Children Can Fear COVID-19 Too!

Counter-measurements have been carried out all over the world in the face of coronavirus (Covid-19) outbreak. Zooming into our neighbouring countries, Malaysia had extended Movement Control Order (MCO) to April 28 2020, and the government is, in fact, looking at extending this order while gradually allowing more sectors to resume their functions.

Singapore launched Circuit Breaker measure which is dated to end on May 4 2020, similar to MCO, which is essential to curb the spread of the virus. Just today, Prime Minister of Singapore has announced that the measure will be extended till June 1 2020, with stricter rules and regulations in place to maintain order in this time of chaos. Other countries would probably be taking similar steps, adopting various names and terminologies for their measures without actually directly injecting fear into the heart of the public by naming it LOCKDOWN.

Essentially, it is to save what’s left in their countries, in governmental and communal aspects.

That’s for governmental policies. Let’s take a closer look at how all these measures change our lives.

Most of us are now working from home; adapting to the use of teleconferences, checking camera and microphones on our devices to see if our team hears us well, emailing and typing on our keyboard. All of these have been our new “normal”. For those with children to manage, it will too be an added work. On top of having your ultimate focus on your work, you will now have to split that undivided attention to ensure your children are doing what they are supposed to. That includes studying, getting into their virtual learning portals right, and even getting their food ready. This is also a rare time where some of us may begin to realize being educator/ teacher/ school personnel is never an easy task after all.

Despite having all our daily routines flipped like a bad dream, some of us may still be able to adjust and adapt well. We are still able to keep our daily activities similar to what we used to have. However, not all of us are fortunate to be able to have that. Let’s look at an example; just imagine your business isn’t able to be operated in this outbreak, this then may not seem to be the most optimistic time to you. Well, even if you are able to still work, sometimes your workflow or even business will get affected too and that can too be really stressful.

My point is that stress is everywhere and it comes in various shapes and forms. The best part of being an adult is that we have the capacity to share our thoughts and feelings in words. We are all in this together. It is, in fact, natural and normal to feel fearful, anxious, nervous, frustrated, or even angry at what we are currently facing.

"When will this end?"

"Why is this happening?"

"Please, just let us live our lives normally."

These aren’t too new to any of us, are they? However, as per mentioned, we still have the liberty to express ourselves or even seek help (as and when we see the need) for we gain autonomy and independence of our own lives.

What about children? They are experiencing changes too. From having to be a socialite to having to stay at home; from not being able to use gadgets or devices, to being given permission to utilize all of them; from having to meet people face-to-face, to not meeting anyone physically at all. All of these are in fact very stressful. Some of you may think that this is nothing as compared to life-and-death situations. Children must be enjoying themselves since they don’t have to go to school. They crave to be in this scenario so that they can just stay at home for all they want.

Stress does not discriminate based on age, religion, culture, or even gender. We all have stress, regardless of who you are, how important you are, or what you are. Yes, in short, children too face anxiety in this time of crisis. Let’s face the fact and I’m going to list some of them here.

Minister for Social and Family Development Desmond Lee addressed this issue in Parliament on Monday (April 6) when he noted a trend in "higher rates of domestic violence, domestic quarrels and friction in the family" in countries that had imposed movement restrictions. ( LINK )

Dr Goh says children are experiencing a lot of stress from the abrupt cessation of school and, for now, there are teething issues with home learning. ( LINK )

WAO’s advocacy officer, Tan Heang-Lee, told Malay Mail that its statistics show an approximate 14 per cent increase in hotline calls and WhatsApp enquiries on domestic violence to the group since the MCO began. ( LINK )

In fact, prolonged restriction on movements can have an emotional impact on children, particularly preschoolers and those at the primary-school level, according to psychologist Prof Datin Dr Mariani Md Nor. ( LINK )

These are just some of the examples that are being plucked from the media in less than 10 minutes. It is not a surprise that more relevant news and information about the impact of Covid-19 on children’s mental health. This is also a sign and in fact, a wake-up call to all of us that children’s mental health is not to be neglected and/ or forgotten, in amidst of our current situation.

"The world is going bleak, and there’s nothing I can do."

"So much is going on, and it is hard for me to breathe."

"Why can’t I go out anymore?"

"We are going to die."

It is vital and necessary for us to also care for them while guiding them towards autonomy, independence, and faith that the world is not going to end if all of us play a part in this battle. This pandemic is real, but they shouldn’t have to go through these fearful and anxious feelings alone.

Here are some steps we can take to make this situation more digestible for them.

1. Check-in with what they know about Covid-19

It is highly advisable to know that children get an essential grasp of what the viral outbreak is. With social media being easily accessible, this opens the opportunities for fake news to be spread and induce fear in our children. Sharing with them information from credible sources is necessary as it will bring hope and faith to the world and themselves, rather than the news from fear mongers. This should be done with caution and accordance to their age. For instance, older children can take in more factual information as compared to younger ones; younger children will benefit when we provide more practical demonstration of keeping germs away from us. The idea is to be honest and accurate to what is happening so that they have a good understanding of this pandemic.


2. Explain their roles in this battle.

This will include sharing with them the importance of safe distancing and the changes they are experiencing now. Helping them to understand the role they play in this battle can reduce the fear and anxiety they are experiencing. Start by explaining what safe distancing means (i.e, staying away from others until the risk of contracting COVID-19 is under control). When they are ready, explain that there may not have a specific timeline that this pandemic will end, but it is with our own responsibilities to follow the guidelines of health experts to do our part. For younger children, the term ‘superhero’ may be the most apt in this situation as we want them to feel empowered that they can too do something for the world.


3. Be a role model.

As we know, children learn from observation. How we speak will in turn be influencing how they interpret the situation. If we are to constantly be in the fearful and anxious state when it comes to knowing or even hearing about Covid-19, it is not uncommon for children to model and eventually have that emotional reaction instilled in them.


4. Establish and maintain a daily routine.

Despite all these changes, keeping our children on a regular schedule and routine is utterly helpful to guiding them adjusting to these changes. It helps provide a sense of control, predictability, calm, and well-being. For instance, start by ensuring children are going to bed as per usual days. This will keep their circadian rhythms (sleep cycles) managed and with that, they will be more energized and motivated the next day for the tasks they have. After all, regular and uninterrupted sleep is essential to all of us, and most of the time, anxiety and fear tend to disrupt our sleep. Thus, it will be something we can monitor to ensure children are well managed. By doing so too helps children and other family members respect others’ need for quiet or uninterrupted time and when they can connect with family and friends virtually. This is a huge and in fact integral part of assisting children towards independence in this situation given most communications are online, and this includes home-based learning.


5. Let them express their concerns
We may not share the same fear, but it doesn’t give us any rights to condescend their feelings and concerns. Allow children to ask us questions. Let their questions guide us, and answer their questions truthfully. The point is not about listening to argue, but rather listening to help them pour out what is in their mind which can be detrimental to their health, both mentally and physically. Children may have their fears and anxieties manifested in various forms, so it is our responsibility as their guardians, to see those feelings being managed and expressed appropriately. Often, children and youth do not talk about their concerns because they are confused or don't want to worry loved ones. Hence, we should work to empower them to feel safe sharing their thoughts and feelings. Children always feel empowered if they can control some aspects of their life. A sense of control reduces fear.

In a time of crisis, no individual is to be neglected and abandoned.

We are in this together; children, adults, men, women, everyone.

Let us battle together, for our current and future generations.

YEAH, listening matters.