Signs You Are too Available to Your Partner

Spending time with, and being available to, your significant other is wonderful, but when you’re too available, it can have the opposite effect; you will not only seem desperate, but uninteresting and bland. It should be that both parties need to work a little. Ask yourself the following questions to see if you are too available.

1. “Yes” frequents your vocabulary. If you’re constantly saying yes to everything your partner asks or wants to do, then you’re too available. Don’t you have your plans? Don’t you just want to curl up on the couch and watch a movie, instead of going to some lame car show?

2. You immediately reply to any call or text. Umm…you’re in the shower. You should not be texting back if you’re in the shower. This is a big sign that you’re too available. It’s okay to reply right away if you’re not busy with anything, but if you’re in the middle of getting your teeth cleaned at the dentist and have to spit on your hygienist to communicate, you’ve got issues.

3. You apologize for missing texts/calls. The second you see a missed call because you were in a meeting or even just taking a quick nap, do you call back and immediately start apologizing and explaining yourself? Honestly, this sounds more desperate than you being nice. Instead, say a quick, “Oh sorry, what did you need?” It makes you much more mysterious and makes it seem like you have a life outside of your significant other.

4. You initiate most of the conversations. Texting her multiple times a day and chatting about your day seems not only too available but slightly desperate as well. If you’re busy with your own life—as you should be—then you shouldn’t have time to text 50 times a day.

5. You accept last-minute dates. It’s Friday at 4 PM, and she calls *which you pick up on the first ring, of course,* and asks if you want to do dinner at 6. Even though you already threw in a pizza and had prepared to lie on the couch *in PJs, stuffing your face* you excitedly say, “Of course,” turn off the oven, and head straight to the shower. This is certainly a sign that you’re way too available.

6. You let them reschedule last minute. On the other hand, perhaps it’s 6 PM and you’re freshly showered but get a text saying something “came up.” Now you’re left to change BACK into your PJs and try to down a half-cooked pizza.

Yeah, it’s no fun, but you graciously reply *immediately, I may add*, “No biggie!” and get on with your boring night. Letting your significant other reschedule things at the last minute without fuss doesn’t mean you’re “understanding.” It means you’re too available and don’t mind the random shift in plans. Let him/ her know his canceled plans are off-putting; you are not a doormat.

7 You cancel plans with your friends when they want to do something. I’m extremely guilty of this one, but it’s inexcusable. When you cancel plans you’ve made with your friends just because your partner wants to do lunch, it’s a sure sign you’re too available. Telling them no every once in a while is okay. It’s a good thing!

8 You don’t make plans with your friends in the hopes that she’ll want to do something. If you get invited out on a Saturday night and say no just because you’re thinking your significant other MIGHT be able to do something, then you’re too available in the worst possible way: you’re passively waiting for someone who isn’t necessarily interested.

9 Whenever she asks, you tell her you’re not busy—even though you are swamped with work and a new hobby. Or maybe you always tell her you’re not busy so she’ll ask to do something. Although this isn’t being too available, you are pretending to be—which is just as bad.

10 Your friends tell you that you’re too available. Listen to those friends, please! Because they’re probably the friends you keep ditching to go hang out with your new special someone. If a friend is telling you that you’re being too available *aka: ditching them or not making plans with them at all* then that’s a surefire sign that you are too available.

11 You frequently ask to spend time together. When you ask her every day to go to dinner or on a date, she’s going to realize that you don’t do much outside of spending time with him. Let her ask you—and then say no sometimes. Always having time available and wanting to fill that time with her is a definite sign that you have too much time available.

12 You plan your life around the possibility of him being present. “Should I join the golf club, Hmmm…if I do, then I won’t be able to do dinners with her three days a week…” So you don’t join because, just maybe, you’ll be busy with your special someone. Not joining in on activities because you might be spending your time with her means that you’re making yourself far too available—and unnecessarily so.

13 People ask if you ever spend time apart. Because it seems like everything you ever do *which, of course, isn’t much; you need to have an open schedule for your fella after all* is with your significant other. People are curious about your other hobbies and goals…but you can’t seem to answer fully without leaving her out of the equation.

Remember, the chase is part of the fun, so give your lady something to run after!