Dr Smriti Vallath PhD

My approach to psychotherapy and supervision is grounded in safe spaces. Both ways. My clients are held accuntable if they're disrespectful, just as much as I'm. But that's not where the safety is. Safety lies in he fact that my clients know that even when I hold them accountable, they're never hurt, threatened or abandoned.

If you like technical words- then my approach is rooted in strengths based, feedback-informed, queer affirmative practices. Choice and autonomy is fostered in my sessions.

How I manage fees

It is a sad reality that access to reliable and supportive mental health services remains a challenge despite all the advances we make. I offer multiple concessions and routes that facilitate affordability and payments. Honestly, if I could, I'd do this for free.

Additional facts about my Practice

When people hear the word "trauma" the instant thought is "woah! something hard" but nope, trauma isn't about BIGNESS or being hard, it's not about the event, it's about the experience. Did you know that even some dreams could be "traumatic" ? Trauma is simply an outcome of stress. The intensity, duration and experience of stress is what determines whether it's something that passes or whether it's trauma. It gets more complex thought, especially when you consider that if the stress is recurring, it can become traumatic. But don't be alarmed, that's what trauma informed therapy does. It pays attention to experiences, instead of events. It's not about "oh that happened to me" but how you truly felt when that happened to you, even if you have seemingly forgotten it now.

Has therapy failed you in the past?

Sorry! this is one of the worst things to happen. Therapies don't work for a variety of reasons, but just because it didn't then, doesn't mean it won't now. Do you have experiences that were not so good before but then somehow has changed? That's because life is dynamic, people are always changing, you're always changing. Try it again. Make sure you find a therapist you feel safe with, where you heartbeat and breathing is low and usual. Where you feel like you can say anything, and they won't reject or abandon you. I promise it will be different with the right therapist. Yes! Like dating :P

How to choose a therapist

Choosing a therapist is one of the hardest things to do in therapy. I myself have struggled to find the right fit many times, but I promise it does eventually pay off.

Here are my recommendations:

If you're facing urgent needs, then find someone qualified and at least somewhat matching your beliefs and ideas. Start there, gain some grounding and then when you're, if you need to, you can always find someone else.

If you're needs aren't as urgent and can wait, then best to scout for the one therapist that will suit you. Now, remember, the therapeutic relationship, like any other relationship does need work, from both persons/groups. But largely you do need to find someone you can feel safe with. A lot of times, we misunderstand safety. So listen to the body, it will tell you. The way your heart beats in sessions before even really starting anything, or your breathing, the way you feel before and after sessions etc tell you a lot about safety. Most importantly, you should find someone YOU can have this conversation with. For example, my clients and I talk about, quite freely, regarding them finding a different therapist if they feel they need it. Or we talk about their thoughts on whether or not I'm the right fit for them, or how I might be able to change or modify my behaviour to work for them. My clients are not threatened to say "No Smriti, you're wrong..." etc.

You must find a therapist that you can be comfortable with even if they challenge you- the challenge may be uncomfortable but not the way it's done. These things matter alongside qualifications, if not more. Gabor Mate said that it's your relationship with the therapist that predicts recovery and healing more than anything else. I agree, you can't change anything if you're feeling unsafe. No thriving when surviving. You need to be living.

Connect with me for more. In addition to therapy I also offer consultations for such purposes.