Reflections on the Need for Security
One therapist's take on how this virus is affecting our need for security and what we can do about it.
The coronavirus has been an interesting experience as a psychotherapist and human being, personally and professionally. Seeing the reactions of people to this illness has led me to conclude that we are a society in transition, and as such we are in need of security and stability.
People come to me with anxiety, frustration, fear, and bracing against the threat of the unknown. In a sense, they are looking for something more than cognitive comfort and an appeal to their rational minds. Their energy is scattered, hastily gathering up whatever they can to sustain themselves on a physical level. Many people have lost their centre, their calmness and security at the core. Some people have to reach so far back to remember a feeling of security that it is preverbal, primal. My job as the psychotherapist is not only to help them understand that they are safe now as adults – at least, as much as I can accurately assure them – but also to help them re-parent themselves.
When we think of what a good parent does for a child or baby when they are upset or frightened, we think of soothing, holding, witnessing, and listening. There is also a holding of the other in one’s heart, with care and concern. A parent can reassure a child with appropriate love and touch, but for the most part, psychotherapists do not engage in touch, and with good reason. We have boundaries to uphold that are mutually beneficial for therapists and clients. Nonetheless, we find other ways to let a client know that they are important and that we hold them in esteem and respect.
With all the self-quarantining aspects of this recent epidemic, there are fewer and fewer ways to reach across the divide to let people know that we’re here for them. We can offer teletherapy by phone and video, which is a good enough way to show that we value our time together and them as human beings. There is something that is inevitably missing when you’re not in the same room with another person, holding the space for them to be vulnerable and open. I still find great value in video therapy and do it as often as I can for people who can’t be in the same area or room with me. However, I cannot deny that sharing the same energy field with another person has its own power that is healing in itself.
Furthermore, the isolation and loneliness that comes with not gathering together as humans take their toll on everyone. This includes the psychotherapist as well as the client. Not be able to go to restaurants, social gatherings, concerts, spiritual services, etc. is depleting. Only think about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, it seems as though most of our attention and energy is fixated on the very most basic physical needs right now. I wonder what toll this epidemic will take on the other needs as well.
Perhaps it would be good to offer group therapy or other types of gatherings to clients so that they are not as isolated and we as therapists have more contact with other people as well. After all, we benefit just as much from being with our clients as they do sometimes. We learn from them, care for them, and in giving them our unconditional positive regard, we are able to experience the same. Unfortunately, some managed-care companies are still unwilling to compensate psychotherapists for video therapy and other forms of teletherapy in spite of the fact that people are afraid to leave their houses for fear of infection. When I think about this, I feel hopeless and helpless, but I realize that there is still time for us to use our power and words for the common good and social change.
Perhaps we can start to offer coronavirus support groups for people online so that they don’t have to leave the house and can still have half an ear open for their children playing in the other room. Maybe we can still go out and see the sunshine, smile at another human being, and remember that the world is not a small as it seems when you’re trapped indoors. Maybe we can plan better for unexpected emergencies like this, and come up with policies and procedures that make more sense than what we been doing this time around. I really hope that we can learn from this pandemic how to be present for each other while still having common sense, safety, and security.
Image by Gerhard Gellinger from Pixabay
Important:
TherapyRoute does not provide medical advice. All content is for informational purposes and cannot replace consulting a healthcare professional. If you face an emergency, please contact a local emergency service. For immediate emotional support, consider contacting a local helpline.
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