Dr Nimesh George Mphil (RCI) PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist,
Support group Moderator
Bengaluru.
Services
Existence & Struggles
We are all born into a small space which is “ours” with a few relationships in that space where we hope for and pursue safety, belongingness & recognition. Belonging in that space gives us our first sense of identity. Later on we discover more spaces and relationships within them. The dynamic convergence of these spaces molds the experiences in our bodies, creates memories, generates emotional events and shapes our beliefs and responses. Unfulfillment of core emotional needs in these spaces leads to pain and suffering. of fear, loneliness and shame. Our struggles may go unnoticed and misunderstood, sometimes by others and sometimes by ourselves.
I pursue creating small spaces for those in need of support, for those in need to be listened to, for those who live in constant struggle with themselves, for those who are lost in their relationships, for those who fear judgement and for those marred by doubts of their worth and deservingness. i provide these spaces founded on kindness, patience and empathy.
I dedicate these spaces to my clients to jointly explore emotional pain; which is defined as “response to an injury that prevents or violates the fulfillment of basic human needs of being loved, safe and acknowledged ” and to encounter pain is inevitable.
Pain is living in Sha dows of hurt that has already happened, afraid and lost about what to change
Avoiding Pain
Our strategies to deal with pain through numbing, disassociating, overlooking the experience, through rage and anger, through worrying and rumination only takes us further away from ourselves, gathering more silence and loss on the way.
My Efforts
My efforts are aimed at separating the emotional experiences from accounts of events,
Identify pain lying deep within us
Understand one's unfulfilled needs associated with pain and those keeps one's life incomplete
The responses which aids us in surviving without our needs being fulfill
And above all acknowledging and accepting whose response is needed to one’s needs, one’s pain and one’s silence.
Engaging with the clients by acknowledging at which point they are presently in their journeys and searching for small and safe windows in to their internal worlds to facilitate the truth which lives inside one.
And hence bringing about congruence with their external reality how i i intend to actualize a seamless continuum between past, present and future.
MY FEES:
- Direct payment
Online Consultation
- Online consultations offered
I AM FLUENT IN:
- English
I WORK WITH:
- Adults
- Communities
- Groups
- Individuals
CORE SERVICES:
- Emotional Intelligence
- Mindfulness
- Psychology (Clinical)
- Psychotherapy (Individual)
SCOPE OF PRACTICE:
- Abandonment
- Abuse (Emotional / Physical)
- Anxiety Disorders
- Behavioural and Emotional Problems
- Depression
- Relationships and Marriage Problems
- Trauma
Approach
When i initially started my training in university of Calcutta, i was predominantly imparted concepts and techniques from school of cognitive behavior therapy and behavioral therapy, though i still implement those ideas in a limited manner, my conceptualization of problems and pain faced by fellow beings has drastically changed; to quote from my favorite book the body keeps the score: “most of our energies are devoted to connecting with others, if we look beyond the list of specific symptoms that entail formal psychiatric diagnosis, we find that all most all mental sufferings involves either trouble in creating workable and satisfying relationships or difficulties in regulating arousal (as in the case of habitually becoming enraged, shut down, over excited or disorganized). Usually its a combination of both.
Emotional Pain and Manifestations
Depressive and anxiety symptoms,
Disturbed sleep, Substance abuse & fatigue,
Social apprehension and anxiety,
Struggling and remaining in abusive/unfulfilling relationships (including parental relationships)
Avoiding commitment/relationships
Fear/non-acceptance of failure
Dissolving the sense of self and over caring in relationships
Impulsivity
Attachment insecurities
Fighting one's hurts
Obsessing over professional success
Hypercritical of self
Keeping parents/partners/close friends on a pedestal,
Apprehensive to speak one’s mind
Insecurities about one’s body
Helpless about raising the voice against hurt and disrespect
Fearful of loneliness
Apprehension in choosing partners
Afraid to share failures and fear of judgment
Struggling with rejections and above all "living in alienation and silence of one's own voice"
Avoiding Pain
Our strategies to deal with pain through numbing, disassociating, overlooking the experience, through rage and anger, through worrying and rumination only takes us further away from ourselves, gathering more silence and loss on the way.
My Efforts
My efforts are aimed at separating the emotional experiences from accounts of events,
Identify pain lying deep within us
Understand one's unfulfilled needs associated with pain and those keeps one's life incomplete
The responses which aids us in surviving without our needs being fulfill
And above all acknowledging and accepting whose response is needed to one’s needs, one’s pain and one’s silence.
Engaging with the clients by acknowledging at which point they are presently in their journeys and searching for small and safe windows in to their internal worlds to facilitate the truth which lives inside one.
And hence bringing about congruence with their external reality how i i intend to actualize a seamless continuum between past, present and future.
About the therapeutic frame
We are born with the ability to create relationship bonds and subsequently respond towards the self in an adaptive manner by supporting the self, protecting the self or by being compassionate towards the self.
Pain is felt when our relationships fail. both with others and ourselves:
- By criticizing, by worrying the self or by outright blocking of emotional experiences.
- Mild self-criticisms become self contempt and self loathing,
- It elegantly completes the puzzle and answers the unknown reasons for being terrorized and/or excluded and/or humiliated.
- The ease and elegance of this solution gradually evolves into monsters of self-punishment, self interruption, toughening ourselves up, preparing for more disappointments, fatigue and tension in body, downplaying hurt and betrayal, laughing at ourselves and self-abasement.
- Monsters of anger of substance abuse replace unbearable shame.
- Monster of guilt brings eerie silence and submission. Monsters of worrying and perfectionism deprive life of every joy.
How can psychotherapy help?
In the time of adversity, the support of another human being plays an important role. When clients approach, the objective is to understand what the pain is.
The premises of change lies in expression of our unmet needs in unexplored and unprocessed pain mobilizes the person to have those needs met.
When the therapist actively conveys compassion to the client or expresses rightful anger on behalf of the client, it helps the client break out of existential isolation and feel everything they feel is legitimate and true, bringing along aa sense of worth and entitlement.
True change happens when the client is able to incorporate and replicate the stance taken by the therapist. This is recovering one's true voice.
Rejections and disappointments experienced outside one creates a sense of unwelcomeness' within us. The most significant implication of this inhospitable condition is the loss of compassion for ourselves.
Additionally we struggle with the loss of protective anger. Out of fear of repercussions of being judged or hurting others, we suppress our rightful and just anger, anger which protects our sense of worth, sense of deservingness.
Navigating pain to discover true voice, compassion and rightful anger is the objective of my work with clients.
Session Fee
Individual Session: Rs 3000/- for 75 minutes
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