How to Age Mindfully

Strategies to live more mindfully seem to be everywhere these days.

There are mindfulness smartphone apps and articles on how to shop, eat, and even walk mindfully.

As a psychologist in Los Angeles and expert on mindfulness, I love all this newfound interest in my field. But for a long time, I felt that something was missing. I could easily find tips on how to buy bananas at the grocery store mindfully, but there was little to no advice on how to mindfully do the one thing we do all day, every day: age. I wondered: Is there a way to age mindfully?

A few years ago, I set out to answer that question. I read research studies, collected accounts of people who grew more successful and fulfilled as they get older, and spoke with clients, friends, and family about their experience with ageing . The answer to the question “Is there a way to age mindfully?” is a resounding “Yes!”

These five secrets to mindful ageing are a good place to start:

1. Adopt a mindset of realistic positivity. If unrealistic positivity is the Pollyannaish everything-is-puppies-and-rainbows optimism that denies the existence of anything negative, and realism is the life-is-hard-and-then-you-die pessimistic attitude, then realistic positivity is the middle ground. When you adopt the mindset of realistic positivity, you don’t deny the negative parts of ageing, but you don’t dwell on them, either. You accept what is and imagine what could be. You ask yourself, “What would I love?”

2. Let go of what is no longer serving you. The older you get, the more you should be living your truth, on your own terms. You probably know yourself pretty well by now, and much of that self-knowledge is likely hard-earned, so why are you still living according to others’ expectations and desires? If you’ve always put your needs second, third, or dead last, the time to stop is now. That’s especially true if your child-rearing or career-ladder-climbing days are behind you. It’s no longer selfish or unwise to put your needs first; it’s necessary. This is your life, and it won’t last forever.

3. Find your joy and live your dream. What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Whatever your answer to that question is, is what you should dedicate your life to. If that means travelling around the world, start planning your trip today. If that means writing a novel, what are you waiting for? When you spend your days doing what you love and living your dream, there is no such thing as failure.

4. Make new friends, keep the old, and love with all your heart. There is no age at which you must resign yourself to singlehood or give up on the romance with your partner. And there’s no age at which you can no longer make new friends or mend friendships you thought lost. Make use of the internet by joining a dating site geared toward people your age or look up long lost pals on Facebook. Get out into the real world, too, and take a class or join a group where you can meet cool new people. If you’re post-menopause or andropause and in a relationship, talk to your partner about how you can incorporate new elements into foreplay. When our bodies stop producing baby-making hormones, it’s oxytocin, the love and closeness hormone, that takes centre stage in our sex lives.

5. Exercise your body and engage your mind Scientists are only just learning about the connections between our bodies and our minds. Did you know that physical exercise can help your memory? Or that by doing puzzles and playing games you can actually improve your cognitive skills as you age? But if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. That goes for both your body and your brain.

Mindful ageing means growing happier and more fulfilled, confident, and engaged as you grow older. There’s no such thing as over the hill when you’re at the top of the mountain. Won’t you climb with me?

If these points spoke to you in some way, consider taking the journey a little further and reading my new book, Mindful Aging .