Pregnancy, birth and entry into parenthood in a time of crisis.
Media, society, family and friends may often encourage expectant parents to perceive pregnancy as a happy and momentous occasion.
Whilst much may be conveyed about the good that can be anticipated, very little is frequently shared about likely challenges - beyond the tales of sleepless nights. As such, pregnancy is often promoted as an experience that should be approached with gratitude and enthusiasm.
The reality may however at times feel somewhat different. Irrespective of whether a pregnancy is planned or unplanned, it is likely to bring about both physiological and psychological changes and challenges. By its very nature, pregnancy in and of itself may be experienced as a stressful or even traumatic life event. Stress and trauma may be further exacerbated by associated biomedical or psychosocial factors. The latter highlights that pregnancy is not an experience that occurs within a contextual vacuum. On the contrary, the experience of pregnancy is likely to be founded on the climate of preceding systemic and situational dynamics, which includes the presence or absence of pivotal relationships and support structures.
Pregnancy and entry into parenthood is therefore in need of closer attention in terms of possible psychosocial and psychological support. This need has been intensified with the advent of COVID-19 as a global crisis. The increasing prevalence of the virus has resulted in a national lockdown and physical distancing. This, in turn, may give rise to feelings of social distancing, social isolation and loneliness. The escalation of COVID-19 as an unprecedented global dilemma has therefore given rise to a myriad of new anxieties imagined and feared by expectant parents and those who have recently entered parenthood. These may include fears pertaining to maternal health as well as infant mortality. Simple acts of touching and embracing that may generally have been welcomed as forms of nurturance and holding, now hold the duplicity to health and life itself.
It is therefore acknowledged that the fears of expectant and new parents are not merely fantasies, but based on the very real challenges presented. These include altered birthing experiences, probable reduced sense of safety and security in hospital and clinic settings, as well as the reduced availability of support structures and the assurance of financial stability.
It is recognised that birthing experiences are often very different than anticipated. Nonetheless, the presence of COVID-19 in hospital and clinic settings has had concrete implications impeding on the process. This includes the presence or absence of support structures preceding the birthing process as well as the implications on visitations immediately thereafter. These circumstances are perpetuated with physical and social distancing and its impact on the social support structure after birth - within the home context and at the inception of parenthood.
For many parents, the reality of infant survival may appease fears pertaining to loss and death. However, the current climate of fear and anxiety may promote the endurance of dread and doubt even after a successful birthing experience and the arrival of a healthy infant. In contrast, high-risk pregnancies and complex birthing experiences remain unexplored predicaments. The implications of COVID-19 remain mostly unclear pertaining to infant survival and its impact on support during neonatal health care.
It is increasingly recognised that anxiety and stress during pregnancy and early parenthood not only influence parental wellbeing, but have a significant impact on infant physiological and psychological wellbeing as well. Research indicates that the first 1000 days of an infant’s life is particularly vulnerable to adverse experiences. There is however assurance that the quality and consistency of parenting practices can serve as a fundamental protective factor. Quality, consistent and nurturing parenting practices may, however, feel like a considerable task for parents in a context occupied with panic and distress. These are perplexing feelings that serve to inhibit a parent’s capacity to be mindful of their thoughts, emotions and consequent behaviour. This, in turn, has further implications for the capacity to connect and form relational bonds. The latter may lend increased vulnerability to either the parent-couple relationship, the parent-infant relationship or both.
Herewith is, therefore, an acknowledgement of the chaotic contradiction of welcoming life, whilst fearing loss and death. This acknowledgement further serves as a source of reassurance that it is understandable to mourn a loss that is unrelated to human life. The loss of a hoped-for experience is equally deserving of mourning and processing. That the sharing and processing of sad, overwhelmed and uncertain feelings have a critical place in any pregnancy and parenting process. The hope that remains is, therefore, the possibility of sharing these conflicting feelings beyond the boundaries presented by physical distancing. This, however, calls for a leap to be taken by many… to speak about that which has mostly remained unspoken. An exploration and allowance of these vulnerable feelings may allow for a bridge from social distancing to social connection. As such, promoting a sense of holding for those experiencing pregnancy, birth and entry into parenthood in a time of crises.
Lynne Goldschmidt is a counselling psychologist. She holds a Master’s degree in Community-Based Counselling Psychology with distinction from the University of Witwatersrand as well as a Master’s degree in Social and Public Policy with merit from the University of Leeds. She has a special interest in attachment-based work and her therapeutic work focusses on parent-infant and caregiver-infant psychotherapy, as well as the role of early childhood experiences and attachment in adulthood.
Photo by Andrea Bertozzini on Unsplash
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