and security. That feeling allows us to look beyond our immediate situation and see through the issues.

Depression can be overwhelming to deal with on your own. That’s why we need immediate help sometimes. When you find yourself in a situation that might prove to be dangerous, and you need direct support, don’t hesitate to contact a 24*7 helpline.

You need to build connections that will help you. It would be best to reach out to trained professionals, as people around us want good for us, but they don’t always know what reasonable means or how to deliver it.

World Health Organisation: An estimated 3.8% of the population experience depression, including 5% of adults (4% among men and 6% among women) and 5.7% of adults older than 60. Approximately 280 million people in the world have depression (1). Depression is about 50% more common among women than among men. Worldwide, more than 10% of pregnant women and women who have just given birth experience depression (2). More than 700,000 people die due to suicide every year. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in 15–29-year-olds.

Seeking help from a trained professional will allow you to work with yourself by collaborating with someone with the knowledge, experience, and credibility to provide you with the best help possible. There are numerous things a therapist can help you with, ranging from non-judgemental support to therapies like cognitive-behavioural therapy, narrative therapy, and transactional therapy to helpful strategies which have proven to be effective in alleviating symptoms.

Alex was able to recognize the impact of her past, but more importantly, she was able to understand her patterns and come up with strategies that helped her change the narrative. That’s how impactful therapy can be.

Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Together, we can break the chains of depression and embrace hope for a better tomorrow.

Simran is a qualified Professional Counsellor, based in Kolkata, India.

With a commitment to mental health, Miss Sharma provides services in Bengali, English and Hindi/Urdu, including Coaching (Life), Counselling, Counselling (General), Online Counselling / Phone Therapy, Psychology (Counselling), Relationship Counselling and Training (Life Skills).

Miss Sharma has expertise in Anger Management Issues, Anxiety Disorders, Behavioural and Emotional Problems, Control Issues, Life Transitions, Phobias, Relationship Problems and Stress Management.

Click here to schedule a session with Miss Sharma.

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