An Amazing 4 Step C.O.P.E. Formula

Kids these days carry around a lot of worry.

Where does this worry come from? - school, home, friends, sports, self awareness, emotions and more.

We will always have issues to face. The challenging moments will not disappear.

But imagine saying to yourself "ok I have a challenge and I will use my 4 step cope formula"

And here is how it goes....

C means you become a curious detective

O means you observe your feelings, thoughts and emotions

P means you throw some positivity into it e.g. use an affirmation

E means you explore your options

Will this solve the challenge? Maybe yes and maybe no. But the point is...it will help you deal with it the best way for you at any given moment.

Consider how good kids can feel when they feel less fearful about challenging moments because they can pull out their C.O.P.E. formula and use it in any creative way that suits them.

Lets look at an example:

Jessica is faced with the loss of her dog and she is feeling extremely sad.

It's ok and rather normal to feel this way. But let's get her moving gently away from sadness when the time is right.

Lets use the cope formula

Jessica can become curious about her feelings. This way she can allow the emotions to surface and she can be with them mindfully. Next Jessica can observe what happens in her body and mind. This way she gets to know how sadness from loss of her pet is affecting her. She becomes self aware. Then she throws gentle positivity into her experience. She decides that she will create a ritual to help her connect with her pet dog; she makes a card and writes all the beautiful memories down. Then she explores what to do next. She decides it's ok to set aside time to be sad and share moments about her loss. She makes a list of ideas to do when she feels sad. And she continues to do her usual routines in the day too.

Slowly she moves away from sadness, and does it safely.

Amanda Dounis [Psychotherapist]