What To Do When Overwhelmed By The Crisis In Ukraine
When we are dealing with stress and overwhelming feelings related to the war in Ukraine, it is difficult to stay grounded and be of help to yourself and others. In this article I provide some suggestions of how to support yourself and people around you.
None of my friends in Ukraine believed that war was possible when I was asking them about the Russian military congregating on the border, after reading the news printed in the Western media. It is still difficult to comprehend, even after two and a half months, that a war is possible in 21st century Europe. And that the hope for a peaceful future is getting further away.
It is very difficult to describe what I was experiencing during these days. I live in the safe country of Singapore. When I heard about the war, I couldn’t stop crying for days, feeling shock, disbelief, sadness, and fear. I left Ukraine 20 years ago, but I still have close friends who are living there and friends who are now displaced because they had to leave their homes to save their lives. The war in Ukraine has been affecting a lot of people, not just those who, like me, have relatives or friends in Ukraine. Humans are empathic beings. It is very difficult for us to observe the suffering of our fellow beings, to see the ruins of once beautiful cities and to comprehend the devastation and impact of this terrifying war. Many of my friends all over the world are going through a rollercoaster of emotions from horror, anger, fear, sadness to guilt and numbness.
During these times, when overwhelmed with strong emotions, I remind myself and people around me, to come back to basics - focus on sleep, healthy food and physical exercise. It is important to restrict alcohol and caffeine and to take calming breaks between work tasks. These steps can provide the basis for balancing your emotions better. It does not mean that painful emotions will go away, but it might be easier to cope with them.
Think about what is under your control. Often our anxious mind goes into worrying and trying to predict what might happen and how to prepare for an unknown future. However, frequently we do not have the necessary information to do this as what we are worried about is in the future. Ask yourself – how can I help myself and others now, what can I do in this moment in time?
Learn to validate yourself and your emotions. Strong overwhelming emotions are all normal responses to human tragedy. We all deal with strong emotions differently. Some try to keep themselves busy all the time, while others might sit in front of the TV, feeling overwhelmed and unable to move. A state of paralysis and complete lack of energy can be disrupted by periods of near manic energy and minimal sleep. Some may go into "survival mode" and may not experience the psychological effects until much later.
It is important to get some balance in listening to and reading the news. Of course, you need to understand the situation as much as possible and be informed, however, it is crucial to take some breaks from the news, especially before going to bed. Be mindful of the images and videos you are looking at.
Talk to friends, keep a diary, talk to a psychologist - share your feelings and reflect on what helped you cope in the past. If you are under a lot of stress, this is not the time to dig into your past, you need to focus on coping with your stress first, here and now. Learn calming techniques – psychologists often teach their clients slow breathing and grounding techniques, and progressive muscle relaxation. By calming yourself down, you can start thinking more rationally and provide better help to yourself and to others around you.
Here is a brief slow breathing technique I use myself and recommend to my clients. It is important to learn to relax your body throughout the day. Try practising this technique at least three times a day to reduce the overall level of stress and anxiety. It will also then be useful in times of high stress.
1. Place one hand on your chest, the other on your belly. Try to breathe through your belly, so the hand on your belly will be moving while the hand on your chest will remain still. Sometimes what helps is to imagine the balloon in your belly expanding in and out.
2. The goal is not to breathe deeper, but to slow down breathing. Thus, we relax the muscles and slow down our heart.
3. Inhale for 4 counts. Hold your breath for 2 counts. Exhale as you count to 6. Hold your breath for 2 counts and start over again. One count per second, do not rush. Breathe for three minutes.
This technique helps to balance oxygen and carbon dioxide in the blood. When we are stressed, we breathe too fast, which leads to an imbalance of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Symptoms may include numbness in the legs and arms, dizziness, weakness, muscle spasms, and feeling as if you are about to pass out.
When you are feeling overwhelmed and need short-term relief, it can help to focus your attention on an activity and away from your thoughts. Here are five suggestions:
Actions: Do something around the house: clean, cook, move furniture around, do a crossword or a drawing, take a shower, have a massage or move your body with yoga or exercise.
Focus on helping others: Check-in on your loved ones and see if there is practical support you can offer.
Soothe yourself: Try to soothe yourself by watching a soothing movie/program, reading a book or listening to music.
Engage your mind: Count backwards from 100 in 7s, name 10 colours or pieces of furniture in the room, think of 10 cities starting with the letter A.
Use your senses: Name 5 things that you can see, hear, touch, smell and taste.
Alla is a qualified Psychologist (Clinical), based in Central, Hong Kong, Hong Kong.
With a commitment to mental health, Dr Demutska provides services in English, including Awareness, Coaching, Ukraine Aid, Mindfulness, Psychoeducation, Psychology (Clinical), Supervision, Therapy, Therapy (Online) and Wellness.
Dr Demutska has expertise in Anxiety Disorders, Attachment Issues, Depression, Emotional Overwhelm, Expat Living, Life Balance, Personal Growth, Self-Love, Trauma and Worry.
Click here to schedule a session with Dr Demutska.
Important:
TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
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