Accept Me - How to Help Teenagers Breakdown Stereotypes
It's tough being a teenager! Adults need to work harder to breakdown stereotypes and help teens know they are accepted for who they are.
Being a teenager in today’s world is very difficult. Teenagers face expectations regarding needing to make money to be a success. They face stereotypes about how boys must act if they want to be men and girls face stereotypes about how they must act to be considered women. I hear teens tell me every day how overwhelmed and confused they are trying to fit into all the necessary stereotypes. They feel overwhelmed because at times they are not sure how to act and confused because they don’t agree with the stereotypes. They are not sure what to do. This is a lot of pressure for a 13-year-old child to be trying to cope with on a daily basis. It’s no surprise that many teens turn to drugs as a way to cope. It is also not a surprise that Cutting is at epidemic rates for teens and, according to The Center for Disease Control (CDC), suicide is now the second leading cause of death for teens.
Now, what if you don’t fit into the stereotypes? What if you suffer from depression? If you have a learning disability? Or if you are homosexual or bisexual? What do these teenagers do? This is how they were born and they cannot change that fact. Many of these teens will struggle trying to fit the stereotypes and also try desperately to hide from friends and family that they do not fit the teenage stereotypes. Some are lucky and parents or a teacher intervene in assisting them to get the help they need. Many are not so lucky and often choose suicide. Teenagers who are homosexual or questioning their sexuality are five times more likely than the average teen to think about and attempt suicide (CDC). These are very scary and sad facts.
The CDC found one in five teenagers are dealing with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety or stress. Many may think about psychotherapy but quickly block that option. Only “crazy people” need psychotherapy. If they had to go to therapy they are really a “loser”. For teenagers who are willing to try therapy, they often cannot find a therapist who treats teenagers or their family cannot afford it. Also for many cultures such as Latin or Asian, they believe that personal issues need to be resolved within the family and you would never share intimate family issues with strangers. For these teens, psychotherapy is not an option.
However, as a psychotherapist who specializes in treating teenagers, I hear daily that all they want is to be accepted for who they are and don’t want to always hide. The teen with depression or learning disabilities wants to be considered just as important as the star quarterback on the football team. They want this from their school, their friends, society and finally from their families. Is this too much to ask for?
These teenagers are not stealing or doing anything to be ashamed of, they are being themselves just the way they were born. Why can’t they be accepted and celebrated? The answer is they can! It is something I teach them in every session we have together. There are organizations such as Alive and Free in San Francisco and Challenge Day in the San Francisco Bay Area who work with teens and society so these teens can feel accepted being themselves.
Another organization addressing this issue is called Born This Way. It was started by Lady Gaga and works with teens and society so all teens feel accepted for who they are just the way they were born. Lady Gaga explains the mission of her foundation this way, “Safety, skills, and opportunity. Number one, I want everyone to feel safe in their community: school, home, whatever city you live in. Two: developing the skills that are needed to be a loving, accepting, and tolerant person, and to also inject that sentiment into all the people around you, being a supportive human being. And the third is opportunity. I believe once you feel safe in your environment and you acquire the skills to be a loving and accepting person, the opportunities for you are endless to become a great functioning human in society”.
The concept really is very simple. Why can’t we accept children and teenagers just the way they were born. Every person is unique and everyone has talents to contribute to the world. So why do we pressure boys into the stereotype that they must have big muscles and play sports to be a man? Why do we tell girls that boys are smarter and if someone touches them in a way they do not like it is their fault because of the clothes they are wearing. This is insane!
If we do away with the stereotypes and focus on teenagers liking their own personalities and bodies, we would have less cutting, suicide and drug use. We would also have many more teenagers who are happy and successful in life. Being happy is a successful life, not a big bank account. Let’s get started on helping teens. We need people to support more organizations like the ones I named above. If we do we can eliminate the stereotypes and stigma of not fitting a stereotype. We also need to make psychotherapy more accessible to all teenagers and remove the negative stigma associated with mental health care. Now some may think what I am proposing is impossible, just a dream. However, you are seeing more groups like the ones I mentioned open every year. We are seeing teenagers and parents being attracted to them. It is possible to improve the lives of children and teenagers. It may need to start with a dream. Dreams do come true look at what Walt Disney created with his dream.
Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience working with children and teenagers. He is on the nations advisory board for Alive and Free.
Michael is a qualified Child Psychotherapist, based in l, Pleasant Hill, United States.
With a commitment to mental health, Dr Rubino provides services in Italian and Spanish, including Advocacy, Assessment (Personality), Child and Adolescent Services, Counselling and Counselling (Trauma).
Dr Rubino has expertise in Abandonment, Abuse (Survivors of), Adolescent Counselling, Agoraphobia, Anger Management Issues, Anxiety Disorderss (Panic), Attention Deficit Disorders, Autism and Developmental Difficulty, Bipolar Mood Disorders and Child and/or Adolescent Issues.
Click here to schedule a session with Dr Rubino.
Important:
TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
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