❝Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples and families rebuild trust and closeness by addressing the emotions beneath conflict. Grounded in attachment science, it guides people toward secure, lasting connection through understanding, empathy, and emotional safety.❞
Important: TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact alocal emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting alocal helpline.
“Our in-house team, including world-class mental health professionals, publishes high-quality articles to raise awareness, guide your therapeutic journey, and help you find the right therapy and therapists. All articles are reviewed and written by or under the supervision of licensed mental health professionals.”
TherapyRoute is a mental health resource platform connecting individuals with qualified therapists. Our team curates valuable mental health information and provides resources to help you find the right professional support for your needs.
❝Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples and families rebuild trust and closeness by addressing the emotions beneath conflict. Grounded in attachment science, it guides people toward secure, lasting connection through understanding, empathy, and emotional safety.❞
Important: TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact alocal emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting alocal helpline.
“Our in-house team, including world-class mental health professionals, publishes high-quality articles to raise awareness, guide your therapeutic journey, and help you find the right therapy and therapists. All articles are reviewed and written by or under the supervision of licensed mental health professionals.”
TherapyRoute is a mental health resource platform connecting individuals with qualified therapists. Our team curates valuable mental health information and provides resources to help you find the right professional support for your needs.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a research-based approach to couples and family therapy that focuses on adult attachment and bonding. Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT helps couples understand and change the negative patterns in their relationship by addressing the underlying emotions and attachment needs. The therapy is based on the idea that we all have a fundamental need for secure emotional connection, and relationship problems often stem from threats to this bond.
Therapy should be personal. Therapists listed on TherapyRoute are qualified, independent, and free to answer to you – no scripts, algorithms, or company policies.
EFT is built on attachment theory, which explains how our early relationships shape how we connect with others throughout life. The therapy helps couples:
Understand Attachment Styles:
Secure - comfortable with intimacy and independence
Anxious - fears abandonment, seeks reassurance
Avoidant - uncomfortable with closeness, values independence
Disorganised - inconsistent patterns, often from trauma
The EFT Process:
EFT follows a structured approach with three stages and nine steps:
Stage 1: De-escalation (Steps 1-4)
Identify negative interaction patterns
Access underlying emotions
Reframe problems in attachment terms
Reframe the cycle as the enemy, not each other
Stage 2: Restructuring (Steps 5-7)
Access disowned attachment needs and fears
Promote acceptance of partner's experience
Facilitate expression of needs and wants
Stage 3: Consolidation (Steps 8-9)
Develop new solutions to old problems
Consolidate new positions and cycles
What to Expect in Therapy
Initial Sessions:
Assessment of relationship history and current challenges
Identification of negative interaction patterns
Understanding each partner's attachment style
Setting goals for therapy
During Treatment:
Sessions typically last 50-90 minutes
Usually involves 8-20 sessions
Both partners attend sessions together
Focus on emotions and underlying needs
Practice new ways of communicating and connecting
The Therapeutic Process:
Therapist helps you recognise negative cycles
Exploration of emotions beneath surface conflicts
Learning to express needs and fears safely
Developing new patterns of interaction
Building secure emotional connection
Key Concepts and Techniques
Negative Cycles:
Most couples get stuck in predictable patterns:
Pursue-Withdraw - one partner seeks connection, the other pulls away
Attack-Defend - both partners become critical and defensive
Withdraw-Withdraw - both partners shut down and avoid
Accessing Primary Emotions:
Moving beyond anger to hurt, fear, or longing
Understanding what emotions are really about
Learning to express vulnerable feelings safely
Recognising attachment needs behind emotions
Creating Secure Connection:
Building emotional safety in the relationship
Learning to be accessible, responsive, and engaged
Developing empathy for partner's experience
Creating positive cycles of connection
Conditions It Helps
EFT has been shown effective for:
Relationship distress and conflict
Communication problems
Infidelity recovery
Sexual intimacy issues
Depression in the context of relationship problems
Trauma affecting relationships
Blended family challenges
LGBTQ+ relationship concerns
Cultural and intercultural relationship issues
Benefits
Highly effective - 70-73% of couples show significant improvement
Lasting results - improvements maintained at 2-year follow-up
Addresses root causes - focuses on underlying attachment needs
Emotionally healing - helps process difficult emotions safely
Strengthens bond - creates deeper emotional connection
Evidence-based - supported by over 30 years of research
What Makes EFT Unique
Focus on Emotions:
Emotions are seen as adaptive and informative
Helps couples access and express feelings safely
Teaches emotional regulation skills
Creates emotional safety in the relationship
Attachment Perspective:
Based on scientific understanding of human bonding
Addresses fundamental need for secure connection
Helps heal attachment injuries
Creates lasting change in relationship patterns
Systemic Approach:
Focuses on interaction patterns, not individual pathology
Both partners are seen as contributing to problems and solutions
Changes one person's response to change the entire system
Emphasises strengths and resilience
Finding an EFT Therapist
Look for therapists who:
Are trained and certified in EFT
Have experience with couples therapy
Are licensed mental health professionals
Participate in ongoing EFT training and supervision
Can explain attachment theory and EFT principles
Questions to Ask:
What level of EFT training do you have?
