Rebuilding Broken Trust
Broken trust can shake everything—but with time, care, and effort, it can be rebuilt. Trust helps us feel safe, connected, and loved.
Trust is the foundation of all real relationships. No matter how comfortable life may seem, people need connection and closeness with others. A comfortable life cannot replace meaningful relationships. In this way, relationships are a deep and essential need—and trust is what makes them possible.
Someone who feels safe and secure believes they will be loved by their family, supported when in need, respected by those they respect, and protected from harm. They shape their relationships based on this belief.
When trust is broken, it can shake a person’s whole view of relationships and life. There are two main reasons why trust is lost:
- Not getting what you expected from someone (like care, support, or help),
- Facing something unexpected and hurtful (like rudeness or harsh words).
The first is a form of neglect, and the second is mistreatment. Both damage trust and make it harder to trust again.
A loss of trust affects many areas of life: thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and relationships.
First, it changes how people think. The person may start to believe the world is unsafe, that even close people can hurt them, and that trusting anyone is dangerous. They may feel like nothing will ever be the same again. And that belief brings hopelessness.
These thoughts also affect emotions. The person feels anxious, constantly on edge, and afraid of being hurt again. Their heart aches. It’s like a vase that has shattered. Even if you glue the pieces back together, it will never be quite the same.
When it comes to behaviour, we often see avoidance and control. A person may isolate themselves, pull back from others emotionally, and instead invest in animals or routines where they feel safer. While this may protect them from pain, it also keeps them from forming deep connections with people.
The most affected area, though, is relationships. Without trust, people can’t truly open up, feel close, or build a deep bond. The relationship stays shallow, distant, and lacks real warmth. In time, this emotional distance can lead to feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, and even mental health struggles like anxiety or depression.
All of this shows just how much damage broken trust can cause. To heal and protect ourselves from future harm, we need to restore our ability to trust. But rebuilding trust is not easy. It takes time.
Both the one who caused the harm and the one who was hurt need to take responsibility. Each step toward healing can become a building block for trust.
The one who caused the damage should try to make things right. This means being honest, showing care through actions and words, giving the other person time, avoiding more hurtful behaviours, being patient, and understanding their pain.
And the person who was hurt? It’s normal for them to be cautious. Trust is valuable, and it’s okay not to give it easily. Still, if they want to rebuild, it helps to avoid thinking in extremes, not to shut themselves off, to stay open to connection, and to recognise the other person’s efforts—no matter how small.
Repeated positive experiences and not repeating old mistakes are key to rebuilding trust.
Trust is one of our most basic needs—and it’s precious. The damage caused by losing trust can only be healed by building it back, slowly and with care. None of us want to live in fear or always be on guard. We all need trust. It helps us connect, heal, and feel safe enough to be vulnerable again.
Emine is a qualified Licensed Clinical Psychologist, based in Osmaniye, Turkey.
With a commitment to mental health, Özdemir provides services in Turkish, including Assessment (Personality), Dream Analysis, Psychoeducation, Psychology (Clinical), Psychotherapy (CBT), Psychotherapy (EMDR), Psychotherapy (Psychodynamic), Training (Communication Skills) and Training (Life Skills).
Özdemir has expertise in Anxiety Disorders, Bereavement and Loss, Depression, Dreams, Obsessions and Compulsions (OCD), Personality Disorders (Borderline), Relationship Problems and Trauma.
Click here to schedule a session with Özdemir.
Important:
TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
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