19 Key Questions to Ask a Therapist Before the First Session

 

Table of Contents | Jump Ahead
 

1. What is your therapeutic approach?

2. How do you tailor therapy to individual needs?

3. How long do you expect therapy to last?

4. What should I expect from the first session?

5. What’s your view on homework or between-session work?

6. How do you measure progress in therapy?

7. How do you handle confidentiality?

8. How do you handle crises or emergency situations?

9. What kind of clients do you usually work with?

10. How do you create a safe and non-judgmental space?

11. How do you handle cultural, religious, or identity differences?

12. How do you support clients in achieving their goals?

13. What kind of boundaries do you set with clients?

14. How do you work with clients when the therapy feels stuck?

15. How do you handle feedback or client concerns?

16. What role do emotions play in your approach to therapy?

17. How often do you review the therapy process with clients?

18. What is your cancellation or rescheduling policy?

19. What are your fees, and do you accept insurance?

Key Takeaways

FAQs

Resources

---

 

1. What is your therapeutic approach?

Your therapist’s approach will shape the entire therapy process. Are they psychodynamic, focusing on uncovering unconscious patterns? Or perhaps they’re more cognitive-behavioural (CBT), which emphasises addressing thoughts and behaviours directly?
 

• Why it matters: Different therapeutic approaches suit different issues. For example, if you're seeking more structured guidance, CBT may be a better fit. If you're interested in exploring deep-rooted emotional patterns, psychodynamic therapy might be more helpful.
   
• Actionable tip: If you’re not sure which type of therapy fits your needs, explain your issues and see how the therapist proposes to address them. This can give you a feel for their style. 

 

 

2. How do you tailor therapy to individual needs?

Not all therapy is one-size-fits-all. Some therapists stick strictly to their chosen method, while others are more flexible, combining techniques.
 

• Why it matters: You want a therapist who will adjust their methods based on what works best for you, not just their favorite approach.
   
• Actionable tip: Listen for therapists who mention adapting to clients’ evolving needs or who use terms like “integrative” or “eclectic” therapy, indicating flexibility.

 

 

3. How long do you expect therapy to last?

Some therapists work short-term (8–12 sessions), focusing on immediate concerns, while others expect a longer journey.
 

• Why it matters: It’s important to know if the therapist expects to work with you for several months or even years, especially if you’re looking for faster solutions or have a limited budget.
   
• Actionable tip: If you’re more comfortable with open-ended therapy, ask how the therapist views progress over time.

 

 

4. What should I expect from the first session?

The first session sets the tone for the rest of your therapy. Some therapists prefer to dive into the issues right away, while others might spend more time on getting-to-know-you questions.

 

• Why it matters: This gives you insight into their pacing and how they build the therapeutic relationship.
   
• Actionable tip: Consider if their answer aligns with how comfortable you feel sharing personal details early on.

 

 

5. What’s your view on homework or between-session work?

Some therapists (especially CBT practitioners) often assign activities for you to complete between sessions to reinforce what’s discussed in therapy.
 

• Why it matters: If you're someone who thrives on structure, this might appeal to you. If not, it could feel overwhelming.
   
• Actionable tip: If homework sounds unappealing, explore how the therapist ensures progress without it.

 

 

6. How do you measure progress in therapy?

Different therapists gauge progress in various ways. Some focus on symptom reduction, while others emphasise personal growth or insight.
 

• Why it matters: You need a therapist who measures success in a way that aligns with your goals, whether it's overcoming anxiety or developing deeper self-awareness.
   
• Actionable tip: Ask if they periodically review your progress with you, so you can be sure you're both on the same page.

 

 

7. How do you handle confidentiality?

Your privacy in therapy is critical. Therapists are bound by strict confidentiality rules, but it’s helpful to know the specifics — especially regarding legal limitations or what happens in group or family therapy.

 

• Why it matters: Understanding these boundaries helps you feel safe sharing personal information.
   
• Actionable tip: If confidentiality is especially important to you (e.g., due to work or family issues), ensure the therapist’s practices are clear and align with your comfort level.

 

 

8. How do you handle crises or emergency situations?

Therapists typically aren't available 24/7, so it’s important to know how emergencies are handled outside of session times.
 

• Why it matters: Knowing what support is available when you're in distress helps avoid unnecessary anxiety between sessions.
   
• Actionable tip: Ask about the availability of phone or email contact and if they can provide crisis resources.

 

 

9. What kind of clients do you usually work with?

Each therapist has a different area of expertise or preferred clientele. Some specialise in trauma, others in relationship issues, and still others in mood disorders.
 

• Why it matters: If your therapist typically works with cases similar to yours, you can feel more confident in their ability to help you.
   
• Actionable tip: If you’re dealing with a specific issue like PTSD or chronic anxiety, ensure your therapist has experience with that.

 

 

10. How do you create a safe and non-judgmental space?

A key part of effective therapy is feeling accepted and free from judgment.
 

• Why it matters: The way a therapist responds to this question can offer insight into how they handle difficult topics such as shame, guilt, or trauma.
   
• Actionable tip: Listen for specific examples of how they make clients feel safe, and gauge whether their response feels comforting to you.

 

 

11. How do you handle cultural, religious, or identity differences?

Therapy is deeply personal, and your therapist should be able to respect and work within your cultural, religious, or identity context.
 

• Why it matters: Therapists should acknowledge diversity and avoid a one-size-fits-all approach.
   
• Actionable tip: If aspects of your identity are central to your therapy, see if the therapist has experience working with similar populations.

