Romantic Relationships -The Space For Our Greatest Growth
Romantic relationships often begin unconsciously. We may experience intense attraction and elevated feelings which we interpret as love.
It is becoming increasingly common knowledge that many of us live our lives unaware of self-limiting patterns - mental and emotional - which sabotage our ability to experience success, joy and fulfillment. This will obviously have a negative impact on one or more of the key areas of our life: relationships, health and finances.
A key example where this commonly occurs is in the area of our relationships. Romantic relationships often begin unconsciously. We may experience intense attraction and elevated feelings which we interpret as love. This is natural and can be perfectly okay, but it’s important for us to realize that we may be driven by the powerful chemistry of co-dependency. Our shadow beliefs and our unconscious, unmet emotional needs result in transferences and projections that become powerful ‘attractors’ to magnetically bring us together in the initial phase of relationship. This person feels right for us; our needs are being met. We naturally mistake this experience for love.
When the romance fades
Over time this romantic magnetic attraction inevitably fades. It might seem like the relationship is not working so well after all. But the truth is, now the stage is set for our most significant growth opportunities. These are signalled precisely at the moments when we begin to be impacted by behaviours and aspects of our partner's personality that we had previously been blinded to during the initial romantic phase. At this point many people might decide to exit the relationship, when in truth the relationship has wonderful potential.
It is now, when our buttons are being pushed – that if we are willing to be humble, vulnerable, open and honest - we may discover that we're being gifted with a chance for new awakening, deeper meaning and new depth in the relationship. This is the golden opportunity to go deeper, to expand our consciousness, to become aware of and let go of our limiting beliefs, habitual behaviours and patterns of reactivity that not only fail to serve us, but actually undermine the quality of everything in our life, especially our close relationships.
Our choice: resentful victim or emotional maturity
One choice we have is to retreat into victim mode, blaming our partner for our unhappiness, for problems in the relationship, and even for our own personal failures. This is, sadly, the default pattern for many people. In this situation people either continue to perpetuate a miserable status quo, with repressed resentment and bitterness building up more and more over time. Or else the relationship may explode, ending in pain, resentment and a sense of failure.
The alternative choice we have is to take responsibility for our own emotional immaturity, our unconscious blocks, and instead align ourselves to a way of being that places a high value on personal growth in a context of open communication, authenticity, respect and commitment. We can begin to empower ourselves to explore the great gifts of awareness and realize that emotional maturity is not only a possibility but is actually a necessity for living a fulfilled and joyful life.
If you are ready to explore your own unconscious patterns in a deeper way and discover new pathways to fulfilment and joy that will impact everything in your life, a competent life coach or
therapist
can support you to achieve the meaningful changes in your life that you want.
Rephael (Ray) Perkel
is a life coach and EFT practitioner with over 12 years of experience in helping people to understand themselves more deeply. Using a powerful combination of cognitive methods and energy therapy techniques, he empowers his clients to reconnect to their own special qualities and strengths and discover their own pathway to emotional freedom, fulfilment and joy.
Rephael is a qualified Professional Counsellor, based in Highlands North, Johannesburg, South Africa.
With a commitment to mental health, Perkel provides services in English, including Coaching (Life), Online Counselling / Phone Therapy, Relationship Counselling, Therapy (Online) and Therapy (Personal Growth).
Perkel has expertise in Abuse, Addiction, Chronic Illness, Phobias, Self-Esteem, Shame, Social Anxiety / Phobia and Trauma.
Click here to schedule a session with Perkel.
Important:
TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
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