Are you certified or working toward certification?
How long have you been practising EFT?
What does your typical treatment process look like?
How do you handle individual sessions if needed?
EFT for Individuals and Families
EFT for Individuals (EFIT):
Helps individuals understand their attachment patterns
Addresses relationship difficulties from individual perspective
Useful when partner won't attend couples therapy
Focuses on emotional processing and self-awareness
EFT for Families (EFFT):
Adapted for family relationships
Helps improve parent-child connections
Addresses family trauma and attachment injuries
Strengthens family bonds and communication
Self-Help Resources
Books by Sue Johnson:
"Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love"
"Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships"
"Attachment in Psychotherapy"
Online Resources:
International Centre for Excellence in EFT (ICEEFT) website
Hold Me Tight workshops for couples
Online EFT courses and resources
Research and Effectiveness
EFT is one of the most researched approaches to couples therapy:
70-73% of couples show significant improvement
90% show some improvement
Results maintained at 2-year follow-up
Effective across different cultures and relationship types
Helps with both relationship satisfaction and individual mental health
Studies show EFT helps couples:
Reduce relationship distress
Improve communication and intimacy
Increase relationship satisfaction
Develop more secure attachment
Maintain improvements over time
Remember
Healthy relationships require emotional safety and secure connection. EFT provides a roadmap for creating this safety and healing relationship wounds. The process can be challenging as it involves being vulnerable, but it leads to deeper, more satisfying relationships. Change is possible at any stage of a relationship when both partners are willing to engage in the process.
Davila, J., & Cobb, R. J. (2003). Predicting change in self-reported and interviewer-assessed adult attachment: Tests of the individual difference and life stress models of attachment change. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29(7), 859-870. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15018673
This information is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional assessment or treatment. EFT is an evidence-based approach to couples and family therapy, but individual needs vary; consult a licensed clinician to determine suitability and a personalised plan. If safety concerns or relationship distress are significant, seek professional guidance promptly.
Case Conceptualisation
Table of Contents Definition Key Characteristics Theoretical Background Clinical Applications Conceptualisation Process International Perspectives Research and Evidence P...
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a research-based approach to couples and family therapy that focuses on adult attachment and bonding. Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT helps couples understand and change the negative patterns in their relationship by addressing the underlying emotions and attachment needs. The therapy is based on the idea that we all have a fundamental need for secure emotional connection, and relationship problems often stem from threats to this bond.
Therapy should be personal. Therapists listed on TherapyRoute are qualified, independent, and free to answer to you – no scripts, algorithms, or company policies.