 

 

12. How do you support clients in achieving their goals?

Some therapists are more directive, offering advice and clear guidance, while others take a more client-led approach.
 

• Why it matters: Knowing how the therapist supports goal-setting and achievement gives you an idea of whether they align with your preferences.
   
• Actionable tip: If you're looking for more direction or advice, ensure the therapist takes a more active approach.

 

 

13. What kind of boundaries do you set with clients?

Healthy boundaries in therapy are essential for a professional, safe relationship.
 

• Why it matters: Clear boundaries help maintain the integrity of the therapeutic process.
   
• Actionable tip: Ensure your therapist sets boundaries that make you feel respected and safe, such as limits on physical contact, dual relationships, or after-hours communication.

 

 

14. How do you work with clients when the therapy feels stuck?

It’s natural for therapy to hit roadblocks from time to time. How your therapist handles these moments can significantly impact your progress.
 

• Why it matters: You want to know if the therapist has strategies for helping you move past stuck points rather than simply waiting them out.
   
• Actionable tip: Look for therapists who mention being proactive about discussing and working through challenges together.

 

 

15. How do you handle feedback or client concerns?

Therapy should be a collaborative process. If something isn’t working, you should feel comfortable discussing it with your therapist.
 

• Why it matters: A therapist who welcomes feedback helps foster a relationship where you can voice concerns without fear.
   
• Actionable tip: Ask how they typically handle it if a client feels therapy isn’t effective or if the client is uncomfortable.

 

 

16. What role do emotions play in your approach to therapy?

Some therapists focus heavily on exploring emotions, while others prioritise behaviour or cognition.
 

• Why it matters: If you're someone who processes through emotions, you’ll want a therapist who is comfortable and skilled at emotional exploration.
   
• Actionable tip: Therapists from humanistic or emotion-focused therapies might resonate if emotional depth is a priority for you.

 

 

17. How often do you review the therapy process with clients?

Periodic check-ins to reassess goals and methods can be essential for maintaining progress.
 

• Why it matters: Regular reviews help you and your therapist stay aligned on what’s working, what’s not, and what adjustments might be needed.
   
• Actionable tip: Ask how often they review progress and if they adjust the therapy plan based on evolving needs.

 

 

18. What is your cancellation or rescheduling policy?

Therapy is a commitment, but life happens. Knowing your therapist’s policies regarding missed sessions can help avoid unnecessary stress.
 

• Why it matters: Some therapists require strict advance notice for cancellations, while others are more flexible.
   
• Actionable tip: Be upfront about your availability and ensure the therapist’s policy fits your schedule.

 

 

19. What are your fees, and do you accept insurance?

Understanding the financial aspects of therapy from the start helps avoid future confusion or stress.
 

• Why it matters: Therapy can be a significant financial commitment, and knowing the details ensures you can plan accordingly.
   
• Actionable tip: Ask if they offer sliding scale fees or payment plans if affordability is a concern.

 

Key Takeaways

• Therapeutic Match: The relationship with your therapist is foundational, so look for someone who feels aligned with your personal values and therapeutic goals.
• Approach Matters: Different therapists use different methods (CBT, psychodynamic, humanistic, etc.), and finding one that matches your needs will impact your experience.
• Collaboration: Therapy works best when it’s a team effort. A therapist who welcomes feedback and regularly checks in is crucial for long-term progress.
• Boundaries and Safety: Clear boundaries set by the therapist ensure the therapeutic relationship remains professional and focused.
• Financial Clarity: Asking about fees and policies early on ensures transparency and helps avoid potential future complications.

 

FAQs

How do I know which therapeutic approach is best for me?

If you're new to therapy, ask your therapist to explain how their method would address your particular concerns. It’s helpful to share what you’re hoping to achieve (e.g., symptom relief vs. deep emotional exploration).

 

What if I feel uncomfortable with my therapist after the first session?

It’s okay to switch therapists if you don’t feel a connection or if their approach doesn’t suit you. Therapy is a deeply personal experience, and feeling comfortable is critical.

 

Can I see a therapist if I’m not in a crisis?

Absolutely. Therapy can be beneficial even if you’re not experiencing a significant crisis. Many people use therapy to work on personal growth, improve relationships, or manage everyday stress.

 

Is it normal to feel nervous before starting therapy?

Yes, it’s very common to feel nervous before starting therapy, especially if it’s your first time. Bringing up your concerns during your first session can help you feel more at ease.

 

How long should I stay in therapy?

The duration of therapy varies depending on your goals, the therapist’s approach, and your progress. Short-term therapies like CBT might last a few months, while deeper exploratory therapies can take longer.

 

Can I talk to my therapist about anything?

Therapy is a safe space where you can bring up anything you feel is important. Your therapist should be open to discussing any topic, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable it may feel.

 

How can I tell if therapy is working?

You’ll know therapy is working when you begin to notice positive changes, such as new insights, reduced symptoms, or improved emotional resilience. Regular check-ins with your therapist will help track progress.

 

“It’s never overreacting to ask for what you want and need.” ― Amy Poehler

 

 

Resources

NAMI - Lists ten essential questions to ask your psychotherapist, focusing on their approach, experience, and how they can support your mental health journey.

Medical News Today - Offers guidance on how to prepare for your first therapy session, including what to expect, how to set goals, and tips for making the most of the experience.

DBSA - Provides questions for young adults to consider asking at their first therapy appointment, helping to foster open communication and clarify expectations.