Personal boundaries in pandemic

It has been a year since our lifestyles changed upside down. We work from homes, chat from homes, come down with covid at homes. How does it impact our private lives?

According to our colleagues' analysis, we can reckon two opposing post-pandemic scenarios in families. It turned out that lockdown conditions served as a catalytic agent for the reaction of 'substances' that have already been there. In other words, those families that managed to build up healthy, trustful relationships went for another child, improved their living conditions, changed jobs seeking more satisfaction and better career prospects or simply greater work-life balance. Others, on the contrary, failed to get through home confinement with their 'halves' and, as often the case, suffered from having discovered what a wrong track they were on in general and how much they crossed each other's boundaries long before the pandemic imprisonment, in particular.

Being inspired by my clients and their enthusiasm to win their happiness back, I am now pleased to share the main indicators of crossed personal boundaries that become identifiable and recognizable, especially in confinement conditions.

Signal 1

Crossing PHYSICAL borders. You don't have to be a guru in psychology to notice that your family member breaks into your room (or what is worse, doesn't allow you to close the door in your room) without asking for permission, frequently bothers you when you are in the middle of doing something, uses your possessions, eats up your food share, budget share, etc. Generally speaking, when a member of your family doesn't respect your me-time, me-space, me-share in family resources that's a serious cause for concern, and should alarm you to take action.

Signal 2

Crossing mental and spiritual borders.

That can be more difficult to evince on the spot, but observation, trust in yourself and inner peace are the basics that help you not miss out on the trespass. You are the first person people complain to, to help out, you feel you work for 911, you are obliged to make-it-all: money issue, house chores, the kids with their assignments, parents pour out their troubles on you etc. All these signal that the person doesn't have healthy, complete inner structures to build, watch and protect personal boundaries.

Tips for setting personal boundaries in the challenging pandemic realm

* set rules to protect your physical boundaries, negotiate usage of gadgets (be objective, argumentative and respectful), knocking on your door for permission to open it, define household responsibilities clearly and strictly, watch and protect your wellbeing and comfort considering that other members of your family deserve and seek the same attitudes.

* boost your human dignity, avoid uncertainty, when you feel something is wrong, discuss it on the spot, no matter how much your opponent is older, more influential, or whatever. Respectful, sincere, sensible expression of your thoughts and emotions always raise chances to build up healthy and happy relationships. Please don't ignore your body unpleasant signals; they usually matter.

If you want to improve and save this world, start with one person - you!

Yours

Elena Vishnevskaya (Elvi)