EFT is built on attachment theory, which explains how our early relationships shape how we connect with others throughout life. The therapy helps couples:
Understand Attachment Styles:
Secure - comfortable with intimacy and independence
Anxious - fears abandonment, seeks reassurance
Avoidant - uncomfortable with closeness, values independence
Disorganised - inconsistent patterns, often from trauma
The EFT Process:
EFT follows a structured approach with three stages and nine steps:
Stage 1: De-escalation (Steps 1-4)
Identify negative interaction patterns
Access underlying emotions
Reframe problems in attachment terms
Reframe the cycle as the enemy, not each other
Stage 2: Restructuring (Steps 5-7)
Access disowned attachment needs and fears
Promote acceptance of partner's experience
Facilitate expression of needs and wants
Stage 3: Consolidation (Steps 8-9)
Develop new solutions to old problems
Consolidate new positions and cycles
What to Expect in Therapy
Initial Sessions:
Assessment of relationship history and current challenges
Identification of negative interaction patterns
Understanding each partner's attachment style
Setting goals for therapy
During Treatment:
Sessions typically last 50-90 minutes
Usually involves 8-20 sessions
Both partners attend sessions together
Focus on emotions and underlying needs
Practice new ways of communicating and connecting
The Therapeutic Process:
Therapist helps you recognise negative cycles
Exploration of emotions beneath surface conflicts
Learning to express needs and fears safely
Developing new patterns of interaction
Building secure emotional connection
Key Concepts and Techniques
Negative Cycles:
Most couples get stuck in predictable patterns:
Pursue-Withdraw - one partner seeks connection, the other pulls away
Attack-Defend - both partners become critical and defensive
Withdraw-Withdraw - both partners shut down and avoid
Accessing Primary Emotions:
Moving beyond anger to hurt, fear, or longing
Understanding what emotions are really about
Learning to express vulnerable feelings safely
Recognising attachment needs behind emotions
Creating Secure Connection:
Building emotional safety in the relationship
Learning to be accessible, responsive, and engaged
Developing empathy for partner's experience
Creating positive cycles of connection
Conditions It Helps
EFT has been shown effective for:
Relationship distress and conflict
Communication problems
Infidelity recovery
Sexual intimacy issues
Depression in the context of relationship problems
Trauma affecting relationships
Blended family challenges
LGBTQ+ relationship concerns
Cultural and intercultural relationship issues
Benefits
Highly effective - 70-73% of couples show significant improvement
Lasting results - improvements maintained at 2-year follow-up
Addresses root causes - focuses on underlying attachment needs
Emotionally healing - helps process difficult emotions safely
Strengthens bond - creates deeper emotional connection
Evidence-based - supported by over 30 years of research
What Makes EFT Unique
Focus on Emotions:
Emotions are seen as adaptive and informative
Helps couples access and express feelings safely
Teaches emotional regulation skills
Creates emotional safety in the relationship
Attachment Perspective:
Based on scientific understanding of human bonding
Addresses fundamental need for secure connection
Helps heal attachment injuries
Creates lasting change in relationship patterns
Systemic Approach:
Focuses on interaction patterns, not individual pathology
Both partners are seen as contributing to problems and solutions
Changes one person's response to change the entire system
Emphasises strengths and resilience
Finding an EFT Therapist
Look for therapists who:
Are trained and certified in EFT
Have experience with couples therapy
Are licensed mental health professionals
Participate in ongoing EFT training and supervision
Can explain attachment theory and EFT principles
Questions to Ask:
What level of EFT training do you have?
Are you certified or working toward certification?
How long have you been practising EFT?
What does your typical treatment process look like?
How do you handle individual sessions if needed?
EFT for Individuals and Families
EFT for Individuals (EFIT):
Helps individuals understand their attachment patterns
Addresses relationship difficulties from individual perspective
Useful when partner won't attend couples therapy
Focuses on emotional processing and self-awareness
EFT for Families (EFFT):
Adapted for family relationships
Helps improve parent-child connections
Addresses family trauma and attachment injuries
Strengthens family bonds and communication
Self-Help Resources
Books by Sue Johnson:
"Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love"
"Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships"
"Attachment in Psychotherapy"
Online Resources:
International Centre for Excellence in EFT (ICEEFT) website
Hold Me Tight workshops for couples
Online EFT courses and resources
Research and Effectiveness
EFT is one of the most researched approaches to couples therapy:
70-73% of couples show significant improvement
90% show some improvement
Results maintained at 2-year follow-up
Effective across different cultures and relationship types
Helps with both relationship satisfaction and individual mental health
Studies show EFT helps couples:
Reduce relationship distress
Improve communication and intimacy
Increase relationship satisfaction
Develop more secure attachment
Maintain improvements over time
Remember
Healthy relationships require emotional safety and secure connection. EFT provides a roadmap for creating this safety and healing relationship wounds. The process can be challenging as it involves being vulnerable, but it leads to deeper, more satisfying relationships. Change is possible at any stage of a relationship when both partners are willing to engage in the process.
Davila, J., & Cobb, R. J. (2003). Predicting change in self-reported and interviewer-assessed adult attachment: Tests of the individual difference and life stress models of attachment change. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29(7), 859-870. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15018673
This information is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional assessment or treatment. EFT is an evidence-based approach to couples and family therapy, but individual needs vary; consult a licensed clinician to determine suitability and a personalised plan. If safety concerns or relationship distress are significant, seek professional guidance promptly.
Case Conceptualisation
Table of Contents Definition Key Characteristics Theoretical Background Clinical Applications Conceptualisation Process International Perspectives Research and Evidence P...
